The Road Not Taken
by Clara Barton
Summary: Sometimes we live our lives following one road because we never consider another. Trowa Barton has the misfortune to answer the classified of a straight Duo Maxwell.
1. Chapter 1

Standard disclaimers. Not mine.

Warnings: angst, language, yaoi

Pairings: 2x3, 1x5, 3x4, past 1x3

_The Road Not Taken_

Part One

"You know what I need?"

"A bottle of wine and a pint of Ben and Jerry's?" Duo suggested.

Hilde, his roommate and best friend, glared at him.

It was Friday night, and per their custom for the past two years they were watching a movie together, at home on their couch. It had become a custom over the years because, invariably, they both jumped in and out of relationships every few weeks or months. Hilde had decided that no date with a 'future loser' was as important as spending Friday nights together and Duo had been forced to agree. Of all the girls he knew, none were quite like Hilde, and he was happy to schedule any dates around their standing Friday night tradition.

"No. I need to try something crazy, you know? I mean whatever the hell I'm doing isn't really working, is it?"

"Um… what exactly are we talking about?"

"I'm talking about the fact that Jeff was an asshole. And Steven was an asshole. And Tom was a douchbag and -"

"Oh. We're talking about your tragedy of a love life," Duo concluded.

"Yes. Obviously. What _else_ would we talk about?" Hilde sighed and turned to him. "Seriously, though, Duo. Look at me. I'm awesome. I'm hot. I'm funny and smart and sexy and we both know I'm good in bed so _why_ can't I find a decent guy?"

"Because every guy you've ever met is a pale imitation of me?" He offered.

She punched him.

"No, because every guy I meet has expectations about the Feminazi _or_ he doesn't know I'm a Gender Studies doctoral candidate and turns out to be a misogynistic asshole anyway."

"So… is this you coming out to me as a lesbian? Because I would support you. Especially if you were interested in a threesome?"

She punched him again.

"No, Duo. This is not me coming out. I'm just trying to think, out loud. To myself since clearly you aren't any help at all."

Duo sighed.

"You're right. You meet guys who judge you on your looks or who know you by reputation. You need to figure out how to make sure they know what they're getting into _before_ you go out with them. I mean, that's what I do."

Hilde gave him a look.

"I do," he said defensively. "I meet a girl and I tell her up front that I'm not interested in casual sex and I'm looking for the love of my life so we can raise a family of three kids and two dogs."

"I see you've gotten rid of the cat?"

Duo shrugged.

"Turns out kid number two is allergic. The point is, there are things I want to do in my life and I want someone to do those with me."

"Duo. You are aware that in the last three years you've had exactly two girl friends - and one of those is me."

"Yep."

Hilde sighed.

"I'm sorry, Duo."

He held up one hand.

"Don't be. You're the love of my life, Hilde, but you don't want children and I don't want to change a single thing about you." He leaned over and kissed her forehead. "So you're stuck with me as your best friend for the rest of your life instead."

"And Sylvia?" Hilde asked, forcing Duo to frown.

"Sylvia is great," he said slowly. "Just not… I don't know. She's great. She's fun."

"But?"

"But I… want someone that I can sit around with and talk to for hours about absolutely nothing, you know? I like spending time with Sylvia but… I don't want to spend the rest of my life with her."

"You are such a romantic, Duo," Hilde teased him.

"I know," he agreed with a sigh.

She leaned against him and he put an arm around her shoulders.

"Want to watch the series finale of How I Met Your Mother and scream at the tv again?" He offered, knowing it was the best way to get her out of a funk.

"Yes, please," she said.

It was two weeks and four terrible dates later when Hilde came home and threw a newspaper at him, upsetting the stack of essays he had been grading.

"I found it!" She exclaimed.

"Found what? Clearly not your sanity."

"Nope. The solution."

She bent down to help him collect the scattered essays and then spread the newspaper out in front of him.

"This is the classifieds section."

"Exactly. I'm going to put out an ad. That way, whoever I get will know what _they _are getting into."

"Uh huh."

"Don't uh huh me. What?"

Duo shrugged.

"No, no. I'm sure it's a brilliant idea. You'll find all kinds of really empathetic rapists and child molesters."

"Duo! Come on!"

"Hilde! Stop hitting me!" He warned her when she raised the newspaper. "Once a week or I'm going to have to get a restraining order."

"But I'm serious Duo. I can express who I am and what I'm interested in. It's not like I'm going to find people _worse _than Alex."

"No, probably not," Duo agreed, remembering Hilde's boyfriend from two years ago who hadn't understood that no really meant no until Duo had bodily thrown him out of the apartment and threatened to kill him.

"You know… you could do it with me…" Hilde suggested.

He arched an eyebrow at her.

"What?"

"Put out an ad. You never know. You might meet your soul mate."

"Or the guy who wants to cut me up and put me in his freezer."

Hilde shrugged.

"That's probably going to be the same person."

He glared at her.

"Come on. Just try it with me. You might be surprised."

She gave him her best pleading look and eventually Duo gave in.

"_Fine_," he said. " Let's put out classified ads inviting crazy people into our lives."

-o-

"You get that he isn't worth your time, right?"

Trowa looked over at Heero, but his friend was glaring out across the dark theatre to the action onstage. Specifically, he was glaring at the blond man cast as _Hamlet_, Quatre Winner, as he rehearsed the final scenes of the play scheduled to open in two nights.

"What do you mean?" Trowa asked, though he already knew what Heero was going to say.

"You know what I mean," Heero growled. "You've wasted how many years at the beck and call of Quatre's whims? Three? Four now?"

Trowa glared at him.

"I'm not wasting my time."

"Yes, you are. You could be in a relationship with someone - an actual relationship where you wake up next to the man you love instead of this."

"This?"

"Trowa. Come on. You and Quatre get together for a few nights every other month and then you don't hear from him until he's horny again. He's just using you for sex."

"There are worse things to be used for," Trowa mused. Especially when he considered just how good the sex with Quatre was.

"So that's all you want? Because I seem to remember dating a certain foolishly romantic scenic designer who wanted to find his soul mate and settle down to raise a family."

Trowa frowned.

"I was young and stupid then." He sighed. "But no, this isn't what I want. I just keep thinking he's going to realize that I'm here, waiting for him."

"Trowa, Quatre _knows_ that. He's known that since the day you cheated on me with him years ago."

Trowa had to wince at the reminded of one of the worst things he had ever done.

"I'm sorry."

Heero shrugged. Their attention was momentarily drawn back to the stage when Wufei Chang, playing the role of Laertes, met his death.

"If you hadn't I never would have given Wufei a chance."

Trowa had to smile at that.

"And now look at you. Engaged and on your way to a brilliant future with the man _you _want to spend the rest of your life with."

Heero frowned.

"I want that for you, Trowa. You're my best friend. Sometimes I regret not trying to fight for you… but I never could compete with Quatre."

"Heero."

"Trowa. Get your head out of your ass. You turn thirty this year. Do you really want to be one of those thirty or forty year old gay men lurking around clubs, looking for a one night stand?"

Trowa scowled.

"That was unnecessarily harsh."

"No, it wasn't," Heero argued. "Wufei told me what happened last night."

Trowa sighed.

They were in final dress rehearsals for _Hamlet_, starring Quatre. Trowa had designed the scenery for the show and Heero the lights. After the rehearsal last night Heero had had to stay late to work on a few lighting cues, so Trowa and Wufei had gone to the bar across the street while he worked.

Quatre and the rest of the cast had been there as well as the director of the show, a hot shot from New York that Quatre had struck up an instant, intimate affair with. An affair that seemed to be drawing to a close as the show neared opening.

That night Quatre had joined Wufei, Trowa and Catharine Bloom, the costume designer, at their customary table in the back corner of the bar and suggested that Trowa wait around for him Wednesday night for a few hours after the opening night party - he wanted to say goodbye to James, the director, but after that he would _probably_ want Trowa's company.

Trowa wasn't really surprised that Wufei had told Heero about it.

"I can't believe you said yes to him - he tells you that you are second best and you just accept it."

"It's not like I have a lot of other options, Heero," Trowa snapped.

Heero scowled.

"You would if you just opened your eyes and made an effort."

"What are you talking about?"

"If you just want to date an actor then ask out Rosencrantz and Guildenstern - they practically masterbate onstage whenever they see you."

Trowa rolled his eyes.

"I don't just want to date an actor. I want to be with someone who -"

"Who what?"

"Who makes me think of nothing else but them," Trowa finished lamely.

Heero nodded knowingly and shoved a newspaper in front of him.

"What's this?" Trowa asked.

"Just read the one I circled," Heero suggested.

Onstage everyone had just died, and the lights in the house came up just in time to allow Trowa to find a small box Heero had circled on the classified ads page.

_Twenty three year old male seeking committed relationship. Must have an interest in hour long arguments about trivial information, a love of dogs and craft beers. Above all must be willing to speak what you feel, not what you ought to say._

-o-

On Friday night Hilde bailed on their standing date. Greg Clark had answered her ad in the classifieds and she had a good feeling about _this_ one. This one, because the last seven guys who had called about the ad had turned out to be complete ass hats by Hilde's standards.

So it was that Duo found himself alone on Friday night, heating up a frozen meal and trying to figure out what wine paired best with Lean Cuisine when his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Duo Maxwell?" The voice was pleasant, male and unfamiliar.

"That's me!" Duo wedged the phone between his shoulder and ear and picked up the wine bottle and a glass in one hand and the frozen meal in his other.

"I saw your ad in the classifieds."

"Oh - uh… Oh! Shit. I completely forgot about that." Duo had to chuckle. "I haven't even had any replies to it."

"I'm surprised, usually _King Lear_ quotes are great pick up lines," the voice said in a dry, sarcastic tone that had Duo smirking in response.

"Yeah, I was thinking maybe I should go for _Macbeth_ and 'nothing in his life became him like leaving it' but it didn't have quite the same ring."

The unfamiliar voice chuckled, a low, warm sound.

"Most people just don't appreciate Shakespeare as much as they ought to," the voice mused.

"Tell me about it," Duo groused. He set down his meal and poured a generous amount of wine into the glass before taking an equally generous sip. "I was grading these papers the other day and it just - it breaks my heart sometimes, to see how much kids these days love reality television and the celebutants and they don't understand that Shakespeare already invented all of this amazing drama four hundred years ago!"

"You're a teacher?"

"Oh, no. Graduate student - and I'm a TA for a few classes as part of my assistantship. And… you are?" Duo suddenly realized he still had no clue who he was talking to.

"Sorry. Trowa Barton."

"Oh, well, nice to talk to you, Trowa Barton. Is there a problem with the ad?"

"Not that I know of? Except that you don't seem to have had much followup."

"Oh, you're not with the paper? I guess I just assumed… sorry." Duo contemplated trying to eat and talk at the same time, but thought it best not to so he settled on drinking more instead.

"No, I'm not. I saw the _Lear_ quote and was intrigued. Usually the classifieds are filled with measurements and physical descriptions - it's rare you see someone write anything that emotional or intellectual. I thought you would be interesting to talk to at least."

Duo found himself feeling pleased and embarrassed at the same time. The whole thing had been such a throwaway idea of Hilde's, but he had added the line in there just to put a bit of himself out there.

"Do you often search the classifieds for… intriguing conversations, Trowa?"

Another warm chuckle.

"No, actually. I didn't even find it - a friend of mine did and shoved the paper in my face in the middle of working on a project."

Duo had to laugh, thinking that Hilde would have done much the same to him - had done, many times in fact.

"What do you do? If I can ask?"

"I'm a scenic designer - freelance. I work around town and some out of state gigs."

"A scenic designer… like for theatre?" Duo tried to rack his brain and realized he didn't really know what that meant.  
"I've done some television but mostly theatre, yes."

"Oh - well I guess that explains the love for Shakespeare."

"It does - and you? You said you were a graduate student? Literature?"

"Oh, no, history actually, but I finagled my way into a TA position on this Tudor History class so _that_ is my current joy and exquisite pain."

"And do you take it out on them? One's pain is lessened by another's anguish?" Trowa asked, a teasing note to his voice as he quoted Shakespeare.

Duo laughed.

"No, I'm such a sucker, to be honest, and all I want is for the students to understand just how… infinitely beautiful the past can be, you know? So if I see even a glimmer of hope - I grade easier."

"And they _don't_ take advantage of you?"

"Oh, hell yeah they do. I've got a reputation as being such a pushover."

Trowa chuckled and Duo found himself smiling at the sound.

"Tell me more about this scenic design thing. I'm sorry, I don't know much about theatre or… design."

"Well, every story has a setting, right?" Trowa said.

"Sure - long ago in a galaxy far, far away?"

"Just like that," Trowa agreed. "And the location - the setting - is as much a part of the story as the dialogue. It's my job to give the story a physical entity. I read a play, I talk to a director and I think about what the play is about - what it means, why it's important, _where_ would make it more important. And I go from there."

Duo abandoned the frozen dinner and took the wine over to the couch. He poured himself another glass and settled back.

"Huh. That sounds… actually it sounds amazing. What was your favorite design?"

The conversation jumped off from there. Trowa spoke about his favorite designs and somehow that segued into their mutual love for the Yankees and baseball to why Duo was getting a PhD. in history.

Hilde's arrival home three hours later startled Duo mid-sentence.

"Hey," he greeted her reflexively.

"Hey," Trowa said, amused.

"Hi," Hilde responded, she looked tired but had a wide, satisfied smile on her face.

"Sorry, my roommate just got home," Duo told Trowa and then he realized what that meant. "Shit. It's after midnight. I had no idea, I'm sorry I -"

"Duo. It's fine," Trowa assured him, still sounding amused.

"Yeah, okay. Cool. But I should go."

Hilde was giving him a funny look and Duo gestured for her to give him a minute.

"I'm glad I called," Trowa said.

"Yeah, me too. Actually, do you want to grab drinks? Tomorrow? The Yankees game will be on and there's a good bar -"

"Sidebar?"

Duo had to smile. Of all the bars in Atlanta, they had been thinking of the same one.

"Yeah! Anyway, first pitch is just after eight…"

"Sounds good. I'll see you there."

Duo hung up and looked over at Hilde.

"Going on a date?" She asked him.

Duo shook his head.

"No. It's a guy - we're going to go hang out and watch the Yankees game tomorrow."

She smiled.

"Are you finally hanging out with the other TAs?"

Duo scowled.

"Hell no. No, Trowa saw my classified and thought it was amusing I used a _Lear_ quote so he called."

Hilde arched an eyebrow.

"Really?"

Duo rolled his eyes.

"Yes, really. Other people read Shakespeare, you know."

"No, I'm sure they do, but…" she shrugged. "Well, you and your new bestie have fun."

Duo glared.

"_Anyway_, how did your actual date go?"

Hilde flopped down on the couch beside him and gave him a goofy grin.

"Amazing. He was great - smart and he complimented me on my laugh and didn't say _anything_ about my physical appearance except that he liked my smile and he didn't hold open a single door for me and -"

"And you're totally in love. Jesus. Is this was a feminazi in love looks like?"

She punched his shoulder.

"Ow!"

"Don't call me that. Besides, I'm not _in love_. Just happy to have gone on a decent date with a decent guy."

"Uh huh. When are you seeing him again?"

"Lunch. Tomorrow."

Duo had to laugh.

"And he's moving in at the end of the week, right?"


	2. Chapter 2

Standard Disclaimers: Not mine.

Warnings: angst, language, yaoi

Pairings: 2x3, 3x4, 1x5, past 1x3, past 2xH

_The Road Not Taken_

Part Two

"Why are you smiling?"

"What?" Trowa had to remove one of his earbuds and ask Heero to repeat his question.

"What are you smiling?" Heero asked again, scowling at the expression on Trowa's face.

"Because I'm happy?"

"You're running. You're never happy when you're running."

It was true. For the past six years he and Heero had gone running at least three times a week early in the morning, and Trowa had hated it from the start. He used to think Heero had forced him to do it just as a form of torture, and six years later he was convinced that Heero was both a sadist and a masochist since Heero didn't seem to enjoy it much either.

"Well I'm not thinking about running," Trowa allowed.

Heero gave him a curious look and then came to a dead stop. Trowa slowed down and then stopped when he realized Heero was still standing still.

"You took him back again, didn't you?"

"What? Quatre? No. No, I didn't," Trowa insisted. He had, as a matter of fact, texted Quatre late last night to cancel their plans to go out that night so that he could go out with Duo instead. It had felt indescribably good to cancel on Quatre.

"Then what the hell are you so happy about?" Heero demanded.

"I called Duo."

"Duo?"

"The ad that you circled in red for me. Duo Maxwell. With the _Lear _quote?"

Heero smirked and finally started running again. Trowa reluctantly followed suit.

"And you… liked him?"

"Yes. I did." Trowa smiled again, thinking about their three hour conversation last night. "A lot. We're going out tonight."

"Stop smiling like that, Trowa," Heero muttered.

"Like what?"

"Like you're happy. I'm not used to it."

Trowa gave him a look and Heero smirked.

"What was his name again?"

"Duo. Duo Maxwell."

"You're smiling just _saying his name_."

"Maybe I'm just smiling because I finally fell in love with running?" Trowa suggested.

He should be bothered by Heero's teasing, but he wasn't. It felt bizarre to feel this attracted and connected to another person after just a three hour phone conversation, but he did. Duo was smart and funny and his voice - his voice was the sexiest thing Trowa had ever heard. He wondered how different it would be in person.

"Are you sure he isn't a serial killer or something?" Heero asked after several minutes of running in silence.

"He's a graduate student at Emory - he's getting his doctorate in history."

"That doesn't mean he's not a serial killer," Heero pointed out.

"If he is, he has extremely good taste in books and movies. At least I'll be entertained as he kills me."

"What if he turns out to be ugly?"

"Jesus, Heero, thanks for the support."

"I'm only asking the obvious question here. What if he weighs three hundred pounds and -"

"How he looks matters, yes," Trowa conceded. "But if I was _only_ interested in how someone looked I'd ask out Rosencrantz or Guildenstern."

After Heero's throwaway comment about the two actors earlier in the week Trowa _had_ noticed the two actors attention and very obvious attraction to him. It was amusing, and vaguely gratifying, but Trowa wasn't interested in either of them.

"Where are you taking him?" Heero asked.

"Why? So you can stalk me at the bar?"

Heero shrugged one shoulder.

"Do you need me to? In case he _does_ weigh three hundred pounds or is a serial killer?"

"If he weighs three hundred pounds then I'll deal with it. If he is a serial killer I seriously doubt that's going to come out on our first date."

"I'm just saying. I'm here for you."

"Thanks, buddy," Trowa told him sarcastically and resolutely put his earbuds back in, signalling an end to the conversation.

He couldn't help but think that with a voice like his, Duo didn't even need to be that handsome - Trowa would be perfectly content to just close his eyes and listen to him speak.

That evening as he got ready for the date he only briefly debated what to wear - it was a bar and a baseball game, so it would be a fairly casual first date. He decided on a gray henley t-shirt and fitted khaki pants. He didn't have very high expectations about bringing Duo back to his apartment that night so he went for comfort when selecting boxer briefs instead of the tight,black pair that were Quatre's favorites.

When he arrived at the bar he looked around for Duo - the other man had texted him to say he would be the obnoxious looking Yankees fan - when his phone started to ring.

He saw that it was Heero and reluctantly answered.

"Hello?"

"He hasn't killed you yet?"

"No, he hasn't killed me yet. I haven't even met him yet."

"He stood you up?"

"No, I don't think so. I'm just looking for him now."

"Keep me on the phone with you. If he turns out to be a nightmare you can say you have an emergency."

"Is this the kind of wingman support I've been missing all these years?" Trowa had to ask.

"Yes. Don't you regret all those years you wasted on Quatre now?"

"No," Trowa answered honestly. "Not if it means I got to avoid this. You are seriously -"

Standing near the back of the bar, wearing a Yankees t-shirt was a man who waved at Trowa. His brown hair was long enough that he had pulled it back into a loose ponytail at the back of his neck. He was a few inches shorter than Trowa, with a lean build and strong, broad features that transformed into a devastatingly handsome smile when he saw Trowa looking back at him.

"Trowa? Are you still there?"

"Yeah." Trowa tore his attention away from the man. "He's here. He's not disgusting and if he wants to kill me I'm okay with that." He hung up before Heero could say anything else.

-o-

By the end of the night Duo felt confident he had found a new best friend.

Trowa got all of his jokes, his Shakespeare references _and_ he loathed the Red Sox almost as much as Duo did. They had spent a pleasant few hours together at Sidebar, watching the game, eating hot dogs and drinking beer. The bar had been packed, and the only decent seat had been a booth in the back that they had had to cram into side by side so they could both watch the game. It had been worth it, though, Duo reflected.

They had another drink after the game ended, but by eleven Duo felt he should head home and catch up on grading.

As they walked across the parking lot towards their cars, their shoulders bumped together, and Duo couldn't help but think that this entire night had been surreal. One three hour phone conversation, drinks and dinner and now he felt like he had known Trowa for years.

They approached Duo's car and he slowed down, hesitant to go home.

"Well," Duo scratched the back of his neck, suddenly feeling inexplicably awkward, "this is me." He gestured to his Corolla.

Trowa nodded.

"I'm over there somewhere," he added a vague gesture that made Duo smile.

They stood in silence for a moment.

"Well -" they said at the same time and Duo had to laugh. Trowa smiled slightly and the tension broke.

"This was great," Duo said. "I'd love to do it again sometime - are you free this weekend? We could watch the Yankees game down at the bar or -"

His offer was cut off when Trowa's mouth silenced him. His lips were hot and smooth and his tongue - his tongue was in Duo's mouth.

Duo froze.

Trowa had moved close enough so that their entire bodies were touching now. Trowa was warm, his body was hard and Duo felt… weird.

"What was that?" He had to ask when Trowa stepped back.

Trowa winced.

"Not my best work, I'm sorry." One corner of his mouth tipped up. "Let me try again."

Before Duo could formulate any kind of coherent thought, much less a response, Trowa was kissing him again. His tongue caressed Duo's lips and he opened his mouth and then he felt a shot of electricity through his entire body as their tongues met. Trowa's hands moved up to cradle Duo's skull, his fingers threading through Duo's hair and he shifted forward so that their groins rubbed together.

Duo stepped back and held up his hands.

"No. I - I'm - are you _gay_?"

Trowa arched an eyebrow.

"Yes?" The taller man looked Duo over and his expression slowly became a completely neutral mask. "You aren't."

"Ah, no. No, I'm not."

"So this date was just… what was this then?" There was the faintest thread of anger in Trowa's voice.

"Date? This wasn't a…" Duo realized way too late that it _had_ been a date. "Fuck. I thought you just saw the ad and… wanted to hang out… I didn't realize…" he ran a hand through his hair.

"Typically classified ads in the "Seeking" section mean you are looking for a date," Trowa bit out.

"Yeah, I was -"

"And _you_ were the one who suggested we go out and get a drink."

"Yeah, I did -"

"And you're the one who insisted on sitting in the goddamned miniscule booth together."

"Yeah, because -"

"You practically sat in my lap to get the waitress' attention."

"Okay, that _was_ a little -"

"And you're the one who _wiped mustard from my mouth_."

Duo felt himself flushing red.

"It never occurred to me that you were gay. I seriously thought we were just hanging out and you - fuck it, you're awesome, man and I guess I've never been one for personal space issues so I just - look. I'm sorry. You called me, I thought you were with the paper, and you weren't and we just talked for hours and I figured, hey, I don't hang out with that many guys who care about _more_ than baseball or Tudor England and - I jumped. I did. And I'm sorry."

Trowa stood there, his face still impassive but his body tense with anger.

"The fucked up thing is," Trowa said, his lips twisted into a bitter smile, "the fucked up thing is that this was the best date I've been on in years. And it was with a straight guy." He shook his head.

"I am sorry," Duo said. He didn't know what else to say. "I - I should go." He dug his keys out of his pocket.

"You know," Trowa said, the anger gone from his voice now, "for a straight guy you seemed to be enjoying that kiss. A lot."

Duo flushed again.

"I - I didn't know what to do. No one has ever kissed me like that. I mean, I've never kissed a guy and -"

Trowa held up one hand and made a shooing gesture.

"Run along back to your heterosexual world, Duo. Don't worry about it."

And with that, he turned and walked away, leaving Duo to stare after him.

-o-

By Tuesday morning Trowa still hated the world.

He had spent Sunday in a foul mood and as a result his apartment had never been cleaner - he scoured every inch of the place with earth-friendly cleaner and even scrubbed the concrete on his balcony.

On Monday he had thrown himself into his next project and spent the day building the white model for _Eurydice_, the next show he was designing. He ignored three calls from Heero and one from Quatre, but finally answered when Wufei called him twice.

"Tell Heero I'm alive," he said, "and that I'll see him at the production meeting tomorrow."

"You don't sound _happy_ to be alive," Wufei said.

"I'm not," he growled in response and then hung up.

He managed to channel all of his anger at himself, Duo, Quatre - and Heero for that matter - into his work and by midnight on Monday he had a rough, white model of the set that actually distracted him from his anger enough to be excited about the show.

He went to the Tuesday morning production meeting with the model in one hand, his thermos of paint-strippingly strong coffee in another and a glare in Heero's direction when his friend started to ask him about his date.

They settled around the conference table and Trowa managed to put all thoughts of Duo out of his mind for the next two hours as they discussed the play and talked about the model.

It was a productive meeting. The director was an old friend of Heero's and Trowa had worked with him once before as well.

The play was one of Trowa's favorites, and it sounded like Heero and Catharine already had great ideas for the lights and costumes respectively. By the end of the meeting Trowa was already thinking through the revisions to the set and mentally drafting the units.

He was drawn out of his mental realm by Catharine and Heero, who lingered after the meeting and gave him pointed looks.

He tried to ignore them as he packed up his notes.

"Oh come on!" Cathy finally exploded. "Just tell us how it went!"

Trowa glared at Heero.

"You told her?"

"Of course he didn't. Wufei did."

Trowa sighed. He hated everyone in his life.

"At least he wasn't a serial killer," Heero mused. "It couldn't have been _that_ bad."

Trowa couldn't help but snort a laugh.

"It was perfect." He sat down on the edge of the table. "He liked all of my jokes, he got all of my Shakespeare references and he hates the Red Sox. We had a great time."

"So you look ready to murder everyone because…" Cathy trailed off.

"Because he's straight," Trowa bit out angrily.

Cathy arched an eyebrow.

"You answered a straight guy's classified?"

"Apparently. Yes."

"But he still went out with you? Did he think you were a girl?"

"No. He knew I was a guy. He thought… fuck, I don't know what he thought. He assumed I wanted to be his friend or something."

"Because everyone trolls for friends in the classified ads," Cathy muttered.

"So what happened? You clearly had a good time for most of the date," Heero pointed out.

Trowa sighed.

"I kissed him."

"Oh," Cathy said and bit her lip. Then she frowned. "It doesn't look like he punched you in the face." She winced. "The stomach?"

"He didn't punch me," Trowa said. Part of him wished that Duo had. At least then he could associate the entire thing with pain instead of the incredible feel of Duo's hair, his body and his mouth.

"Weird," Heero said, a thoughtful look on his face.

Trowa shrugged.

"Maybe he's a pacifist. I don't know. But it doesn't really matter, does it?"

"Well, I'm sorry it didn't work out," Cathy said. She stood up and ruffled his hair. "But it's good that you're getting out there and trying. And Heero's right. At least he wasn't a serial killer."

"Thanks," Trowa muttered.

Catharine gathered her renderings and left. Heero and Trowa walked out at a more sedate pace.

"Tell me you aren't just going to go back to Quatre after this," Heero demanded as they reached the parking lot.

Trowa snorted.

"No. I'm not."

"Really?" Heero sounded surprised that Trowa didn't try to argue with him.

"Heero, I just went out on the best date I've had - maybe ever. I didn't think about Quatre once, the entire night and you know what - it was great. I _loved_ not thinking about Quatre. I loved being with another guy."

"A straight guy," Heero pointed out.

"Unfortunately, yes. A straight guy. But I spent what - three hours with him on Saturday night and three hours on the phone with him on Friday night? Just six hours and it still felt like I knew him and he knew _me_ more than Quatre ever has. I can't just crawl back to Quatre again. Not when there's a chance that I could feel like _that_ with someone else."

"I want to believe you, but what happens when Quatre calls you up again?"

"Probably the same thing that happened when he called yesterday. I'll ignore him."

Heero's eyes widened.

"The straight guy saved your life."

Trowa rolled his eyes.

"He did not save my life."

"Yes, he did. He made you finally realize you're better off without Quatre. That makes him a goddamned saint."

Trowa thought about Duo's devilish grin.

"I'm not sure that's how I would describe him," Trowa murmured.

"Well no, obviously. He's the stupid bastard who turned out to be straight."

Trowa had to snort a laugh Heero's ability to admire and hate Duo in equal measure.

"Let's just not talk about him anymore, okay? It's not like I'm ever going to hear from him again."


	3. Chapter 3

Standard Disclaimers: Not mine.

Warnings: angst, language, yaoi

Pairings: 2x3, 3x4, 1x5, past 1x3, past 2xH

_The Road Not Taken_

Part Three

Sylvia did _not_ kiss like Trowa. Before, Duo had always enjoyed being with Sylvia - she was funny and smart and maybe they didn't have a lot in common, but she was fun. Sex with her had always been easy and relaxing until now. But after three weeks Duo still couldn't get the feel of Trowa's mouth or his body out of his mind. He realized Hilde was right. There was a new road available to him now - one that was exciting and terrifying and Duo found himself daily tempted more and more to take it. Sylvia was safe and normal. Trowa was not.

When Duo finally decided to call him it was during his lunch break. He found a fairly secluded spot on the quad and settled in to do what was undoubtedly the scariest thing he had ever done in his life.

"Hello?" Trowa sounded tired and irritated and Duo almost hung up.

"Trowa. Hey. It's Duo - Duo Maxwell? We met a few weeks ago -"

"I remember you, Duo. I'm not likely to forget you."

Duo didn't know whether that was a compliment or not but he decided to run with it.

"So, I've been thinking about you. A lot. I know we both went into this with different expectations."

"Just slightly different," Trowa muttered.

"But I had a great time hanging out - I mean an awesome time. I don't know if you would be up for it again, or if you just want to wash your hands of me - I can't promise anything, you know?"

"You just want to hang out? As friends?"

"Well yeah. I'd like that. A lot."

"And what is it that you can't promise?"

Duo bit his lip. This was the hard part, but he had a sneaking feeling that if he didn't go for this, he would regret it for the rest of his life.

"I want a family. I want to get married and have kids and read Shakespeare to them and take them to soccer practice and all of that. I always have. I didn't get that, not really, a family, you know and it's sort of been my life's ambition - to have a family."

Trowa was silent for a long moment.

"Considering how our first date went I'm not too sure you should be proposing at this stage in our relationship," he finally said.

The comment startled a laugh out of Duo.

"No, I just - I've _never_ thought about a guy that way."

"But?"

"But - but damnit, Tro, you kiss by the book. You have to know that. I don't think I've ever experienced anything that… that life alteringly erotic." Duo held his breath. That had been a lot to admit to, and even if Trowa _was _still interested that might have scared him off.

"You really do speak what you feel and not what you ought to say," Trowa mused.

"Yeah, one of my flaws, yanno?"

"No, it's not a flaw." Trowa sighed. "I've never _dated_ a straight guy before."

"Huh?"

"I've been with a few - you know, they wanted to see what it was like or they just enjoyed certain things and didn't think of themselves as gay for that. But you're not one of them."

"I don't think so, no."

"So you want to… hang out and maybe more, if you don't talk yourself out of it."

"Yeah, that's pretty much it."

"I'm in tech rehearsals for a show this weekend and most of next week, so I don't have much time for anyone or anything else.

"Okay," Duo said, feeling a thread of hope. "In not in a rush."

"What are you doing Wednesday night? It's opening night - we could see the show."

"Oh, uh, yeah. I'm free Wednesday night. What show is it? I mean, yes, no matter what, I'm just curious."

"_Eurydice_. I think you'll like it. A lot, actually, now that I think about it."

Duo had to smile.

"Well I trust you."

"Do you, Duo?"

He realized they weren't talking about the play anymore.

"I trust you more than me. I mean, I have no clue what I'm doing anymore. I've never dated a guy or even - I feel like a damned virgin."

"I'm assuming you are one," Trowa pointed out.

Duo felt his face go red as he realized what Trowa was talking about.

"I didn't even think about - is that - are you -" Duo racked his brain. He understood, vaguely, how two men had sex, but he had never given it much thought and he wondered just how painful it was because surely -

"Duo, stop." Trowa was clearly able to read his mind. "Let's start off with a date on Wednesday."

"Yeah. Okay."

-o-

In a lot of ways Trowa felt as though he was going to prom. He had always tried to be thoughtful about his appearance without being vain, but now, as he stood in his closet and examined his clothing he found himself at a complete loss as to what to wear. Everything seemed too casual or too _gay_ and he berated himself for that very thought. Here he was, trying to dress to impress his straight date and not scare him off by appearing to be too much of a fag.

He finally settled on a green zippered cardigan that he left open over a black v-neck t-shirt. He paired it with fitted gray trousers that didn't seem _too_ tight. It had been a lot easier to dress for a date at a bar with Duo when he had thought the other man was gay.

As Trowa left his apartment he debated, not for the first time, if this was even worth it.

Heero was right - he needed to move on from Quatre - but was throwing himself at a straight guy really the right direction to go in? There was no denying that Duo was amazing - funny and smart with a wicked grin that made Trowa think of doing wicked things to him - but did Trowa even have a chance with him? Was he going to walk himself off a cliff?

His doomed train of thought continued as he drove to the theatre and by the time he parked his car he was halfway convinced he should just call Duo and cancel on him.

Except that it was already seven-thirty and the show started in half an hour. Duo was probably already at the theatre, and Trowa _had_ to see the show opening night as part of his contract. There was of course also the fact that Trowa desperately and stupidly wanted to see Duo again - to see his smile and hear his laugh and listen to him talk and be near his lean, sexy body and kiss him again.

He had to smile, thinking of what Duo had said when he called last week. _Damnit Tro, you kiss by the book_. The Shakespeare and the nickname had more or less sealed Trowa's fate. He had never been called Tro before but he wanted to hear Duo call him that again. Often.

Trowa walked the few blocks from the parking lot to the theatre, completely turning himself around on the date. He managed to set aside his anxiety and self-doubt so that by the time he spotted Duo standing outside the theatre he actually felt a thrill of excitement and desire.

Duo looked good - he was dressed in black trousers and a black button up shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and the top button of the shirt open to reveal a tantalizing, pale triangle of flesh. Trowa found himself fixated on that spot, on Duo's clavicle and his taunt skin and - his tattoo? Trowa could just barely see the top of something dark and intricate on Duo's flesh as it disappeared under his shirt.

"Hey," Duo greeted him with a shy smile.

Trowa found himself smiling back.

"It's good to see you again," Trowa said, stopping himself from commenting on Duo's appearance. Duo was handsome in a casual, _straight_ way that made Trowa's pulse speed up and he was dressed in clothes that Trowa was practically itching to take off of him. _Settle down_, he mentally ordered himself. It wasn't going to happen - not tonight, probably not ever. In all likelihood Trowa had simply found himself a new friend. A sexy, straight friend that Trowa had fantasized about since the first night they had spoken on the phone.

"You too," Duo said, sounding genuinely happy. "I'm glad we're doing this and I, uh, I appreciate you giving me a second chance, yanno?" His smile still a hint of unease to it.

"I am too," Trowa said. He tried to think of what else he could say, to alleviate both his and Duo's anxiety, but before he could Cathy and Heero arrived.

The three of them had established a tradition a few years back where they would go to dinner together before opening night, but Trowa had cancelled on them this time, feeling anxious about meeting Duo and not at all in the mood to be teased by either of them. Seeing the two of them share a conspiratorial smirk as they approached, however, made him realize it had been foolish to think he could avoid it.

"Hey Trowa!" She greeted him brightly and kissed his cheek. "We missed you at dinner but I guess I can see why you bailed on us." She looked over at Duo and winked. "He's cute."

Duo's face turned red.

"He's just a friend," Trowa told her and glared at Heero when the other man smirked at Duo's discomfort.

"Oh, well, I'm sure you can change that," Cathy said with a laugh. She held out her hand to Duo. "Catherine Bloom."

"Duo Maxwell," he responded and shook her hand. His eyes shifted over to Heero, who was still smirking, clearly amused with the entire situation.

"Heero Yuy," he finally introduced himself. He was about to say more, and Trowa steeled himself.

Thankfully, the lights flashed inside the lobby, signalling that the play was about to begin.

"We'd better get to our seats," Cathy said and shooed them all inside.

Trowa picked up his reserved tickets and started to steer Duo away from Heero and Cathy.

"Going to join us for drinks after the show?" Heero asked, "since you cancelled on our dinner?"

God. Trowa hadn't even thought about _that_ possibility. On opening night most of the cast and crew met up at the bar across the street to celebrate. Trowa usually went, at least for a few rounds to see if he would be taking Quatre home or not. But tonight, tonight Trowa had Duo with him.

"Ah, sure?" Duo said, a question in his voice when he looked at Trowa.

"We'll see," Trowa amended, glaring once again at Heero, who merely smirked again before disappearing in the crowd.

"I didn't mean to ruin your plans for the night," Duo said as they took their seats.

"You didn't," Trowa assured him.

"Yeah but you cancelled dinner with your friends and -"

"Duo. You didn't ruin anything. I'm doing exactly what I want to."

Duo smiled at that and relaxed back into his seat.

The lights dimmed and Trowa allowed himself to set aside all of his thoughts and concerns and just enjoy the show.

Of course, as the play progressed, he realized that the show, for him, was some of what was happening onstage, but mostly what was happening on Duo's face beside him.

It was clear that Duo loved the play and was moved by it - at the end Trowa actually saw him hastily brush aside a few tears before jumping to his feet to applaud the actors as they bowed.

Trowa had to smile, once again, at Duo.

"You liked it?" He leaned over and asked the question into Duo's ear.

Duo turned to him.

"Liked it? It was amazing - I mean the story was overwhelming but Trowa, your set - it's like all my memories of childhood come to life. It's - Trowa you're brilliant."

He was completely taken aback by the obviously sincere compliment.

Trowa was proud of his design for the show - and he knew the director was pleased with it, knew that Cathy and Heero liked it, but Duo's naked appreciation for his work was fulfilling on an entirely different level.

"Thank you," Trowa said.

Duo held up his program.

"Your friends, from earlier? They designed the lights and costumes?"

Trowa nodded.

"Would you mind if we did grab some drinks with them? I want to ask them a few questions - and you, if that's okay? I just - I've never really thought about creating the _world_ of a play before and you just - you've blown my mind here, Tro."

There it was again. _Tro._

"If you want to," Trowa said, "I wasn't sure if you would want to meet them - or the cast - usually everyone goes."

Duo's eyes widened slightly and he glanced at his program again.

"So this Wufei guy will be there?"

Trowa had to smirk at that.

"Undoubtedly. He and Heero are engaged."

"Oh. _Oh_. That's cool - and Relena and Quatre?"

"Also undoubtedly in attendance - despite the fact that Heero and Wufei are engaged and Heero is undoubtedly gay Relena never misses a chance to throw herself at him."

Duo smiled slightly.

"She was great, as Eurydice - and Quatre was really good as Orpheus, but Wufei - as Hades? He was incredible. I can see why he was cast as Hades, he's got this kind of mysterious charisma to him, you know? Very seductive."

"He'll be thrilled to hear you say that," Trowa told him and Duo blushed.

"I meant, you know -"

"I know what you meant. And as an actor, he'd be thrilled to hear that you appreciated his performance."

Duo relaxed.

"Right. Sorry."

Trowa shrugged.

"You don't have to apologize. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"No, it was me. I just - I dunno, you know? I wasn't trying to say anything about him being gay and it's fine that he is, I mean, _you_ are too and I might - I don't know."

Duo's distress didn't even irritate Trowa. He could only imagine what the other man was thinking - what he was trying to work through in his own mind as he grappled with his attraction to another man and what that might mean.

By now the theatre was empty. Trowa sat down on the back of the seat in front of them.

"Duo. I've known I was gay for as long as I knew what _gay_ meant. I've never been interested in women and I've always been attracted to men. For me, that was normal and I was lucky to be around people who accepted me as I was. You've lived your whole life as a straight guy - and maybe that's what you still are. I'm not trying to push you into anything. I want you - you're an amazing guy with a great mind and you're sexy as hell and I'm not the _only_ one who kisses by the book here, but I don't _have _to have you. We can just be friends. Friends who had a life alteringly erotic kiss and that's all."

"It wasn't just _one_ kiss," Duo muttered. "I know you didn't think much of the first one but it was still incredible."

Trowa arched an eyebrow.

"I didn't think much of it because you just stood there. It wasn't until I kissed you again that you kissed me back."

"Well I wasn't really expecting it, you know? And I kind of froze. At least I knew it was coming the second time."

Trowa had to smirk.

"So you need advance notice?"

Duo shrugged.

"I guess so? Until I'm used to it? If I get used to it - fuck, this is so frustrating." He rocked back on his heels. "I don't - you probably shouldn't be wasting your time with me, Tro."

"Duo."

The other man met his gaze.

"I'm going to kiss you again."

Duo's eyes widened and Trowa reached out, putting his hands on Duo's harrow hips and maneuvering him closer so that their bodies touched. He moved slowly, giving Duo the chance to back away. When he didn't, Trowa kissed him again.

Duo was hesitant at first, holding himself still under Trowa's mouth and hands, but when Trowa gently nipped at his lower lip Duo's body shuddered and he seemed to melt into Trowa, his mouth opening and his hands reaching out to grasp Trowa's head. Trowa tried to keep the kiss light, but when Duo's tongue danced around his own he felt a surge of lust so pure and strong that he forgot to breathe for a moment. He pulled Duo closer, keeping one hand on Duo's hip and ghosting the other up Duo's back, tracing his spine through his shirt. Duo gasped against his mouth and rocked forward, bringing their groins into contact and Trowa could feel Duo's arousal against his own. He shifted forward, opening his legs, desperate for more contact and Duo complied eagerly, stepping into the space and bringing their growing erections together again. Trowa's shifted his hands downward, to Duo's tight butt and gave an experimental squeeze.

Duo jerked away, stumbling back against the seats and almost losing his balance.

Trowa mentally cursed himself. Too much, too fast. He prepared himself for the worst.

"Is there - I need to just - can I meet you in the lobby? I just want to run to the bathroom and - I just need a minute." Duo practically fled from the the theatre.

Trowa remained in the deserted theatre for a few more minutes, pulling himself together.

There was no denying that he had fucked that up - he should have kissed him and stepped away, but Duo was so passionate and responsive and felt _amazing _pressed against Trowa. He drew in a deep breath, knowing he had ruined his chances of getting Duo into bed. He hoped he could at least salvage some kind of friendship with the other man - it would be torture, but Trowa didn't doubt it would be worth it. He enjoyed Duo's company. He wanted to be with him, even if he meant if he wouldn't be _with_ him.

After a few minutes he walked into the lobby and wasn't surprised to see that Duo, standing in front of one of the show posters, looked nervous.

"I'm sorry," he said to the shorter man. "You said you trusted me and I pushed for too much. I -"

Duo held up a hand.

"No, it's not that." Duo looked over Trowa's shoulder, where the house manager and ushers were starting to tidy up the lobby. "I just wasn't expecting _that_. Any of it. Can we - do you still want to meet up with your friends for a few drinks?"

Trowa didn't, not after what had just happened between them, but he was pretty sure that the only other option on the table was saying goodnight and goodbye to Duo.

"Sure. It's just a block down - we can walk."

Duo nodded and followed him out of the theatre and onto the street, falling into step beside him.

Trowa tried to put some distance between them, but the sidewalks were narrow and a steady stream of people forced them to walk close enough that their shoulders bumped together consistently.

It reminded him of that night weeks ago, walking to their cars, when he had marvelled at the weird, instant connection he felt with Duo.

"That broken fountain - the one at the front of the stage that Eurydice played in?" Duo said into the tense silence.

"Yeah?"

"I used to play in one just like that. There was a park not far from Fort Hood, when my dad was stationed there. It was crazy, Tro. It felt like you had reached into my memories for a second there."

Trowa smiled slightly, glad that Duo wanted to talk - even if it wasn't about what had just happened. He felt a glimmer of hope that Duo had still called him Tro.

"I did a lot of research, looking at architectural styles that were popular forty or fifty years ago, especially for public works projects like parks. It's likely that whoever designed the park you played in was one of the people I researched."

"Huh. I didn't realize you did it like that. I guess I just assumed you, you know, made stuff up."

Trowa shrugged.

"Yes and no. It's good to know _what_ people expect, and shift from that to what you want to say. Everyone knows what a chair looks like, right? So If I put a foam glob onstage and call it a chair people will be confused and won't understand. But if I try to… pull something from people's memories, or their collective conscious, I can create a visual language that draws them in and then show them _this_ world."

Duo shook his head.

"I'll say it again, you're brilliant, Tro. I don't think I could have ever imagined that set - and then - I mean, how does it all get built? Who do you talk to or plan it with?"

Trowa had to laugh.

"If you're that interested I have a few books you might want to read. But I don't might explaining it to you either," he added quickly.

Duo bit his lip.

"I'd like to borrow the books, actually, and try to learn what the hell I'm trying to ask you first so that you don't feel like you're teaching me _everything_."

Trowa hesitated a moment before answering.

"I don't mind it, Duo. I'd be happy to lend you the books. I'd be happy to teach you whatever it is you're interested in."

Duo offered him a sad smile.

"Just gotta figure out what that is, first, don't I?"

They arrived at the bar and Trowa mentally steeled himself before ushering Duo inside.

The celebrations seemed to be in full swing - the cast and crew already assembled and already, judging by the volume and empty glasses, well into their second or third rounds.

Trowa spotted Cathy, Heero and Wufei in their usual corner table and was flattered that Heero had pulled up two chairs and seemed to be guarding them with his life, glaring at any of the technicians or actors who ventured close to the open seats.

"My friends are back there," Trowa gestured. "I'll grab some drinks for us if you want to join them?"

Duo nodded.

"Yeah, sounds good."

"Any beer preferences?"

Duo shrugged.

"I'm up for anything that isn't dark."

Trowa smirked.

"So you still trust me, then?"

"Of course I do. It's me I don't trust, Tro." Duo hesitated, then shrugged and walked towards the table.

Trowa made his way to the bar and ordered two Shock Tops.

By the time he made it back to the table, Wufei and Duo were in the middle of an argument while Cathy and Heero sat back, amused.

"This is why we can't meet nice people," Trowa said as he approached the table. He handed Duo his beer and sat down beside him. "Wufei attacks them instantly."

Wufei glared at him and Duo looked sheepish for a moment. Cathy laughed and Heero smirked at Wufei.

"My fault, actually," Duo said. "I told him I really liked the show - and his acting and then I said he reminded me of Tom Hiddleston, who was Loki in the Avengers?"

"And _then_ he suggested that the only reason Thor was a superhero worth mentioning was _because_ he came with Loki," Wufei muttered and shook his head. "Thor is an amazing super hero."

"No, he's not," Duo muttered as he took a sip of his beer.

Wufei glared.

"He has to overcome his _own_ strength and embrace his weaknesses to become a hero."

"Sure, but so does Batman, and he's about a million times better at being a hero than Thor."

"I didn't realize we were mixing DC and Marvel," Wufei bit out.

Duo shrugged.

"We don't have to. We can stick to Marvel. Most of the X-Men have to overcome their weaknesses - hell, even Iron Man basically tries to cripple himself with alcoholism. Thor is just a spoilt demi-god."

Wufei looked on the verge of an explosion and Heero put a hand on his arm.

"I think you've finally met someone as pathetically nerdy as you are, Wufei," Heero told him in a soothing voice. "You should be grateful."

Wufei spared him a glare and opened his mouth to argue, but Heero kissed him, effectively silencing his protest.

Trowa had to snort a laugh. He wondered just how many of their arguments ended like that - he imagined all of them.

"So," Cathy said to Duo, "what do you? Besides irritate Wufei and make Trowa smile like a lunatic all the time?"

Duo looked away from Heero and Wufei to glance at Trowa. He grinned and Trowa felt the corners of his own mouth tipping up in response.

"Well irritating Wufei is a new hobby, I guess and I didn't realize I made Trowa smile like a lunatic all the time." He turned to Cathy. "I'm a PhD candidate at Emory."

"Oh? Gorgeous and smart. I like him," she said to Trowa before turning back to Duo. "What's your field?"

"American Cultural and Intellectual History, actually my paper to get into the program was about the invention of super heroes and the transformation of American heroes during World War II."

Wufei, finally released from Heero, looked impressed.

"I suppose you are as pathetically nerdy as I," Wufei conceded.

"How does Shakespeare fit into that?" Trowa had to ask.

Duo shrugged one shoulder.

"He doesn't. When I was a kid and we moved around a lot I didn't have much in the way of stuff - just my Mom's Shakespeare anthology so…" Duo shrugged again, clearly uneasy revealing so much about himself.

Trowa nodded. The first night they had spoken Duo had mentioned that he was an army brat, and their conversation at the bar the next night had hinted that Duo's mother had probably died when he was still young.

"Well, thank god it wasn't an anthology of Agatha Christie or something," Cathy said with a bright smile.

Duo chuckled.

"Tell me about it. But how did you - how did all of you - get into this? I mean - Trowa's clearly a genius and Wufei, though misguided, seems to be really smart and you two are - I don't know but you make beautiful things happen on that stage."

Cathy laughed and leaned back in her chair.

"Oh, where to start, where to start? Well -"

Before she could start, however, Quatre wandered over, a goofy, tipsy grin on his face and his blonde hair in slight disarray, one lock falling over his forehead.

"Happy opening!" He greeted the table and leaned against Trowa's chair, putting an arm around his shoulders.

"Great job tonight, Quatre," Cathy said.

Quatre offered a small, theatrical bow.

"We all did well, I think - Relena was smashing and Wufei was damned villainous. Not to _mention_ we were costumed beautifully and lit beautifully and had an amazing set to play on." He smiled at Trowa, leaned down, and kissed him. "Thank you, as always."

Quatre pulled away and sat down on Trowa's lap. He picked up Trowa's beer, looked over the label, and took a cautious sip. He scowled and set the beer back down.

Trowa desperately wanted to get Quatre out of his lap and he needed to look at Duo and see how he was taking all of this - but he was afraid of what he might see on his face.

"Oh," Quatre seemed to notice Duo for the first time. "Sorry, I'm Quatre Winner."

"Duo Maxwell," Duo said, and even though Trowa couldn't see his face he could hear his anger.

"Are you… Cathy, is this _yours_? He's cute!"

"I'm a friend of Trowa's, actually," Duo bit out and Trowa winced, suddenly grateful that Quatre's body blocked his view of Duo. He sounded furious.

"A friend?" Quatre turned around, putting an arm around Trowa's shoulders again. "Am I interrupting anything?" He asked, a confident smile on his lips.

"No," Duo assured Quatre and Trowa finally looked at him.

Duo shrugged and offered a bitter half-smile.

"I have to be leaving anyway - early class to get to tomorrow and all that." He stood up. "It was great meeting all of you - and it was a great show." He offered a wave to the group and then started to leave.

"Wait," Trowa gently dislodged Quatre and got up to follow Duo from the bar.

Once outside, Duo kept walking.

"Duo, wait."

The other man stopped and turned.

"I had a good time, tonight. I enjoyed the play and your friends seem cool. I… I appreciate it, but I really should go."

Trowa frowned.

"Do you want to go somewhere else? Another bar or -"

"No, no. I don't want to take you away from your friends or from Quatre. You should enjoy yourself. You had a helluva amazing show open tonight and you should be with the people you want."

"Duo I _want_ you."

Duo chuckled.

"Yeah, okay, but I'm not - I'm _not_ Quatre."

"I know that."

"I mean so I'm what - a distraction before the main event or was this going to turn into some kind of threesome or what? Because - no, it doesn't matter. It's none of my business."

"Duo. You aren't a distraction and I don't want a threesome."

"Then what - I mean you two are clearly a thing, right?"

Trowa sighed.

"It's complicated."

Duo nodded.

"Yeah. Okay, well I don't want to make it even more complicated for you so I'll just ease myself out of this, if you don't mind."

"Duo, let me explain. It's not -"

"You don't have to explain it to me, Trowa. I'm not - it's your life and I'm not judging you or anything. I don't know what this was, maybe you just fooling around on the side or something - you don't seem like that kind of person, but I don't know and maybe that's just how these things go? But I guess - hell, I'm selfish or whatever. So you should just, just go and be with _him_. He's not going to freak out on you in the middle of making out or anything."

"Duo let me _talk_."

The other man froze at Trowa's tone and then smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry," he said and scratched the back of his neck.

"Can we go back in or go somewhere else and just talk?" Trowa asked.

Duo frowned.

"He's not going to be jealous?"

"I don't give a damn if he's going to be jealous," Trowa said. "I want to talk to you."

Duo shifted.

"I don't really feel like drinking more."

Trowa nodded and gestured to the theatre.

"We can go back to the theatre and talk."

Duo arched an eyebrow.

"I can make us some coffee in the green room or we can just sit. No one else is there right now."

"Ah, okay, sure. I've never been backstage before."

Trowa felt relieved at Duo's willingness to talk to him and not run away.

"I'd be happy to give you a tour."

"Maybe some other time?" Duo suggested and Trowa allowed himself to relax. Duo wouldn't be saying that if he was ready to just walk away.

Trowa walked around to the loading dock behind the theatre and unlocked the shop door. He ushered Duo inside and locked it behind them.

The shop was dark, with only the dim light above the stage door and the back hall illuminated.

"Watch your step," Trowa told Duo. Usually the shop was immaculately clean, but he didn't want to risk Duo tripping over something. A trip to the emergency room would _not _do much to improve the evening.

Duo followed him through the shop and into the back hall that connected the dressing rooms to the green room.

"Huh. It really is green," Duo remarked when Trowa led him into the room and turned on the lights, revealing the mint green walls.

"Yeah - no one really knows why we call it that, and not that many of them are still green these days in any case. Do you want coffee?"

"Not really, but if you wanted some I'll have a cup with you."

Trowa shrugged. Making coffee would give him something to do, but he didn't really want any either.

He gestured for Duo to sit on the couch in one corner of the room and pulled up a chair from the table against the far wall so that he could sit opposite Duo, giving him space and making sure they were able to look at each other.

Duo sat down, easing himself onto the couch with reluctance and Trowa felt sure that Duo was already thinking of ways to try to escape this situation again.

"Quatre and I have been involved for years," Trowa told him. "He's a great guy and we're good together but we aren't - we aren't _together_. Quatre travels a lot and even when he is in town we aren't dating. He's, I don't know, a free spirit or something and he doesn't like relationships. Sometimes we're together and sometimes he's with other people."

"And you… like that?" Duo asked cautiously.

"No. I hate it, but he's not going to change, at least not anytime soon and not for me."

"So I'm… your in between Quatre?"

"No. I only answered your ad in the first place because I'm tired of having in-between Quatre guys. I _want_ a relationship. Remember all of that stuff you said about marriage and a family?"

Duo nodded.

"I want that too. Gay men aren't _just _into casual sex, you know."

Duo flushed.

"I know - I mean, I assumed so. I didn't think you -"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." Trowa sighed. "You never implied that you thought that. But you _do_ seem to think that I can't want to be married and have a family."

"Well you'd have to get married up north," Duo murmured, his brows drawn together, "and you could adopt - I'm not sure what kind of legal hurdles there are for same sex couples down here in Georgia. I could look it up and -"

It was amusing how Duo could start himself down a train of thought and just follow it.

"Duo. I'm not proposing to you."

Duo chuckled.

"Right. No. I get that. I'm sorry."

"I answered your ad because I liked the _Lear_ quote. And then we spent hours talking on the phone and I thought you were _nothing_ like Quatre in the best way possible. And then our date -"

"Was a disaster?"

Trowa shrugged.

"Yes and no. I had a great time until the very, very end. I needed it - I needed to see that I _could_ be with someone who wasn't Quatre."

Duo winced.

"And then I turned out to be straight."

Trowa shrugged again.

"Did you though?" He had to ask. Duo's jealousy over Quatre had yet again renewed Trowa's hope.

"When your friends - Wufei and Heero - when they kissed, it was cute. And kind of sexy." Duo sighed. "And when Quatre kissed _you_ it pissed me off."

"And when I kissed you?" Trowa had to ask.

"When you kissed me I forgot how to breathe, Tro." Duo sat forward on the couch. "I really, really have no clue what I'm doing or what I'm feeling or thinking. All of this is just - I'd never even considered being with another guy."

"Does it scare you? The thought of being with another guy? I scared you, earlier, didn't I?"

Duo's face turned completely red.

"You didn't scare me, Trowa. You almost made me come in my pants. And all you did was kiss me and grab my ass and I could _feel_ your dick against mine and Jesus. I felt like a fucking teenager." Duo ran his hands through his hair, dislodging the ponytail.

Trowa's tongue felt thick and heavy in his mouth. Whatever he had been expecting from Duo, it hadn't been _that_ confession.

"I guess I should apologize?" Trowa finally offered, though he felt absolutely no remorse.

Duo looked up, half of his mouth turned up in a smirk.

"Yeah, you sound really torn up about it."

Trowa had to chuckle. He stood up and Duo reflexively did the same.

"I'm going to kiss you again, Duo."

"Okay, Tro," Duo agreed, a grin on his lips.

But it was Duo who stepped forward and pressed his lips against Trowa's. It was Duo who pulled Trowa close and wrapped his arms around Trowa's shoulders. It was Duo who teased open Trowa's mouth and had Trowa aching for more in just seconds.

Kissing Duo was like playing with fire - he was scorching hot and seemed to fill Trowa's entire body with a fierce need for more.

Trowa could feel himself growing hard and he could feel Duo's erection as well. He decided, as much as _he_ wouldn't mind making Duo come in his pants just from kissing him and groping him, Duo probably didn't actually want that. He eased back from the kiss slowly.

"What are you doing Saturday?" Trowa asked him.

Duo looked momentarily confused.

"Saturday?"

"Yes. Do you have any plans?"

"Oh. No."

"The Yankees are playing the Red Sox at home," Trowa said. "Do you want to come over and watch the game? I can make pizza for us."

"From scratch?" Duo asked, sounding impressed.

"Yeah, from scratch." Trowa reached out and tucked a strand of Duo's loose hair behind one ear. Duo leaned into the touch and Trowa had to kiss him again.

"That sounds good," Duo said when they pulled apart again.

"What?" Trowa was on the verge of pushing them back onto the couch, to hell with embarrassing each other with stains on their pants.

"Saturday. The game. Pizza."

"Oh. Yeah."

Duo chuckled.

"I should go, before it gets any harder."

Trowa arched an eyebrow and glanced down at the bulge in Duo's trousers.

"How much harder does it get?" He had to ask.

Duo blushed.

"No, I meant, harder to leave. I, it, uh - I'm not -"

"Too much. It's fine." Trowa gestured to the door. "Mind if I walk you to your car?"

"Yeah, that's good, I just need a minute or two to channel thoughts about Betty White first so I don't walk around in public with a hard on."


	4. Chapter 4

Standard Disclaimers: Not mine.

Warnings: angst, language, yaoi

Pairings: 2x3, 3x4, 1x5, past 1x3, past 2xH

_The Road Not Taken_

Part Four

Duo decided to pick up beer and dessert on his way over to Trowa's apartment on Saturday. He grabbed a six pack of Shock Top. He had liked the beer and had liked it even more when Quatre Winner didn't. He knew that was stupid and petty, but seeing the incredibly handsome blond man in Trowa's lap had irritated him. It had also made him realize that yes, he was gay. Or at least not as straight as he had previously supposed. There was no way he could consider himself straight after having to fight off the urge to shove Quatre off Trowa and kiss him in front of the other man. Of course, he hadn't, and he doubted he ever would.

He had been fighting off fantasies about Trowa since their first kiss, but over the past few days he had slowly given in and that morning, as he showered, he wondered just what it would feel like to have Trowa touch him. Trowa had large hands, with long, elegant fingers. Larger hands than Duo's and his palms were rough with callouses. How would Trowa's hands feel on Duo's naked skin? On his cock?

Duo started to stroke himself, imagining Trowa's hands on him. Would Trowa grip him tightly? Would he work him fast or slow? Would Trowa suck him off? Would Duo suck off Trowa?

It was that last thought that sent Duo over the edge and he came with a strangled gasp.

_Fuck_.

He _wanted_ to suck Trowa's cock. He wanted to know what it felt like and how it tasted.

Duo swallowed hard and waited for his heart rate to slow down before he finished his shower.

Okay, so he wanted Trowa. Or at least, he wanted to jack off thinking about Trowa. But did he want more? Did he want sex, actual anal sex?

He remembered the way that Trowa had squeezed his ass and he felt himself start to get hard again. It was one thing to have Trowa feel him up, but did he really want his cock inside of him?

Duo had started searching the internet for information on anal sex. He had come across various statistics that implied that some men didn't enjoy it - that it was painful.

Was he just supposed to get used to it hurting?

That thought successfully put his burgeoning erection to rest and Duo turned off the shower and dried himself off.

He spent the afternoon catching up on his reading list and managed to put thoughts about Trowa and cocks at the back of his mind until he was in the grocery store trying to figure out what kind of dessert to get for them.

Trowa was making pizza, so cannolis seemed like an obvious choice, but of course, their shape was distracting.

He settled on two slices of peanut butter cheesecake - Trowa had mentioned a love for both peanut butter and cheese cake at some point during their first date - and fought against all thoughts of cannolis and cream fillings.

When he arrived at Trowa's apartment he was greeted by the subject of his fantasies with a grin. Of course, Duo had to laugh at his appearance.

Trowa was wearing a faded Yankees t-shirt that fit him well, showing off his trim physique, but it was the dusting of flour across his nose that had Duo chuckling.

"You've got flour on your face," Duo explained when Trowa gave him a questioning look.

"Oh." Trowa's cheeks colored just slightly and he rubbed at his face.

"No," Duo said and handed Trowa the grocery bags with the beer and dessert before reaching up to brush the flour off his nose. "There ya go."

This close up, Duo noticed that Trowa's green eyes had small flecks of gold around the irises. He swallowed hard.

"Hey," he greeted Trowa.

"Hey yourself," Trowa responded and kissed him, a light, fairly platonic kiss that nonetheless left Duo off kilter.

"What's in here?" Trowa asked, hefting the bags.

"Beer and dessert."

"Great, I'll put them in the fridge. Now that you're here I can put the pizza in the oven… and first pitch should be in about twenty minutes."

"Awesome."

Trowa went into the kitchen and Duo took the time to admire his apartment. Trowa seemed to favor a very earthy vibe - dark wood floors, brown and green furniture and cream colored walls. The furniture was sparse but looked to be in good shape, a few of the pieces clearly antiques.

"Can I get you anything?" Trowa asked, coming back into the room.

Duo shrugged.

"No, I'm good for now. I like your shirt," he had to add.

Trowa smirked and plucked at the shirt, pulling it up just enough for a moment that Duo could see his tan stomach and the faint trail of hair that disappeared into his jeans.

Duo's mouth went dry. He had no idea why, but the sight of that trail of hair sent a jolt of lust right to his cock.

"Thanks," Trowa said, releasing the shirt. "It's old, but one of my favorites."

"It fits you. I mean, obviously it fits you," Duo felt like a moron. "It suits you, I guess."

Trowa smirked at him.

"Are you nervous?"

"Nervous? What's there to be nervous about? The Yankees will have this in the bag." Duo arched an eyebrow. "Unless this is all just a ploy? Did you invite me over for dinner and a baseball game as some kind of elaborate scheme to get me alone?"

"Do I need to have an elaborate scheme to get you to agree to be alone with me?" Trowa asked, seemingly half in jest and half in seriousness.

"No," Duo admitted. "Hell, Tro, all you have to do at this point is say my name and I can't think of anything else but you." He felt like inserting his foot into his own mouth. Too much honesty. Once again.

But Trowa's smirk turned warm.

"Duo."

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to kiss you again."

Duo rolled his eyes.

"You can probably stop giving me advance notice now, Tro."

"No one has ever called me that before."

"What? Tro? Er - I'm sorry. I didn't even, does it bother you? I can go back to Trowa? It's an awesome name. I just -"

Trowa silenced him with a kiss and Duo kissed him back. He had been thinking about doing this ever since Wednesday night, and now that it was happening again he just wanted to focus on the sensations Trowa aroused in him.

He allowed Trowa to guide them back towards the couch.

"Is this okay?" Trowa asked him.

"Is what okay?" Duo asked, confused. "This? The kissing, hell yes."

"I meant is it okay to move it to a more horizontal form."

"Oh. Uh, yeah. I'd like that."

Trowa smirked and eased himself back on the couch, pulling Duo down on top of him.

"Good."

Trowa kissed him again and the sensation of their bodies in contact from head to toe combined with the intense, wet heat of Trowa's mouth was considerably more of a turn on than anything Duo had fantasized about in the shower that morning.

Even through both their clothes Duo could feel the hard, trim muscles of Trowa's body. He marvelled at just how much that turned him on. Previously he had only felt the softer curves of a woman's body and he had _enjoyed_ that, but it just didn't compare to the hard planes of Trowa's chest or the muscles in his legs that flexed when Duo shifted against him.

Duo could feel Trowa's erection and he shifted again, rubbing his own against the other man and causing both of them to groan.

Then there was that - the fact that the feeling of another guy's hard cock was this amazing.

Trowa's hands were resting on Duo's back, kneading the flesh there and Duo thrust again, experimenting with the feeling. It was incredible. He was grateful that he had worn thinner jeans, because the friction they created between his skin and Trowa's body was amazing and he doubted he would have felt as much in a thicker pain.

He pulled away from Trowa's mouth and kissed his way across his jaw to his ear.

"You feel incredible, Tro," Duo confessed.

Trowa nipped at the side of his neck, a sharp combination of pain and pleasure that made Duo groan.

"Oh fuck, Tro!"

He thrust against Trowa again, a reflexive jerk of his hips at the sensation.

Trowa hissed.

"If you do that again I'm going to come, Duo," Trowa warned, his voice thready with desire.

Duo kissed him and he couldn't help himself, he thrust against Trowa again and again, delighting in the way that Trowa's hands tightened on him, urging him onward. The frantic thrusting of Trowa's tongue in his mouth only heightened his arousal more and Duo tried to swallow him whole, amazed at the heat and hardness that seemed to surround him.

And then Trowa did something with his hips, rotating and thrusting them upwards in a way that made Duo lose complete control of himself. He came with a startled gasp.

He eased away from Trowa, feeling at once sated and horribly embarrassed.

"I -" he started.

"Don't you dare apologize," Trowa said firmly. He moved out from under Duo so that they were sitting side by side on the couch.

"I just didn't really plan on that happening," Duo confessed. As much as he might have _dreamed _about it, he hadn't thought he would actually be able to do it.

Trowa smirked.

"Good thing that I'm not the one who needs advance notices, then," he teased Duo as he stood up.

Duo's eyes were drawn to the wet spot staining the front of Trowa's jeans and he realized that he had a matching spot on his own.

Trowa smirked.

"I have some sweats you could borrow if you want me to wash those for you?" He offered.

Duo nodded.

"I would appreciate that." He looked at the television to see the first pitch being thrown. He chuckled. "Jesus that didn't take long, did it?"

"We'll try to draw it out a bit longer next time," Trowa promised, kissing him again.

-o-

Trowa showed up at Heero and Wufei's house on Sunday night for their weekly dinner with two bottles of wine and every intention of drinking them both by himself.

"Uh oh. Homo-hetero relations not going so well?" Wufei asked when he greeted him.

Trowa glared.

"They're fine," he growled.

"Of course they are. That's why you look ready to kill." Wufei took the wine from him. "Heero's out back by the grill. I'll grab a few glasses for us."

Trowa walked through the house, amazed yet again at how perfectly it fit his two friends, and outside to the small backyard that Wufei spent hours working in each week.

"You look pissed," Heero greeted him with a cocky grin.

"His straight boyfriend isn't giving him any," Wufei said, walking out and handing Trowa a glass of wine.

Trowa glared.

"He can't be straight _and_ be my boyfriend, can he?" He demanded.

Heero shrugged.

"Is he gay?"

"He doesn't know yet."

"And are you two dating?"

"I guess."

"Then he's your straight boyfriend," Heero concluded and accepted a glass of wine from Wufei.

"How have things been going with him?" Wufei asked.

"Good," Trowa admitted with a sigh. "Actually good. He kind of just… accepted my Quatre baggage."

"Then he's a saint," Wufei mused.

"Or straight," Heero muttered.

"He's kind of a cock tease, though," Trowa mused. "He's not trying to be but he is."

Wufei arched an eyebrow.

"How so?"

"He wants it - he's said as much so don't get all pissy on me," he added when Wufei started to look angry, "but he's still afraid or intimidated or something. I don't know."

"So, nothing between you two except kissing?" Heero asked.

"No," Trowa sighed. "We fooled around on Saturday - with our clothes on and my hands on their best damn behaviour," he added, remembering how hard it had been to just let Duo set the pace as they rubbed against each other. He had ached to touch the other man's penis, to feel it's heavy weight in his hands or his mouth, and it had been torture to just rub against him and get off like horny high school boys _twice_.

"So he's still straight."

Trowa took a sip of his wine.

"I don't know. He thought you two kissing was hot - by the way - so he can't be _that_ straight because the two of you kissing is one of the most homoerotic things I can think of."

Heero and Wufei smirked.

"You can flirt with us all you want now, Trowa, but your chance for a threesome passed when Heero proposed."

"And I shall regret missing that opportunity every day of my life," Trowa said solemnly, though in truth he did regret it, a little. Heero was amazing in bed, and he could only imagine that Wufei was as well. He often wondered what it would be like to be part of such an intense partnership as they had. It was nothing like what he had had with Quatre.

"At least your straight boyfriend makes you happy," Heero mused. "Happier than Quatre ever did," he added, as if reading Trowa's brain.

"Can we please stop calling him my straight boyfriend?" Trowa asked.

Wufei and Heero shook their heads in the negative.

"Nope," Wufei said, "it's too funny to stop now."

Trowa sighed.

"So you fooled around - hands free - not enough for you?" Wufei guessed.

"It's not that it wasn't enough. It's the fact that it felt amazing to be with him and I'm pretty sure he's never going to want to fuck me or let me fuck him."

"Well, that's what happens when you try to date a straight guy," Heero said, earning glares from both Wufei and Trowa.

-o-

On Thursday night Duo showed up at Trowa's house with Thai takeout, intent on having a conversation about sex and trying to figure out just how far he would be able to go. He wanted Trowa. He wanted to touch him and taste him and feel him, but he was also more than a little scared about the idea of Trowa putting his cock in his ass.

They had finished dinner and were in the process of cleaning up when Duo broke down and just spilled his fears to Trowa.

"This whole sex thing, it kind of freaks me out. I mean, what if it hurts and I'm not - I don't think I'd be able to get off on the whole pain thing."

Trowa shrugged.

"You can always top me, if you prefer."

Duo frowned.

"You're not - I mean, you're a bottom?"

Trowa smirked.

"No. I'm not a top either. Some men prefer to do one or the other, but I enjoy both."

"Oh."

"There are other ways to have sex, Duo, if you aren't comfortable with anal sex."

"You mean oral sex and masterbation?"

Throw shrugged one shoulder.

"Yes, but I meant frot."

"Frot?"

"Frottage - we've already done a bit of it I suppose, with our clothes on. Instead of any kind of penetration you rub against each other."

Duo frowned.

"And that works?"

Trowa smirked.

"Want me to show you?"

"Ah…" Duo didn't think he was ready to go that far yet.

"I meant a video," Trowa soothed him. "On the internet."

"Oh. Sorry. Yeah?"

Trowa left Duo alone on the couch and went into his bedroom to retrieve his laptop. When he came back he sat down beside Duo.

Duo watched Trowa pull up a webpage and made a mental note of the address. So far he had limited his gay male porn searches to just images and most of those were of improbably large cocks shoved up another guy's rectum. He found them almost as disturbing as he found them erotic.

Trowa queued up a video and set the laptop on the couch cushion beside Duo, angling it so they could both watch it. Trowa put one hand on the back of the couch, just behind Duo's head, and settled back.

Duo tried to hold himself upright and still, but felt awkward and he leaned back against slightly Trowa instead. The other man shifted closer, pressing his front to Duo's back.

"Try not to overanalyze this. Just watch it and enjoy it," Trowa said, his breath hot on Duo's neck.

Duo nodded, his mouth suddenly dry.

The video featured two men, one blond and one a redhead - college roommates as it turned out - who were forced to share a shower together. Both had lean builds and their hard cocks were an impressive size, but not nearly as huge as some of the images Duo had seen. The two men started to lather each other up until one dropped the soap and came into contact with his roommates hard cock. He started to suck him off and Duo felt his own cock start to get hard. The man stopped after a few minutes, releasing his roommate with an audible pop that made Duo groan out loud.

"Do you mind?" Trowa asked.

"Huh?"

Trowa rested one hand over the tent in Duo's pants.

"May I?"

"Uh, yeah?" Duo swallowed hard as Trowa undid the zipper on his khakis and he shifted his hips, helping Trowa pull them down enough so that the other man could reach inside and grasp his erection.

"Watch them, not me," Trowa admonished Duo when he looked down at Trowa's large hand engulfing him.

"Sorry," Duo moaned when Trowa tugged on him.

Trowa kissed the side of his neck.

"You don't have to apologize. Just watch."

It was hard to concentrate on the porn with Trowa stroking him, but Duo tried.

The two men were now covered in soap and kissing each other. The red head pushed the blond against the shower wall and started to move against him, trapping their cocks between their bodies and thrusting together. They moaned and Duo found himself doing the same.

He leaned back against Trowa, desperate to feel more of his body as his hand continued to work Duo's erection.

"Do you like it?" Trowa asked. Duo wasn't sure if he was asking about the video or the hand job.

"Yes," Duo breathed. It felt amazing to have Trowa's strong grip on his erection and Duo realized that this should be freaking him out. Another guy giving him a hand job while they watched gay porn together was about as gay as Duo could think of being. He shifted back against Trowa again and felt the sharp stab of his hard cock against the base of his spine. Okay, _now_ it was as gay as Duo could think of being because he wasn't at all freaked out by that either.

Trowa nibbled on his ear.

"We could try it sometime, if you want." Trowa offered it in such an offhand, calm manner. It was completely at odds with the way his hand was confidently, firmly working Duo's erection.

"God yes. Yes, please. Trowa - Tro, I'm going to come."

"Good. Come for me Duo."

And he did, just as the two men in the porn did, hot, cream colored semen splashing over Trowa's hand and onto Duo's khakis.

"Oh my god," Duo breathed. He turned enough so that he could kiss Trowa. "Thank you."

"My pleasure," Trowa assured him before chuckling. "I think you might want to start bringing a change of clothes with you, though."

Duo looked down at the semen on his pants.

"Jesus. Yeah, I guess so."


	5. Chapter 5

Standard Disclaimers: Not mine.

Warnings: angst, language, yaoi

Pairings: 2x3, 3x4, 1x5, past 1x3, past 2xH

A/N: Thank you everyone who as taken the time to review. I promise I will respond to those (at least everyone who signed in). I appreciate those so much. I cannot even begin to tell you how nice it is to see that folks can still appreciate me after all this time. You are the best. And yes, I mean _you_.

_The Road Not Taken_

Part Five

"So he's still straight?" Wufei asked.

Trowa glared at him across the table.

It was Sunday and he was once again suffering through the combined torture of Wufei and Heero teasing him about Duo.

"His Kinsey score is moving in a good direction," Trowa assured him and Wufei smirked.

"Good. You don't seem as homicidal this week."

Trowa had to roll his eyes at that.

While he was still halfway convinced that Duo would never be comfortable with the idea of anal sex, considering the events of Thursday night he was feeling hopeful that he _might_ be able to get Duo in bed with him after all. Maybe frottage would be all he would ever be comfortable with - but at this point Trowa was ready to call it an achievement if Duo touched his dick just once.

"You also don't seem thrilled," Heero had to point out, interrupting Trowa's thoughts.

He shrugged.

"I like him."

"But?" Heero fished.

Trowa sighed.

"But he _is_ my straight boyfriend. I'm fine with it - with fooling around with him for now but I just feel confident that in a few days or a few weeks he's going to realize that he's letting another guy touch his dick and freak out."

"So then he becomes a funny story Heero and I get to tease you with in the future," Wufei suggested.

"No," Heero said. He was looking at Trowa in his typically incisive manner. "Duo's never going to be a funny story we can tease him with."

Trowa shook his head in agreement. Of course Heero could see the real problem here.

"You're in love with him."

Trowa nodded and swallowed hard. He felt like an idiot.

"Oh come on! You've been on what - four dates? _If_ we count the first one when he thought you were straight?" Wufei demanded.

"Wufei," Heero said, his tone sharp.

"No. This is just - Trowa. Come _on_. He's your rebound guy from Quatre. You don't know him that well and he's _straight_. You're not in love with him. You barely even -"

"How long did it take you to fall in love with Heero, Wufei?" Trowa snapped. "An hour? Maybe twenty minutes? You two had one fight about _Star Wars_ and you've been inseparable ever since. Don't even try to lecture me about how long it takes to fall in love with someone."

Wufei glared at him.

"That's different. I'd known Heero for two years before we had that fight - I'd known him the entire time you two were together. We were friends first."

"Maybe so. But I can't stop thinking about him. I like spending time with him - I like talking to him about _anything_. Just being with him is amazing."

"Jesus, he's turning _you_ straight," Wufei muttered.

"Fuck you," Trowa snapped, angry that Wufei was giving him zero support in this, angry too that at this point - if Duo decided to back down from any kind of intimate relationship, Trowa was far enough gone that he would agree to it and just be his friend.

Wufei opened his mouth to saying something else, but Heero put a hand on his shoulder.

"Obviously we want you to be happy and we like seeing you smile more, but it's not exactly destined to work out for you, is it?" Heero said, mediating between them, as usual.

"Screw destiny," Trowa muttered. "You're the one who is always talking about following my emotions anyway - and my emotions tell me that I want to be with him."

Heero and Wufei exchanged looks.

"When do you leave for Phoenix?" Heero asked, referencing Trowa's next gig, designing scenery for a theatre in Phoenix.

"Friday," Trowa sighed, grateful for the seeming change in subject.

"And you're gone for three weeks?"

Trowa nodded.

"Then that seems like the perfect time to get some perspective on this. And for Duo to have the time and space to do some thinking of his own."

Trowa frowned.

"You want me to give him an ultimatum."

"No," Heero shook his head. "Just use this as a chance to put yourself out there and tell him where you stand on this - I'm not saying you should tell him that you're in love with him - but it might _help_ if he knew what you expected out of this."

Trowa sighed.

It seemed like a logical thing to do.

But what if Duo ran screaming at Trowa's expectations?

-o-

"Do you mind if I call you?" Duo had to ask, feeling like a teenaged girl.

Trowa looked up from packing his suitcase to arch an eyebrow at him.

"While I'm gone?"

Duo nodded.

"I hope you will," Trowa said.

It was Thursday night and Trowa had invited Duo over for dinner, currently cooking in the oven, while he finished packing for his trip.

Duo found himself suddenly and strangely nervous as he sat gingerly on the edge of Trowa's spacious king sized bed and watched the other man rifle through his drawers and his closet. He had not been in Trowa's bedroom before, and somehow he had not imagined his first time in the room would be like this.

"I like your mattress," he said, experimenting with the give. It felt a hell of a lot better than his own.

Trowa arched an eyebrow.

"Want to try it out?" Trowa asked.

Duo felt his cheeks heat up. He hadn't meant the comment in a suggestive way at all, but now that Trowa mentioned it…

He leaned back on his elbows and winked, trying his best to look seductive.

Trowa set his suitcase down on the floor and walked around the bed to stand between Duo's legs. He leaned forward and kissed him.

Duo kissed him back, reveling in the heat of Trowa's mouth and the feel of his tongue. He realized this would be the last chance he got to touch Trowa for almost a month. He reached out and pulled Trowa down on top of him, upsetting his balance and sending them both back onto the bed.

Trowa moved away from Duo's mouth, kissing his way across his jaw and down his neck before nipping at his pulsepoint.

Duo hissed at the pleasure and pain and he could feel Trowa smirk against his skin.

He allowed his own hands to roam towards Trowa's ass and he experimentally squeezed the firm globes through Trowa's khakis. Trowa groaned and shifted his hips against Duo's and Duo arched up to meet him.

"Maybe I should take these off for you," Trowa suggested, pulling back from Duo and resting his hands on the fly of his jeans. "So you don't stain them.

"Oh, okay," Duo swallowed hard. Trowa had given him a hand job last week, but neither of them had been undressed - they had just pushed Duo's pants down far enough for Trowa to reach into his boxers.

He lifted his hips and Trowa tugged the jeans off. Duo laid back down on the bed, feeling inexplicably nervous.

Trowa ran his hands up Duo's calves, knees and thighs before skimming over the top of Duo's boxers and resting on the elastic waistband.

"These too?" Trowa asked, his green gaze serious.

"I, uh, I think I'd rather keep those on," Duo admitted.

Trowa nodded and crawled back on top of him before kissing him again.

With the barrier of Duo's pants gone his erection felt almost too sensitive, and when Trowa's hand snaked between their bodies to caress him through the thin cotton he moaned at the sensation.

"I like the way you feel," Trowa whispered against Duo's mouth.

"I like the way _you_ feel," Duo responded and kissed him.

When they broke for air Trowa was smirking.

"I meant I like the way your dick feels," Trowa told him.

"Oh. I, uh, thank you?"

Trowa chuckled, a deep, throaty sound that pushed Duo even closer to orgasm.

"You're welcome," Trowa said. "I also like the way you say my name when you're close to coming."

"Yeah? Well if you keep doing that I think I oblige you, Tro." Duo moaned and felt his hips arching upwards to been Trowa's hand.

"Do you want me to do something differently?" Trowa asked him. "Do you like it harder or faster?"

"I, uh, maybe a little harder? But it's really nice like - oh Jesus _fuck_, Tro!" Duo felt himself explode in Trowa's hand. He didn't know what Trowa had done, but when he had tightened his grip on Duo's cock he had rotated his hand or done something else but it had brought Duo to an immediate and intense orgasm.

"Oh my god." Duo collapsed back on the bed and tried to catch his breathe.

"Are you okay?" Trowa asked, his voice amused.

Duo turned his head to look at him, taking in his satisfied smirk.

"Yeah, you know, just recovering from probably the best orgasm I've ever head. I'll be fine in a day or so."

Trowa arched an eyebrow.

"Really?"

"No, I just need a minute."

"No, I meant that was _really_ probably the best orgasm you've ever had?"

Duo nodded. He was finally able to feel his heart rate start to slow.

He suddenly realized that maybe he shouldn't have admitted that.

"I, ah, well, now I just feel stupid."

"Don't feel stupid." Trowa leaned down to kiss him again. "I'm happy I could do that for you."

"Well, what about you?" Duo asked. He propped himself up on his elbows and looked at the noticeable bulge in Trowa's khakis.

Trowa kissed him again.

"I'm satisfied with getting you off, Duo."

"But -"

"Unless you feel up to giving _me_ a hand job?" Trowa asked and the question brought Duo up short. He actually did want to - he wanted to touch Trowa's cock and he wanted to get him off but he felt confident that his own skills were no match for Trowa's.

"It's okay," Trowa assured him and got up from the bed. "Maybe some other time."

"No, I -"

"Duo. I'm not trying to push you into anything. It's our last night together for a while, so let's just enjoy what you're comfortable with."

Duo frowned but nodded.

"Would you like to borrow a pair of boxer briefs? I'm sorry, I don't have any boxers."

"Er, would you mind?" Duo wasn't in love with the idea of sitting around in wet boxers for the rest of the night.

"No, I won't mind. I planned on doing an extra load of laundry later tonight anyway. I can wash those for you and get them back to you next time I see you."

"Yeah, okay. Thank you."

Trowa pulled a pair of dark boxer briefs from one of his drawers and passed them to Duo.

"The chicken should be just about ready. I'll let you get dressed."

Trowa left him alone and Duo shucked out of the dirty boxers. He pulled on Trowa's underwear and took a moment to adjust himself. They felt completely different than his normal boxers and he found himself actually liking the way the boxer briefs fit. He walked over to the mirror and looked at himself.

The underwear molded to his body in a way that was infinitely more attractive than ordinary boxers and Duo made a mental note to buy a few of these for when Trowa got back from Phoenix.

-o-

It was almost midnight by the time Trowa arrived at the housing the theatre had arranged for him during his stay in Phoenix. It was an apartment over the director's garage. After two days of driving he could think of nothing better than just throwing his bags into the room and passing out in the bath. He wasn't as young as he used to be, Trowa realized. It had been a mistake to drive to drive all the way to Phoenix without stopping and his body was punishing him for it.

Of course, going out for drinks with the director and his partner probably hadn't helped - while the buzz was pleasant he was _not_ a big fan of being awake this late.

He started to run a bath and while the tub was filling he checked his messages. He had two missed calls and several texts from Duo.

Shit. He had promised to call Duo when he arrived in Phoenix but had completely forgotten. He looked at the time stamp on the last text - only an hour ago - and wondered if Duo was still awake.

Trowa decided to risk it and called him back.

As he waited for Duo to pick up he stripped and got into the bath. The hot water felt amazing.

"Hello?" It sounded like Trowa had woken Duo up.

"I'm sorry I forgot to call you earlier. I just saw your texts."

"S'kay. Just wanted to know you made it," Duo said around a yawn.

"I did. Want me to let you go back to sleep?"

"No, no. I'm up. I mean, we can talk, if you want."

"Are you sure? I can let you go."

"No. It's nice hearing your voice."

Trowa had to smile as he thought the same thing. He had been incredibly attracted to Duo's voice, that first night when he had called.

"I heard something on NPR that made me think about you," Trowa said. He leaned back in the tub and put Duo on speaker before setting the phone down on the edge.

"Oh really? Something about straight guys falling for incredibly hot gay men?"

Trowa chuckled.

"No. I was in Texas so I'm not sure that would have found a good demo. It was about this guy, Vile Rat, who worked for the embassy in Libya."

"Oh yeah, Sean Smith. He was an Eve player."

Duo had confessed last week that he liked to play video games and while Trowa had never had more than a passing interest in gaming, he had enjoyed hearing Duo talk about video games.

"They talked about the memorial for him on Eve."

"Yeah, it was kind of amazing, actually. All of the factions sort of came together - I never really got into Eve so I didn't know him or anything, but that sounds like it was a great NPR story. I started reading that _Making the Scene_ book you lent me - about the history of design? It's pretty awesome so far."

Trowa smiled at Duo's enthusiasm. He knew his career was hard for some people to understand, and Duo's interest and intuitive understanding of it was a nice change for Trowa. He leaned back and let Duo talk, answering the questions he posed, but really just enjoying the sound of his voice.

The water had gone cold by the time he realized that he had fallen asleep.

"You there, Tro?" Duo sounded exhausted.

"Yeah. I'm sorry. I fell asleep."

"Well that makes me feel boring as hell," Duo joked.

"No, you aren't. Not at all. It's just been a long few days."

"No kidding. I'm going to let you go now. Do you want to talk… tomorrow? Or Monday?"

"Tomorrow sounds good. Good night Duo."

"Good night, Tro. I miss you."

-o-


	6. Chapter 6

Standard Disclaimers: Not mine.

Warnings: angst, language, yaoi

Pairings: 2x3, 3x4, 1x5, past 1x3, past 2xH

_The Road Not Taken_

Part Six

As Spring semester drew to a close Duo found himself having to comfort the undergrads in the classes he TA'd for as well as trying to juggle his _own_ work load. He had four papers to finish and was still trying to prep for his thesis, which he would begin in earnest in the fall. He found himself spending most of his nights in the library, and felt a moment of gratitude that Trowa was gone for most of April - if he had been in town Duo had no doubt that he would have wanted to set aside his work and spend time with Trowa instead.

Of course, late nights in the library meant that he holed himself in the graduate study lounge and talked to Trowa while he tried to assemble a reading list for his thesis.

He found himself grateful for this three week break from their physical relationship - it gave him the chance to get to know Trowa better and to revel in the sound of his voice without getting distracted by his mouth and wanting to kiss him.

Duo wondered if eventually it would be easier to be around Trowa and _not_ think about kissing him. Part of him hoped so while another part hoped not. Duo had never felt quite this way about anyone except for Hilde - when they had dated he had wanted to spend every moment with her. He felt the same way about Trowa now, but Trowa seemed content to seeing him only once or twice a week.

Now that he was in Phoenix, however, they spoke every night and texted often during the day. It was great for Duo, and he wondered if he would be able to convince Trowa to either continue their nightly conversations or at least spend more time together. Hopefully he could talk him into both.

Because as much as he enjoyed talking to Trowa every night, he missed touching him. It was crazy to think that two months ago he had considered himself to be straight, with zero interest in guys and every one of his future plans focused around marrying the woman of his dreams and raising a family. And now he found himself taking study breaks to look up gay porn on the internet.

He had bookmarked the website Trowa had used to show him the frottage clip, and over the last weeks he had found himself visiting the site fairly often. Unfortunately, nearly half of the time he found clips he enjoyed while the other half of the time he saw things that scared the shit out of him. He had absolutely no idea what Trowa was into, he realized, and no idea what to expect if he did try to progress their physical relationship.

Duo had enjoyed himself with Trowa, but he couldn't deny the fact that he wanted more - even if he still wasn't entirely sure what _more_ was. He knew he wanted to touch him, to feel his cock and his body and make Trowa come with the same intensity that Duo did, but he also knew he was way out of his league. Trowa was older, experienced, and amazing. Duo had never had complaints from Hilde or Sylvia or any of the other women he had been in years, but he seriously doubted that his skills would translate to pleasuring _Trowa._

So Duo fell back into his old habits and decided to focus on research. He still spent hours on his actual research and graded papers for his professors, but he managed to carve out some time at night to sit up late and watch porn or read erotica, taking notes on a pad of paper with hand even while he often masturbated with the other.

And of course, that's how Hilde found him one night when she barged into his room unannounced.

She stood in the doorway, staring at him with her mouth open.

Duo froze, one hand still around his cock, the other holding a pen over an open notebook, and the sights and sounds of two sailors fucking on his laptop.

"I, er, um… I'm just going to go and…" Hilde closed the door and Duo fell backwards on his bed, completely mortified.

He took a moment to collect himself and then closed his laptop, set aside his notebook, and found his sweatpants. He went into the bathroom and rinsed the lotion off of his palm before going to look for Hilde.

He found her rifling through the fridge.

"Hilde -"

"No, um, you don't need to say anything. I was just having trouble opening the wine but I'm going to switch to liquor anyway," she pulled away from the fridge, a bottle of rum in one hand and a can of coke in the other. "So it's okay."

"Hilde -"

"Really, you don't need to say anything. In fact, can we please just forget that that ever happened?"

"Yes," Duo agreed. "I'd love to do that, but I think we both know that's not going to happen."

Hilde poured out half of the coke, filled it back up with rum, and took a sizeable gulp before looking at him.

"So, is there, um, _any_ kind of rational explanation for what I just saw? I mean, were you watching gay porn, taking notes _and_ masterbating?"

"I like to multi-task," Duo said defensively, but he knew his face was flaming red.

"Gay porn, though, right? That was definitely two male sailors, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, yeah it was."

"Is this something new you and Sylvia are experimenting with or are you writing a paper or…?"

"No, it's not for a paper. And Sylvia and I broke up almost six weeks ago," Duo said.

Hilde frowned.

"Then who have you been going out on dates with?"

"Huh?"

"For the past… six weeks, you keep going out random nights and coming home late with a goofy look on your face. Well, except for the last three weeks, when you just crawl home looking exhausted."

"I've been staying late at the library most nights these past few weeks," Duo explained.

"And _before_ that?"

Duo sighed. It was now or never.

"I've been dating Trowa. The guy who answered my classified ad and I'm watching the porn and taking notes so I can figure out what the hell I'm supposed to do and I'm masterbating because it's hot as hell."

"Oh," Hilde said.

She stared at him in silence for a long moment before chugging back the rest of her drink.

"So… you're gay?"

Duo shrugged.

"I'm at least bisexual."

Hilde nodded.

"Uh huh. Sorry, this is a lot to process."

Duo sighed.

"No kidding," he agreed.

"So you two are… dating, dating?"

Duo frowned.

"Is there any other kind? What do you mean?"

"I mean, you've had sex with him?"

Duo crossed his arms.

"Define sex."

"Have you, I don't even know - have you penetrated him or, Jesus that's just weird to say."

"No, we haven't done that. And I think it would probably be him doing the penetrating, I don't think I could do that to him."

"But you have done things?"

Duo nodded.

"A hell of a lot of kissing and just kind of fooling around, you know? A few hand jobs."

Hilde arched an eyebrow.

"You've given him hand jobs?"

"No," Duo admitted with a sigh. "Those were from him. I, well, that's part of why I'm watching the porn - to figure out what to do."

"Do, haven't you been jacking yourself off since you were a teenager?"

"Yeah?"

"So… can't you apply the same principle to someone else's penis?"

"Sure, saying that makes it sound simple, but, I mean, Hilde, he's freaking amazing - I feel completely out of my element with him. I don't know what to do or what he's going to like."

"Wait, wait - a minute ago - you said that you wanted _him_ to do the penetrating? Are you serious?"

Duo shrugged.

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure I'd hurt him, you know? And he's done it before and it kind of… I don't know, I guess I sort of like the idea of him doing that to me?"

Hilde's mouth dropped open once again.

"Holy Mother of shit. You are totally gay."

Duo frowned.

"You don't have to say it like that - you're the one who told me to go out with him in the first place."

"Yeah, and then you ignored me and hooked up with Sylvia again. I just… I can't believe this Duo. You're like this totally different person."

"I am _not_. The only thing that's changed is my taste in porn and the fact that I get off in the shower thinking about fucking Trowa instead of you. I'm still the same."

"You've replaced fantasy me with a fantasy boy - that's a pretty dramatic change, Duo. And I'm not - I'm not saying it's bad, just that, I mean Jesus, Duo. You've kept this a secret from me for six weeks!"

Duo sighed.

"Yeah, well, I didn't exactly know how to bring it up, okay? It's kind of been one mind blowing realization about myself after another for the last month and I don't know… Hilde… It feels like I'm crazy, like I've done this completely stupid thing that doesn't make any sense at all and I _feel_ things about him that I've never felt about anybody. I love being with him, I love thinking about him and talking to him and touching him and -"

"Does he get you?" Hilde interrupted. "I mean _really_ get you?"

Duo thought about it for a moment.

"Yeah," he concluded. He thought back to all of their conversations, their jokes, their shared looks. "He really gets me."

Hilde smiled.

"Then, I mean, how crazy is it really? Love is blind or whatever, right?"

"Love?"

Hilde arched an eyebrow.

"You're going to tell me you aren't in love with him? Because you were confessing your eternal devotion to me after our fourth date. And you've been seeing this guys for weeks now."

Duo blushed.

"Yeah, but it's not like I can _say_ it or anything. Hilde, he's… he's out of my league. I don't really know _why_ he's wasting his time on me, but I already say enough crazy shit - I'm not going to tell him I love him on top of all that other stuff."

Hilde cocked her head to one side.

"Duo, if he gets you, then he's going to get that you fall hard and you fall fast."

"Maybe."

She sighed.

"Fine, don't listen to be about that but please, _please_ stop watching porn to figure out what gay sex is supposed to be like."

"Why?" He asked in confusion.

"Because it's _porn_ and just like straight porn, it's about fetishes and fantasy fulfilment - it's not real. If you really want to learn, go to Capulets - it's an adult store that caters to the LGBT community."

"How do you know about it?" Duo had to ask.

"I'm getting my doctorate in Gender Studies, Duo. I know _all _the adult stores in Atlanta. Plus they have a great vibrator collection."

-o-

After almost three weeks in Phoenix, Trowa was certain the city was no longer on his list of possible future homes. It was hot, dry and sandy. The water tasted strange, the sun was killing him, and he missed Duo.

It was crazy, and stupid, but Trowa was literally counting down the days until he could kiss Duo again.

Just three more days until he started his drive home. Heero and Wufei had already made him promise to come over for dinner on Sunday, but on Monday night Trowa had every intention of spending the entire night on the couch with Duo, or, if he was lucky, his bed. Five days and he would be with Duo again.

Thinking about that last night with Duo had more or less sustained him over these last few weeks. That and the sound of Duo's voice.

Talking to him every night over the last few weeks had been amazing, and Trowa hoped that he could convince Duo to continue the tradition once he was back in Atlanta, or at least spend more time with him. Suddenly two or three nights a week didn't feel like enough time together.

Trowa tried to tell himself that he didn't even care about the physical side of things - if Duo still felt uncomfortable touching him, that was fine. They could watch movies or go out or do anything, really, so long as Trowa was able to be with him.

He realized that kind of thinking would earn him a lecture from Wufei and a knowing look from Heero. Maybe they were right, maybe Duo was turning him straight after all.

When Duo called that night it was still only nine in Phoenix and Trowa had just arrived back at the apartment after having a drink with the other designers.

"God I miss you, Tro," Duo said by way of greeting and it made Trowa smile.

"I miss you too, Duo," he said.

"How many days until you're back?" Duo asked with an anxious sigh.

Trowa had to laugh.

"Five. I'll see you on Monday."

"Right. Monday. I'm going to have to start counting down the hours."

Trowa smiled at the thought that Duo was as excited to see him again as Trowa was to see Duo.

"Anything in particular you would like to do?" He asked.

"Uhh, anything that involves being with you? I mean I've got about twelve fantasies I'd like to work my way through with you but we could get dinner or something too, I guess."

"What kind of fantasies?" Trowa had to ask and the silence on Duo's end made him suspect that the other man was blushing and trying to figure out what to say that would cause him the least embarrassment.

"I only ask because I've got a few of my own," he said, trying to ease Duo's discomfort.

"Really?"

"Mhm."

Trowa toed off his shoes and then laid down on his bed.

"Want me to share?" He asked, trying to think if _any_ of his fantasies would be appropriate to share with Duo. If Duo still wasn't comfortable with the idea of touching Trowa, that eliminated most of them.

"I wouldn't mind, if you wanted to," Duo said, and Trowa could hear the thread of excitement in his voice. He smiled at that.

"Well, the shower here is pretty big and it reminds me of the one in the video we watched - do you remember it?"

"Yes," Duo breathed.

"I think about you every time I step in the shower, Duo. I think about standing there with you, naked, your hair loose and wet. Your entire body slick and I think about washing you, just like they did in the video, rubbing soap all over you and feeling you grow hard in my hand."

As he spoke, he closed his eyes and thought about it, imagining for what felt like the hundredth time what it would be like to shower with Duo. He thumbed the phone onto speaker and laid it down on his chest. He could feel himself getting hard and the thought of hearing Duo's voice as he masterbated made him even more aroused.

"Yeah?" Duo said, his voice sounded like it did when Trowa had him near orgasm.

"Are you thinking about me too, Duo?" He asked.

"Of course I am, Tro. How the hell could I not?"

Trowa smirked.

"Are you touching yourself, thinking about me? Wishing I was touching you?"

"_Yes_," Duo breathed.

"Tell me what you're doing."

"I… well, I'm on my bed. I actually just got out of the shower."

"Are you naked?"

There was a moment of silence and then a rustle of fabric.

"I am now."

Trowa chuckled.

"You're very sensitive, Duo. You react to me whenever I touch you."

"I know," Duo growled and it sounded like he was irritated with himself.

"I haven't had the chance to touch you when you were naked, though," Trowa mused. "Are your nipples sensitive?"

"I don't know," Duo confessed.

"Pinch them. Think about me doing it to you. Think about me licking my way down your chest and biting down. Just hard enough to make you -"

Duo gasped into the phone.

"Just like that," Trowa concluded.

He ran his own hands down his chest, shoving his shirt up and teasing his own nipples.

"I never realized… I only thought girls… that's stupid, isn't it?" Duo concluded. "Our nipples are the same, have the same nerve endings and everything, we just can't produce milk."

"True," Trowa agreed, amused yet again by the way that Duo's brain seemed to work.

"What about you? Are your nipples sensitive?"

"Yes," Trowa assured him, tugging on one hard enough to make himself hiss in pleasure.

"You're touching yourself, too?" Duo sounded even more excited.

"Of course. I'm not going to pass up the chance to listen to your sexy voice while I get off, Duo."

"Jesus, Tro." Duo breathed. "Are you naked?"

Trowa set the phone aside and shucked out of his clothes.

"I am now," he said a moment later and Duo chuckled, his voice heavy with desire.

"Run your hands down your body, Duo," Trowa instructed. "Just skim your finger tips over your chest and your stomach. Down to your hips and back up again."

He closed his eyes and followed his own instructions, trying to imagine it was _Duo _touching him but failing miserably. He doubted Duo, if he were here, would be comfortable looking at, let alone touching, a completely naked man.

"It feels good," Duo said, drawing Trowa's attention back to him.

"Really?"

"Yes. I mean, I've never really taken that much time to jerk off. I just get in the shower and think about the way your hand feels wrapped around me and you kissing me and me feeling your cock through your pants and that's kind of all it takes."

"You think about my cock?" Trowa asked, startled.

"Hell yeah, I do. It's kind of hard not too, yanno?"

"I think about yours too, Duo. I like the way you're shaped, the way you feel in my hand."

"Uh huh?" It was clear from his voice that Duo had started to work himself towards an orgasm and Trowa touched himself, responding to the need in Duo's voice.

"You're big and thick, Duo. I like that."

"Your hands - you have big hands, Trowa. It feels incredible when you wrap your hands around me."

"I like the way you shudder against me, Duo. The way you leak onto my hand."

"Then you'd be pretty happy right now," Duo moaned.

Trowa could feel himself getting close to release, just picturing what Duo was doing to himself.

"Does it feel good, Duo? Touching yourself?"

"And wishing it was you? Yes, Tro. It feels amazing."

"Are you going to come for me, Duo?"

"Yes, yes, god yes, Tro."

He could hear Duo's shuddery moan of ecstasy and it sent Trowa over the edge.

"Did you get off?" Duo asked after a few minutes of silence as they both regained their breath.

"Yeah," Trowa assured him. "You were great."

Duo chuckled at that.

"You never finished telling me about your shower fantasy," he pointed out.

"Well, what are you doing tomorrow night?"

-o-

On Saturday afternoon Duo finally caved and went to Capulets. Hilde was right - watching porn wasn't the best way to learn about realistic homosexual sex. Especially if the last week had been anything to go by.

He and Trowa had had phone sex for the last three nights, and it had been as erotic as it had been insightful. Erotic, because all it took for Duo to get hard was to hear Trowa's voice ask him what he was wearing, and insightful because, compared to the porn he had been watching, Trowa's fantasies were practically Disney movies.

Duo had to assume that Trowa was trying to tone things down for him, likely thinking that anything too graphic would scare him off.

Which meant that now Duo had two days to prepare himself to engage in one of his or Trowa's _real _fantasies. He knew he wasn't ready to have sex yet - not anything involving penetration, but he did know he wanted to touch Trowa. He wanted to look at his body and explore him and make him feel as incredible as he made Duo feel.

The only problem, of course, was that Duo was terrified of being awful at it.

So, on Saturday morning, he wandered into Capulets and discovered an entire world he had not known existed.

Growing up as a military brat, moving around every few years and dealing with an alcoholic father and the death of his mother and brother, Duo had never considered himself particularly sheltered. But looking around the rainbow colored store, at the equally rainbow colored assortment of toys, he realized he had _no clue_ what he was doing.

He walked through the aisles, each one more and more overwhelming. There were dildos and vibrators of every size and color he had never imagined; butt plugs and some kind of squishy vagina stand-in that frankly repulsed him. There were lubes and lotions in all flavors and walls of books and pornography. Costumes for men and women were arranged along one wall and Duo simply had no idea where to even start.

"You look lost."

He turned at the sound of a friendly, amused male voice.

It was Quatre Winner, the golden god of an actor that Trowa had dated.

"I know you," Quatre said and frowned, trying to place him. After a moment his face cleared and he smiled brightly.

"Duo?"

"Yeah. Duo Maxwell."

"Right. Trowa's friend!"

"More than his friend, I guess," Duo had to say and instantly regretted it. He had no idea if Trowa had even told his friends about him.

"Oh?" Quatre smirked. "Good for you. He's quite the catch." He winked. "Are you here to get something to spice up the sex life? Not that it needs much, he's a devil in bed isn't he?"

Duo found himself flushing red.

"Oh, sorry, you haven't…?" Quatre seemed genuinely regretful.

"Not yet," Duo said.

Quatre nodded and then frowned.

"How long have you been together?"

"A few weeks? Seven weeks?"

"And you still haven't fucked him? Are you… you are clean, right? Because we aren't involved anymore but he _is_ still my friend and -"

"No, I'm clean," Duo assured him and felt mortified. "That's not it."

"Then what is it? Because it is a crime not be enjoying that man's glorious penis."

"I, ah, I mean, this is weird, me talking to you about him."

"Why? Because we used to be together?" Quatre shrugged. "It was fun and I guess I understand now why he hasn't returned any of my calls. No hard feelings there."

Duo frowned. He hadn't even thought about Quatre after that night at the bar, and he found it incredibly gratifying that Trowa had ignored his phone calls.

"It's nothing," he said, in no way comfortable talking to Quatre about this.

"He likes the vanilla scented lube," if that's what you're looking for," Quatre said with a wink.

"Oh. Um, thanks for that tip."

"Speaking of tips," Quatre grinned. "Have you noticed how he always loses it when you lick the tip of his penis?"

"Ah, no, no I hadn't noticed."

Quatre frowned.

"You haven't had sex, you haven't sucked him off… what _have_ you done with him?"

Duo felt very grateful that he had never tried to embark on a career as a spy. Quatre had managed to crack him in less than five minutes.

"We've done things together," he said, wincing at how defensive and stupid that sounded but Quatre only smirked.

"He's your first, isn't he?"

Duo sighed and nodded in defeat.

"How old are you?"

"Twenty three."

"Twenty three - and you've just realized you were gay?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

Quatre shrugged.

"I've been with guys who didn't realize it until after they were married and had three kids - trust me, it's _much_ better to figure it out at your young age."

"Thanks?"

"So why _are_ you at Capulets?" Quatre persisted.

"Because I'm twenty three and just realized I was gay seven weeks ago. I don't know what I'm doing or what Trowa wants me to do - or what he wants to do to me. I figured, I don't know, I could find some books or something here."

Quatre looked at him with a serious expression.

"You really are a virgin, aren't you?"

"I've had sex with women," Duo argued.

Quatre smirked.

"_That_ doesn't count, darling." He looked Duo up and down once and then shrugged. "I'm surprised Trowa is interested in you."

"How so?"

"Well, you aren't really his type, are you?"

If Trowa's type was Quatre, then no, Duo had to conclude, he wasn't Trowa's type. Quatre was in great shape, clearly had great taste in clothes, had a killer smile and was an amazing actor. Duo was none of those things. He knew he was decent looking - and funny and smart enough that Trowa liked to talk to him, but he was nothing like Quatre.

"Maybe he just felt like trying someone new?" Quatre wondered aloud and then shrugged. "In any case, you want to know what he likes?" Quatre pointed towards a section of the store that was covered in black leather and silver chains. "I recommend you try that section."

"BDSM?" Duo was at least wordly enough to know what that meant.

Quatre nodded.

"The man can fill out a pair of leather chaps, let me tell you. He needs work on his fisting, mind you, but it's not like you have anything to compare it to."

"Fisting?" Duo had stumbled across a clip of _that_ and had had to slam his laptop shut to avoid watching what he could only describe as his worst nightmare.

"You know," Quatre started to gesture with his hands but Duo stopped him.

"I know what it is."

"See, you aren't as ignorant as you thought. Anyway, remember, vanilla lube."

And with that, Quatre walked away, leaving Duo to stare in horror at the assortment of bondage gear before him.


	7. Chapter 7

Standard Disclaimers: Not mine.

Warnings: angst, language, yaoi

Pairings: 2x3, 3x4, 1x5, past 1x3, past 2xH

_The Road Not Taken_

Part Seven

"We have some news," Wufei said as they sat down at the table and Heero plated their grilled steaks.

Trowa arched an eyebrow.

"You've finally decided to stop calling Duo my straight boyfriend?"

"No, of course not," Heero told him with a smirk.

"We're going to adopt," Wufei said.

Trowa blinked.

"Like a kid?"

"No, a wild badger," Wufei snapped. "Of _course_ a kid."

"Wow."

"Wow?" Wufei echoed.

"Yeah. Wow. That's amazing."

And it was. He knew that Heero had always wanted to adopt kids and suspected that Wufei did as well - why else would he be interested in marrying Heero in the first place if he didn't share that dream? - but he had somehow imagined that it would be further down the road.

"You two will be great parents," he said with confidence and then smirked. "Wufei's going to give into their every whim and Heero will be a great bad cop."

"I am _not_ going to spoil our children," Wufei said and shot Heero a glare. "Don't you even start."

Heero chuckled and turned towards Trowa.

"We're working with an agency out of New York that places refugees who have lost their parents in conflicts abroad."

"That's… wow." He said again.

"We passed the interviews and now we're on the list - they said there's a good chance we might have a child in the next six months to a year."

"Boy or girl?"

"It doesn't matter to us. Eventually, I think we'd like a boy and a girl, but we'll be happy with whatever family we make."

"I'm really happy for you," he said.

Wufei leaned over and kissed Heero and Trowa felt a moment of pure jealousy as he realized that _he_ could be in Wufei's position right now. _He_ could be the one ready to start a family with Heero.

Instead, he had cheated on Heero with Quatre, almost ruining their friendship and certainly ruining their chances of a life together. Five years later, Wufei and Heero were ready to start a family and Trowa… Trowa was dating a straight guy. He was no closer to _his_ dreams of having someone in his life and having a family than he had been the day he confessed his betrayal to Heero.

"We would like you to be the godfather, if you are interested," Heero said.

"Are you sure?"

Wufei nodded.

"Absolutely. You and Cathy will be perfect to foist the monsters off on when we want to run away to Hawaii."

Trowa had to laugh.

"I see."

"You're my best friend, Trowa," Heero said, "and we want you to be part of our family."

The words brought Trowa up short. He swallowed hard against a lump in his throat.

"Thank you," he said, meaning it sincerely.

Heero smirked at him and nodded.

"But," Wufei interrupted the heavy moment, "how _is_ your straight boyfriend?"

"He's fine," Trowa sighed.

"Did he give you a proper homecoming?" Wufei asked with a lascivious wink.

"Not yet. He's coming over tomorrow night."

"Did you talk to him? About what you wanted from him?" Heero asked.

Trowa sighed.

"No. There wasn't really a good time to do it before I left and it didn't seem like the kind of thing to talk about over the phone."

"If you keep putting it off, you're going to end up having that kind of conversation at the worst possible moment," Heero prophesized.

"I'm not sure when there is a _good_ moment to tell your straight boyfriend that if he's not interested in at least touching my dick then I want to break up with him."

He realized he had said too much and had to confront the dual, shocked stares of Wufei and Heero.

"He hasn't -" Heero started.

"Dump him. Dump him now," Wufei advised. "He really _is_ straight, isn't he?"

"What exactly have you two done together?" Heero asked.

Trowa sighed.

"I've given him a few hands jobs," he wasn't going to add that they had had three nights of amazing phone sex, because he felt fairly certain that wouldn't help Duo's case in the least.

Wufei just sat silent, shaking his head.

"I think this is about more than sex," Heero said, clearly choosing his words carefully. "Is he _really_ someone you can see yourself in a relationship with in five years - an intimate, physical and emotional relationship?"

"I've only known him for seven weeks, Heero."

"Trowa, when you and _I_ had been together for seven weeks we were working our way through the Kama Sutra for a second time and planning to move to Atlanta together."

That had been true. They had met the summer after graduate school while working together at a summer stock theatre in upstate New York. Neither can concrete plans for the future, but after seven weeks together they had decided that whatever future was out there, it would be better to face it together. So, in August after the season ended, they packed up their things and moved to Atlanta, finding an apartment and moving in together and living an amazingly happy life together until the night Quatre asked Trowa to drive him home after a dress rehearsal for _A Midsummer Night's Dream_.

"Heero -"

"No, Trowa, I'm serious. I know seven weeks isn't a lot of time, but you were in love with him after four dates. If you can't tell _now_ whether or not you want to be with him - or whether or not he wants to be with you, then there's a problem."

Trowa sighed. There was no argument against Heero's logic.

He chanced a look at Wufei and then had to wince. The reference to working their way through the Kama Sutra multiple times probably didn't sit well with him.

Wufei, seeming to read his mind, shrugged.

"Don't worry about it. We worked our way through it a few times before moving on to more advanced things."

-o-

Duo didn't think of himself as vain. He liked to be clean and he liked to be presentable in his appearance, but he didn't put much effort into his clothing. Sylvia had tried, for a while, to pepper his wardrobe with clothing she thought was appropriate for a future history professor. She was the sole reason he had three pairs of khaki pants, let alone one. She was also the reason why all of his cargo pants and cargo shorts had been thrown out.

So now, as he stared at his closet and tried to figure out what in the hell to wear, he felt at a complete loss.

"Hilde!" He finally called for assistance after half an hour of fruitless efforts.

"What's up? And whoa! Duo! What are you wearing?" Hilde's eyes locked onto the black, athletic cut boxer briefs and Duo fought the urge to cover himself.

"Uh, boxer briefs? Do they look stupid?"

"Um, no. I've never seen you look so sexy - you're like a male model or something, Duo. Jeez! Turn around for me."

He reluctantly did so.

"Duo, your ass looks amazing! Trowa's going to rip these things right off you!"

Duo snorted a laugh.

"Hopefully, but first, he's going to have to rip off my clothes."

She arched an eyebrow.

"I don't see you wearing any."

Duo sighed.

"Yeah, that's the problem. I haven't seen him in three weeks and… look, the last time we were together he kind of wanted more and I hesitated and I _want_ more too. So… how do I say that with my clothes?"

Hilde's mouth worked as she tried not to smile.

"My little Duo," she finally said as she walked over to the closet and started to leaf her way through the clothes. "All grown up and ready to be ravished by a big, strong man."

Her words did nothing for his anxiety.

Because Duo definitely _wasn't _ready to be ravished by a big, strong man. Especially not one who enjoyed fisting and bondage. He forced himself not to panic. Trowa hadn't pushed him into anything yet - he seriously doubted that he would spring on him with a pair of rubber gloves and a barrel of industrial lubricant tonight.

"Okay… put these on and I'll be right back." Hilde handed him a pair of black trousers and Duo pulled them on. He realized they were the same ones he had worn when he and Trowa went to see _Eurydice_ together. That brought back pleasant memories of their kiss in the theatre, when Duo had almost come at just a squeeze of his ass from Trowa.

"Do you want to go for kind of… casual, sexy Duo or do you want more super slutty, take me to bed or lose me forever Duo?" Hilde held up his red dress shirt in one hand and one of _her_ blue dress shirts in her other.

"Hilde, does your shirt even fit me?"

"Barely, probably. Try it on."

He reluctantly did so, sure that the strained buttons would break.

"Tuck it in," she instructed.

He did so and then looked at himself in the mirror.

Because of the cut of the shirt it was open for a good three inches below his collarbone, displaying the top of his tattoo. It also fit him like a glove - an obscene glove.

"I cannot wear this in public," he told her.

"Are you _going_ to be in public?" She asked him and he realized he had no idea.

"Uh… I don't know. I guess I should ask."

He called Trowa.

"Hey," Trowa answered, the warmth of his voice making Duo smile. Hilde rolled her eyes.

"Hey yourself," Duo said. "I was wondering what you had planned for tonight. Did you want to go out or stay in or…?"

Trowa sighed.

"We should probably go out," he said, the warmth strangely gone from his voice.

"I don't mind staying in," Duo said, ignoring the leer Hilde shot him.

"No, we need to talk and if we just stay in I'm probably going to get distracted."

"What kind of talk?" Duo asked. Was this going to be the time when Trowa announced his fetishes?

"Just - let's meet up at Hal's on Old Ivy. I've got reservations for us at eight."

"Okay, sure. That sounds great."

Duo hung up and had to stare at his phone in confusion.

"So… super slut or not?" Hilde prompted.

"I'm thinking definitely not." He started to take off Hilde's shirt. "He's taking me to Hal's."

Hilde's eyes widened.

"Isn't that where you took Sylvia to break up with her? Both times?"

"Three times - you're forgetting this last one."

"Right - and you took what's her name, Karen? Karen, right? You went out with her five or six times? You broke up with her there too, right? And who was it? Sarah? Was Sarah the -"

"Yes, Hilde. Hal's is my preferred break up dinner date location."

Duo took the red shirt from her and angrily started to button it up.

"Does Trowa know that?"

"What? No."

"Then maybe he wants to take you there because it's a really nice restaurant?"

Duo glared at her.

"What? Duo, come on! It _is_ a really nice restaurant!"

"Yeah, which is the point! I take girls there so they don't make a huge scene when I end things and so they don't feel like I've treated them like shit."

"Okay, but again, Trowa doesn't know that's what you do. Duo, come on!"

He sighed.

"Hilde, he said we needed to talk. That's never a good thing."

"Well," Hilde sat down on his bed and watched him put on a suit jacket and start searching for a tie. "Sometimes it can be."

"Really? Like when?"

"Like when… oh fuck it, I don't know Duo! But do you have any reason to _think_ he's going to break up with you?"

Duo frowned and thought about it.

"No, except he really didn't sound… I don't know, Hilde. He didn't sound exactly thrilled about talking to me. Which is weird, yanno, because we've been talking for hours every day for the last three weeks - so this is clearly _not _a good talk."

In Duo's mind there were only two possibilities - Trowa was going to break up with him, or Trowa was going to reveal his BDSM passions and was already adopting the role of a stern, cold master.

Duo swallowed hard.

He had hesitantly purchased a book on BDSM and one on fisting from Capulets. He hadn't been able to get past the introduction in the fisting book, but he _had_ read the BDSM guide. Parts of it intrigued him, but other parts he wanted nothing to do with.

He sighed and looked at Hilde.

"I need to ask you something, and it's going to sound weird and I need you to just… go with it."

"Okay…"

"If you were dating someone and you realized that they had a… kind of lifestyle that you didn't want to ever be part of, what would you do?"

"Well," she cocked her head to one side. "Does this lifestyle affect me?"

"Yeah. The lifestyle… I mean you would _have_ to become part of it."

"And I'm not interested in it at all?"

"You're interested in something like _two_ things about this lifestyle but everything else terrifies you."

"Duo, if Trowa is into things that you don't want to do, just tell him that."

Duo closed his eyes.

"Yeah, I know, but it's not that simple. It's really a lifestyle here, Hilde." The BDSM book had very explicitly laid out what was expected in most master-slave relationships and Duo wasn't at all comfortable with it. On one hand, he did trust Trowa, but on the other, he had absolutely no desire to be tied up and spanked. The thought of Trowa putting his hand - his large hand with long fingers - up Duo's rectum was even less appealing.

"I can't do it, Hil. I just - I mean, fuck. I've been trying to work myself towards just _touching_ him and now I learn this and I just - it's not… I have no fucking clue what to do."

"Well, I think freaking out is the worst thing you could do," Hilde said and kissed his forehead. "Pull yourself together and _talk_ to him. You've said you can talk to him about anything. I think this counts as anything."

Duo nodded. She was right.

"Okay. Yeah."

He just needed to figure out how to tell Trowa he was terrified of what he wanted.

-o-

Trowa had hoped that meeting Duo for dinner out in public would help him figure out just what and how to tell Duo that things weren't working out for him.

That plan had gone immediately out of the proverbial window when Duo had walked into the restaurant in a black suit, black tie and blood red shirt that made Trowa want to take him home and undress him.

And then Duo smiled at him, that shy, self-deprecating smile he sometimes had that made Trowa want to kiss him until he was breathless and moaning.

_Pull it together_, he mentally berated himself.

Duo sat down across from him at the table.

"It's good to see you," Trowa told him, meaning it.

"You too. I really missed you, Tro."

_Tro_. How could do make that nickname sound so damn sexy?

"Have you been here before?" Trowa asked him, gesturing to the restaurant.

Duo sighed.

"A few times, yeah."

Trowa had to arch an eyebrow at his tone.

"Nothing pleasant?"

"Oh, no, it was… the food is great."

An awkward silence fell between them that was broken only by the waiter coming back to take their orders.

"So, I mean, you said you wanted to talk? I just -" Duo caught himself when the waiter came back with their wine.

"I knew if we just stayed in for the night I would forget about talking to you and just try to get you naked," Trowa confessed once they were alone again.

Duo flushed.

"I don't think I would have complained much, if that was the plan."

Duo's words made Trowa sigh.

"I know you wouldn't have complained, _much_, but Duo… I like you."

"I like you," Duo insisted. "I think about you all the time and, hell, Tro, talking to you on the phone has been the highlight of my days for the last three weeks. Just the sound of your voice makes me smile and I - I'm sorry. I'm a little freaked out at the moment."

"I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable."

"No, it's my own fault. This restaurant… this is where I've taken some of my old girlfriends to, in the past, to break up with them."

"You're joking."

Duo shook his head.

"No. It's a nice place, you know? So no one is likely to get up and start yelling at me and it's good food so it's not like I've tried to ditch them on the side of the road or anything, you know?"

Trowa had to nod in agreement. It had been his exact thinking when choosing this restaurant tonight.

"Duo, I've had a lot of fun with you these past few weeks."

Duo stared at him.

"Holy shit, you _are_ breaking up with me," he breathed.

Trowa winced at his tone.

"You're an amazing guy, Duo. You're smart, funny, sexy - you're everything I've ever dreamed of finding in a guy, but, Duo, I don't think _I'm_ everything you've ever dreamed of, am I?"

"Well, no. I never really dreamed about guys before I met you, but Trowa -"

"Duo, do you really think you can do this? Do you really think you can be in a relationship with me? Something that involves _more_ than me giving you a hand job? I - I'm _not _straight, Duo. I'm not just figuring out whether or not I like the idea of sucking another guy's dick. You are and I think that you're not ready for what I want."

"I - Tro, I just…" Duo sighed. "You're right. You deserve to be with someone who can do that stuff with you, or have you do - or whatever, you know? And I guess I'm just not that guy. I mean, it's not your dick I'm uncomfortable with, Trowa, it's everything else that, I mean if I'm being honest it scares the hell out of me."

Trowa sat back in his chair.

"That was… very honest," he had to say.

Duo shrugged and offered a bitter smile.

"You know me, speak what you feel…"

Trowa had to nod in agreement.

"And if that's what you feel, I'm glad you said something."

Duo sighed.

"It's just - Trowa, you've changed my life. I've never felt this way about anyone and I've tried a _lot_ of new things with you and I've loved all of them, but I can't… I can't _do_ that. Not with you, not with anyone."

Trowa was amazed at how deeply Duo's words cut into him. He had suspected their conversation would go this way, but that didn't mean he wasn't still surprised. Part of him had hoped that Duo, especially after their intensely erotic phone sex, was finally embracing the idea of touching another man.

"It's your lifestyle - I guess, hell, it's your life, isn't it? I want you to be happy and to be with someone who can do those things with you. I really, really wish it was me, Tro. God I wish it was me, but I just…"

"Duo." He reached across the table and gripped the other man's hand. "It's okay. I understand. And I appreciate it."

Duo gave him a shy smile.

"I guess, maybe we could try be friends after all?" He suggested.

Their food arrived and Trowa was saved from disappointing him. He knew now there was no way he could be Duo's friend. Not if it meant being near him, hearing his voice, smelling his aftershave, seeing his smile.

They ate dinner in relative silence. Duo managed to keep a light conversation going for some of it, telling Trowa a few horror stories about the undergrads he taught, but Trowa could tell Duo's heart wasn't really in it. They skipped dessert and after Trowa paid the bill they walked out together.

"This is me," Duo said and gestured towards his Corolla.

"I'm over there somewhere," Trowa said, waving vaguely behind them.

Duo smiled.

"Sorry," he said when Trowa gave him a look. "It's just - this is the same as the first time we went out."

Trowa nodded, remembering. He had been nervous then. Duo had captivated him almost instantly - first on the phone and then again in person, when he smiled at him and he hadn't wanted to screw it up.

"Would you mind… maybe a goodbye kiss?" Duo asked. He had clearly decided for himself that Trowa wasn't interested in being merely friends.

"Of course," Trowa said, knowing he would regret it.

Duo closed the space between them and reached up, wrapping his arms around Trowa's shoulders and angling his head downwards so that their lips met.

It was the saddest, most passionate kiss Trowa had ever experienced and he found himself blinking back tears when they pulled away.

"Thank you, Tro," Duo said, giving him a sad smile before turning and walking away.

-o-

THE END

Just kidding! How much would you all totally hate me if it was, though? Sorry. Had to do it.


	8. Chapter 8

Standard Disclaimers: Not mine.

Warnings: angst, language, yaoi

Pairings: 2x3, 3x4, 1x5, past 1x3, past 2xH, 2x?

_The Road Not Taken_

Part Eight

Duo spent the first week of May locked in his bedroom or the graduate study lounge in the library, frantically writing his term papers and forcing himself to think about _nothing_ else. He was grateful, for perhaps the first time in his academic life, of a crippling workload. Between the four papers he was writing more than one hundred and fifty pages and while he had already finished half of them while Trowa was still in Phoenix, he was still enough of a perfectionist that he revised each of the papers three times.

It was a great way to avoid thinking about Trowa, their break up, and his new found sexuality. Instead, he focused on the civil rights movement, immigration reform, the Vietnam War and post-War War II America. All things that _should_ have absolutely nothing to do with Trowa. Except that every time Duo came across an interesting photograph or a great quote or a tragic statistic he wanted to text Trowa and share it with him.

After just seven weeks, Trowa had become a fixed part of Duo's life. He was the one Duo wanted to laugh with or bitch to or think about. He was also the one that Duo had lost.

When Duo finally turned in his papers he felt empty, as though his entire purpose for living was suddenly gone.

It didn't help that the summer stretched out before him. He had made no plans for the long three months, thinking that he would be plenty busy preparing for his thesis and his General Examination in the fall, but he realized now that that left far too many hours in the day for him to think about Trowa. He thought about travelling, he had enough money saved that he could bum around Europe for a few weeks at least, but even that wasn't very appealing. He couldn't help but think how much better it would be if Trowa went with him to Europe. Trowa always seemed to know the most fascinating details about things, and Duo had no doubt that touring the great architectural features of Europe with Trowa would be enlightening.

And impossible.

He made it through a full week of feeling pathetically depressed and sorry for himself until Hilde cornered him.

Unlike Duo, she did have plans for the summer - an internship with a women's advocacy group in New York, so she would be leaving in just a few days. Which meant Duo really would be completely alone for the entire summer. Abandoned by Hilde, his soul mate, and Trowa, the man he loved.

"This is pathetic," Hilde announced one night, coming home to find him staring listlessly at the tv, a bottle of wine between his legs. Duo had foregone the use of a glass and decided to drink straight from the bottle.

"I know," he agreed.

"You have _never_ been this miserable about a breakup. Not even our breakup!"

She had stayed up waiting for him the night of his last, fateful date with Trowa, anxious to hear details about the talk, and Duo had still felt raw from the encounter. He had recounted the entire night, including their amazing last kiss and he had actually had to bite his tongue to keep from crying.

"I know," he agreed again."

"Duo, I'm honestly worried about you," she said and sat down on the couch beside him.

"Hilde, I'm fine."

"No, you aren't. Talk to me."

Duo shook his head. As much as he _wanted_ to, he really, really didn't want to cry, and he knew he might do that. He felt like enough of an idiot as it was. He didn't want to further embarrass himself.

"Duo, please."

"Hilde, I _can't_. I don't even know what to say!"

"Tell me what you're feeling."

"I'm feeling completely empty, Hilde. I feel like - I feel like I spent my entire life blind, and it was okay because I didn't realize I couldn't see and then - then Trowa made me _see_ Hilde. He showed me this entire world I'd never even considered and now I'm just stuck here. I can _see_, Hilde, but there's nothing for me to look at anymore."

"Oh Duo," she wrapped her arms around him. "I know it feels like that now, but just give it some time and -"

"No, Hilde, you don't understand. I'm not - okay, let's assume that I can just forget about Trowa and move on. Who am I supposed to move on _with_? Am I supposed to find a girl? Or a guy? Because I'm not… I don't think I _want_ to date another girl, but I also - what if I really only wanted Trowa? What if I'm not gay either? What if I'm seriously _never_ going to figure myself out?"

Hilde sat back and stared at him.

"Okay, well I think we can try to answer some of that tonight."

"What? How?"

"Well, for starters give me the wine and go take a shower. I'm taking you out."

"Hilde - don't you and Greg have plans? You're leaving in a week. You don't want to waste your time with me."

"Time spent with you is never wasted, Duo. You're my soulmate. And Greg is going to meet up with us later."

"Us?"

"Yes. Most of the Gender Studies candidates are getting together to celebrate our survival tonight. You're coming with me."

"Hilde, no. I don't -"

"Yes. You are. Now get up, clean up, and get dressed. And shave!"

Duo stared at her for a long, defiant moment, but predictably he gave in and did as instructed.

An hour later he found himself standing on the back porch of a three story house holding a plastic cup of beer and wishing he was back on the couch, alone.

"Hey."

Duo turned to see a man approach him.

"I'm Zechs," the man said and held out one hand.

"Duo." He shook the other man's hand.

"Hilde suggested I should come and save you from yourself."

Duo had to snort a laugh at that.

He looked Zechs over. He was tall, fair, with intense blue eyes and long, white blond hair that was longer than Duo's. He wore it loose, as if daring anyone to comment on it. He was attractive, and Duo was startled to realize that _he_ was attracted to him.

"You don't have to," he assured Zechs, "I'm pretty miserable company at the moment and shit for conversation."

Zechs arched an eyebrow.

"If you don't feel like talking, I can think of other things we can do to save you," he suggested.

Duo stared at him.

"Are you… are you flirting with me?"

"I was trying to, yes," Zechs said, smirking widely. "I have to admit, I usually get a better response to that kind of proposition than a confused stare."

"No, I'm sorry, I just… I mean, you're gorgeous and I'm…"

"Not far from gorgeous yourself," Zechs assured him. He closed the space between them and brushed one long strand of Duo's bangs back. "Not far at all," he said and leaned down to kiss Duo.

_Holy shit_, Duo thought at the searing heat of Zechs' mouth and the forceful plunge of his tongue into Duo's own mouth.

It was nothing like kissing Trowa, nothing like _anything_ Duo had experienced.

He found himself leaning into the taller man and kissing him back, their tongues battling together for control.

Zechs pulled away with a smirk.

"So how about it?"

"What?" Duo had no idea what he was talking about.

"Want to take this somewhere a little more private?"

"I, uh, that seems kind of rude?"

Zechs snorted.

"It's my house. If I want to take a hot guy up to my room and blow him I can do that."

"Oh. Oh."

Duo thought about it for a moment but then he tossed back the rest of his beer and followed Zechs.

They wove their way through the crowd inside the house, Duo spotting Hilde and Greg deep in conversation with a blue haired woman, and upstairs to, presumably, Zech's bedroom.

As soon as the door closed behind him, Duo felt a pang of regret.

What the hell was he doing? He had never been into casual sex - and he had never even experienced homosexual oral sex.

But Zechs' hot mouth was soon back on his and he could feel the other man's hands working to unfasten his pants.

"This is, really fast," Duo had to say when Zechs pulled away.

"Would you like me to slow down?" Zechs asked, still smirking. He knelt down and ran his hands up Duo's torso, under his shirt and Duo shuddered at the sensation.

"Yeah, yes."

Zechs continued to smirk as he slowly undid the button and then the zipper on Duo's jeans.

"How is this?" Zechs asked, slowly pulling Duo's pants and boxers down to his ankles.

"That wasn't actually what I meant," Duo had to say.

"I know," Zechs said with a chuckle. "But if I hesitate now, you're just going to put your jeans back on and run away from me, aren't you?"

"The thought had crossed my mind," Duo admitted. "I just - I don't even know you and -holy mother of God!"

Zechs clearly had no interest in what Duo was saying. He ignored him completely and licked Duo's cock, his broad tongue stopping to swirl around the head.

"Still too fast?" Zechs asked, using one hand to work Duo fully erect while he cupped his balls with the other.

"Ah, um, no, not too fast," Duo panted.

"Good."

Duo found it hard to maintain any coherent thoughts as Zechs proceeded to give him the most amazing blow job of his life. It felt incredible, indescribably different than oral sex with Hilde or Sylvia and Duo felt completely boneless afterwards, sliding down to the floor while Zechs grinned at him and licked a drop of semen from the corner of his mouth.

"I, Jesus Christ. That was amazing."

"I like the way you taste," Zechs said. "We should do this again sometime."

Duo blinked and realized he was being kicked out. He struggled to stand up and pull his boxers and pants back on.

"I, uh, would you like to get coffee or something?" Duo asked.

Zechs chuckled.

"I'm not interested in _dating_ you," he said and kissed Duo.

Duo could taste himself in the other man's mouth. It was intensely strange, but not unpleasant.

"But if you decide you don't mind taking things a little faster, I wouldn't say no a _quick_ fuck."

Duo had no idea what to say.

"Let me see your phone," Zechs said calmly.

Duo passed it over and watched Zechs enter his number.

"Call me when you're ready for more," Zechs said before opening the door to his bedroom and ushering Duo out.

-o-

A new project was exactly what Trowa needed to get his mind off of Duo, and it was with relief that he went to the first read thru of _The Pillowman_ two weeks after his breakup. It was a dark play, which suited Trowa's dark mood these days just fine.

Of course, the fact that Quatre was cast in the show didn't help, or that Wufei and Heero _both_ kept glancing over at him during the read, clearly trying to gauge his mood.

He had told them that he had ended things with Duo and stated that he didn't want to talk about it. So far they had respected that, but Trowa knew them both well enough to know that that would only last for so long. No doubt it would come up at one of their Sunday dinners eventually.

Until then, Trowa tried to bury every thought about Duo and focus _only_ on his work.

The trouble with that, however, was Quatre. The blond's constant presence in his life did nothing to help things. Especially when, after the read thru ended, he came up to Trowa.

"Hey," Quatre stopped him on his way out with a hand on his arm.

Trowa sighed.

"Hey," he responded, knowing that he didn't have it in him to just ignore Quatre when he was right in front of him.

"Do you want to grab lunch?"

Trowa started to shake his head in the negative.

"Just lunch," Quatre finagled. "I'm not trying to get you back or anything - I just really miss talking to you and it would be nice to catch up."

Trowa hesitated.

"Oh come on, you have to eat, don't you? And I promise I won't try to blow you under the table or anything, unless you want me to?" Quatre gave him a saucy wink.

"Quatre."

"I'm only teasing you. I know you've got your new straight boyfriend for that sort of thing anyway."

That brought Trowa up short.

"Who talked to you about Duo?" He didn't think that Wufei or Heero or even Cathy, who loved to gossip more than even Wufei, would mention Duo to Quatre.

"Oh, he did." Quatre shrugged. "I ran into him at Capulets a few weeks ago?" He shrugged again. "So, lunch? Seriously. I just want to talk to you. I promise to keep my hands to myself for an hour."

Trowa wanted to say no, but in truth, a small part of him that would probably never go away _wanted_ to spend time with Quatre. A larger part wanted to know more about Quatre and Duo's encounter, and he gave in.

"Sure. Chipotle?"

"You read my mind," Quatre said happily. He grabbed the stylish leather messenger bag with his script, water and notes and fell into step beside Trowa. "This is going to be a good show."

"It's very dark," Trowa pointed out, surprised that Quatre was excited about something he didn't have the lead in. "And Ariel is a really different character for you to play."

"I know," Quatre agreed. "I'll be honest, I was kind of pissed when Wufei was cast as Katurian but today during the read, listening to him… he's going to be amazing. He's got a perfect voice for the role and he's able to blend anger and confusion really well. Besides, I haven't ever done a role like Ariel. I'm looking forward to it."

Trowa had to smile when Quatre looked up at him with a broad grin. He wanted to hate Quatre - it would be so much easier if he could - but Quatre was a good person.

It wasn't until they were halfway into their naked burritos that Trowa brought up Duo.

"You so him at Capulets?"

Quatre nodded.

"Yes. He was so adorably lost and terrified to ask for help." Quatre chuckled. "I remembered him from that night - the opening night of _Eurydice_? Anyway, he said he was trying to learn how to be gay and didn't know what you liked or expected and he really, really is adorable. How did you two meet?"

"Heero introduced us," Trowa stretched the truth a considerable amount. It worried him that Duo had asked Quatre what _Trowa_ enjoyed and expected. He wondered just what Quatre had told him.

"I guess Heero gets his revenge then," Quatre muttered.

Trowa arched an eyebrow at that.

"You know, for me enticing you away from him years ago. Now he found someone to entice you away from me."

"Duo didn't entice me away from you, Quatre. You never wanted me in the first place." Trowa had to point out.

Quatre sighed.

"I always want you Trowa, you just… you've always thought I was capable of giving you more than I can."

Trowa had to arch an eyebrow at that.

"You did! You wanted me to become some domesticated thing that I'm just not interested in. I'm gay, Trowa, and I don't want to replicate the same kind of heterosexual entrapment that people have been forced into for millennia."

"Are you talking about marriage?"

"Yes. Marriage and a family and all of that. Trowa, we're different. We aren't like straight couples."

"Heero and Wufei are."

Quatre rolled his eyes.

"Heero and Wufei are only gay because they hate women. If either of them could get it up for a pair of tits they would be straight in a heartbeat. I don't want to be compared to them."

Trowa shook his head in disagreement.

"They have an amazing relationship - they're partners, Quatre. That's all I ever wanted from you. Just for you to be my partner."

Quatre gave him a sad smile.

"And that's the one thing I can't give you. I don't want you to get tired of me, Trowa. And if you saw me everyday you would. I love you too much to let you throw me away."

Trowa was shocked into momentary silence.

"I would never do that, Quatre. I wanted to spend my _life_ with you. I wasn't going to get tired of you."

"But you did," Quatre pointed out.

"No, I got tired of you choosing other guys over me. I got tired of waiting for you to realize I was there."

"And what if I said I was ready for you now? If I said I wanted to try out this partnership thing of yours - would you get rid of your straight boy for me?"

"Why does everyone keep _calling_ him that?" Trowa snapped. It didn't matter that the relationship was over now, it still irritated him. Especially to hear Quatre say it.

"Probably because we can all sense his fear of your dick," Quatre murmured. "Of course, now he's probably just as afraid of your hands."

"What?" Trowa asked in confusion.

"I pointed him towards the BDSM section of Capulets and told him about our little fisting experiment and your fascination with leather."

Trowa felt all of the blood drain from his face.

"You did not."

"I was just trying to open his eyes, Trowa. He's such an ignorant little virgin and he was pretty desperate to learn anything I could teach him."

"The fisting was _your_ idea and it was _one time_, Quatre."

"Yes, but the bondage was all you."

"You never complained about it - and I don't think we can call a blindfold and a pair of _fuzzy_ cuffs hardcore bondage."

Quatre shrugged.

"I know. But I still felt he had a right to know about it - after all, _he_ might not appreciate showing up at your apartment to find you wearing just a pair of leather chaps quite like I did."

"You're an asshole, Quatre," Trowa decided, finally able to start hating him.

Suddenly Trowa realized that his last conversation with Duo had not been about what _he_ had thought it was.

Hadn't Duo practically come out and said he was terrified of Trowa's _lifestyle_? At the time, Trowa had thought it meant that Duo was scared of coming out as a gay man and engaging in sex. But what if he had meant BDSM or fisting?

What if Duo had finally been ready to move forward in their relationship and first Quatre, then Trowa himself had ruined it?


	9. Chapter 9

Standard Disclaimers: Not mine.

Warnings: angst, language, yaoi

Pairings: 2x3, 3x4, 1x5, past 1x3, past 2xH

_The Road Not Taken_

Part Nine

It took Duo almost forty minutes to convince Hilde to spent her last night in Atlanta out with Greg.

"Seriously, Hil, I'm fine - I've moved on from the catatonic depression to self-loathing. I'm in a much better place."

She was dressed to nines - Greg had made reservations at some fancy, mystery restaurant and Duo knew she was looking forward to her night out.

"Hilde. _Go_. I'll be fine. I'm just going to watch Star Wars and chill out."

"Duo - "

"Don't _Duo_ me, Hilde. It's perfectly normal for me to spend a night in, watching movies, instead of going out. This isn't a great tragedy."

"Except that you hate yourself because you somehow, stupidly, feel like you cheated on Trowa."

"Yeah, well, I'm a stupid guy. But it doesn't matter. I'm not ruining this night for you. Go and be merry."

Hilde gave him one last look but thankfully abandoned him to his solitary marathon.

It had been a few years since he had thought about watching _all_ of the Star Wars movies, and he figured he could use the fifteen hours to stare at the hot guys in the film - and that was new, since the last time he had watched it he hadn't thought to even look twice at Ewan McGregor.

He had just settled in with a bag of popcorn and a bottle of wine when his phone rang. He picked it up and answered without looking.

"Hilde, seriously. I'm fine. I've got Ewan McGregor's amazing ass and Hayden Christensen's terrible acting to comfort me. I don't need you to babysit me."

"I didn't realize I was interrupting anything."

It was not Hilde. It was Trowa.

Duo froze at the sound of his voice.

"Hey," he said and then winced at how pathetically desperate he sounded.

"Hey yourself," Trowa used their old greeting, affection in his voice.

"I, uh, what are you up to?"

"Nothing as exciting as you, it sounds like."

Duo laughed.

"I dunno… I think staring at a blank wall is more entertaining than watching Hayden Christensen try to emote."

"Fair point. Do you want me to let you get back to your movies?"

"No, no." Duo reached out and paused the film, unfortunately on a shot of said actor, his mouth open in what could only be described as a whine. "I'd rather talk to you."

"How have you been?" Trowa asked.

_Miserable without you_, Duo wanted to say, but didn't.

"Okay. I survived the end of term - lots of papers to write and a _lot_ of painful undergrad exams to grade. But that's all over now, thankfully. What about you… working on any exciting shows?"

"I just started work on _The Pillowman_, actually," Trowa said.

"Oh, what's it about?"

"A serial killer who uses children's stories as inspiration to murder people."

"Oh, so something lighthearted and fun then," Duo joked.

Trowa chuckled.

"Indeed. Wufei plays the lead role, actually."

"The killer?"

"I can't tell you that, it would spoil the ending. Assuming you would even see it."

"I guess, I mean, my summer is kind of wide open and I really enjoy seeing plays." Duo had a brief internal debate with himself. "Any chance you still need a date for opening night?"

"It's still a few weeks away, but as it happens, I _do_ find myself in need of some company."

Trowa hadn't called it a date and it felt like he was politely dodging Duo's offer.

"Well, if no one else is available I'd be happy to go…" Duo felt like a moron.

"Is there any chance you would like to get together sooner? To talk?"

"Um… I'm pretty solidly booked with a whole lot of nothing, but I could probably squeeze you in. What are you doing right now?"

"Nothing that can't wait until tomorrow," Trowa said. "Do you want to go out or -"

"You could come over to my place, if you want," Duo offered, biting his lip when Trowa didn't immediately respond.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I mean, it's decently clean but not immaculate like your apartment - so you aren't allowed to go OCD on me and start cleaning. But we could hang out here, if you want."

"I'd like that."

"Great. I'll text you my address?"

"I'll see you soon."

Duo hung up, texted Trowa his address and then sat back against the couch and drew in a deep breath.

Trowa wanted to _talk_ again, but since they had broken up three weeks ago, Duo wasn't sure what exactly _this_ talk was going to cover. He also realized that he didn't care - the chance to see Trowa again, to hear his voice, smell his aftershave - Duo would gladly sit through almost anything for that.

He suddenly realized that he was a mess - he hadn't shaved in a few days and he was still wearing his pajamas, even though it was ten at night.

With a muttered curse he jumped up from the couch and ran for the bathroom. If he rushed, he would just be able to shave and shower before Trowa's arrival.

He barely made it. He was in the process of pulling on a clean t-shirt when there was a knock on his door.

He pulled it the rest of the way down and, trying to hop and put on his socks at the same time, he walked to the door.

"Hey."

Trowa looked just as amazing as Duo remembered. Maybe more amazing, Duo decided.

It's good to see you," Duo said, meaning it.

"You too." Trowa smirked slightly and Duo dug his fingernails into his palm.

"Ah, come on in," he stepped aside and ushered Trowa in before closing the door behind him. "Can I get you anything? I've got beer or wine or some liquor somewhere…"

"I'll have whatever you seem to be working on," Trowa said, glancing at the open bottle of red wine on the coffee table. He didn't comment about the lack of a glass.

"Sure. I'll get us some glasses."

Duo escaped to the kitchen.

"Pull yourself together, Duo," he ordered himself. He didn't quite understand why, but Trowa's mere presence made Duo's heart race and his tongue feel thick and heavy in his mouth. It was like being thirteen and realizing girl's breasts had nipples all over again - he was a horny mess.

He took several deep breaths, thought about Betty White, and grabbed two wine glasses.

Trowa was standing in the living room, browsing the bookshelves with interest.

"You and your roommate have eclectic tastes," Trowa said.

"Mostly mine - she's obsessed with Kindle books," Duo said. "Which I guess is a good thing, better for the environment and all, but there's just something about holding a book in your hands, you know?"

"And the smell of them," Trowa added.

Duo had had ample opportunity to admire Trowa's own, far superior library. It made him happy that Trowa appreciated his own.

"So, look, I met someone the other night -"

"I'm not into BDSM or fisting," Trowa said at the same time.

"You met someone?" Trowa asked, his face ashen.

"You don't like - it's not like that. I mean, I _met_ -"

"And you like her a lot?" Trowa guessed, a sad smile on his face.

"What? No, no. _He _was okay, but I - it's not serious, it's nothing, really, I just… I don't know. I feel like I cheated on you with him or something and it's been eating me up which is _stupid_ because -"

The rattle of keys outside of the door drew Duo's attention in that direction.

A moment later, Hilde and Greg entered.

"Hi!" Hilde said brightly. "We decided to watch Star Wars with you for a while before Greg spends the rest of the night ravishing me senseless and -oh. Hi." She looked at Trowa in confusion.

Duo sighed.

"Hilde, Greg, this is Trowa. Trowa, this is my roommate Hilde and her boyfriend, Greg."

"Trowa?" Hilde looked between Duo and the newcomer.

"Yes, _that_ Trowa, I'm sure," Trowa said, a slight, deprecating smile curving his lips.

"Huh." Hilde seemed at a loss for words.

"Well…" Duo said, feeling awkward and ridiculous.

"Since there's four of us, we can play trivial pursuit!" Greg said, a wide grin on his face.

Both Hilde and Duo gave him looks.

"What? Come on, we never get to play - you're leaving me tomorrow and this is the first time Duo hasn't been moping on the couch in weeks, complaining about - oh. _Oh_. You're Trowa."

Duo shook his head and buried his face in his hands.

"Kill me now," he muttered.

"Sweetie, I'm leaving for three months and you _really_ want to spend the night playing Trivial Pursuit?" Hilde sounded as confused as Duo felt.

"Sure. It's better than watching Star Wars, which was your original plan. What about you, Trowa? Up for a friendly challenge?"

"I should warn you that I'm very competitive," Trowa said, his voice colored with amusement.

"Excellent, because these two," Greg jerked a thumb in Hilde and Duo's directions, are pretty cutthroat. It will be nice to have someone else take the heat."

Duo looked at Hilde, silently begging his roommate to murder all of them and end this humiliating interlude.

"Well, I think we're going to need a lot more wine to do this," Hilde said, ignoring his silent pleas. "Sweetie, help me get more wine and a few more glasses while Trowa and Duo set up the game."

Greg followed Hilde out of the room and Duo scratched the back of his neck.

"Listen, you don't have to stay. I -"

"Are you dating him? This guy you met?" Trowa asked.

"Zechs? No. No. It was one night and we didn't even - he said he didn't _do_ dating."

Trowa arched an eyebrow.

"He gave me a blowjob," Duo confessed. "And he told me to give him a call if I wanted a quick fuck sometime."

"And do you?"

"Huh?"

"Do you want to call him and have a quick fuck sometime?"

"No. Of course not. Jesus, Tro - I mean, yeah, it was fun, it felt good but - all I could think about was that I wished it was _you_ going down on me or me going down on you. I'm not -"

Hilde and Greg came back into the room, forestalling any _more_ confessions from Duo.

"Alright, let's get this torture started," Hilde said and shot Duo a sympathetic look.

"Shall we play on teams or individually?" Greg asked.

"Teams, if I can have Duo," Trowa said and the way he said _have_ made Duo look over at him.

Trowa was smirking at him and it seemed completely natural to smile back at him.

"Teams sound good," Hilde agreed. "Plus the game will end faster."

"Hil -"

"Greg, sweetie. I _promise_ we will play more Trivial Pursuit when I get back from New York. But let's just limit it to one game tonight."

She leaned over and kissed him and Greg sighed in defeat.

"Now, everyone drink up and let's get started," Hilde commanded, holding out her glass for Duo to fill.

Three hours later the game finally ended. Duo felt confident that he had had at least an entire bottle of wine himself, and felt that the others had managed to put away at least as much. He felt exhausted and drunk and, strangely, happy.

It had been three hours of petty arguments about the questions and answers on the cards, but he and Trowa had made a good team and sitting beside Trowa on the couch, their bodies touching from shoulder to leg, had filled Duo with the pleasant buzz of arousal. That, combined with the wine, had him feeling light headed by the end of the game.

"Well," Hilde sighed. "After that miserable defeat I think we're going to call it a night." She smiled at Trowa. "It was good to meet you."

"You as well," Trowa said. He and Greg nodded at each other and it made Duo snort a laugh.

"What?" Trowa asked him once Hilde's door had closed behind them.

"Nothing, just you and Greg doing the bro nod thing. That was a pretty straight thing to do."

Trowa arched an eyebrow.

"So now I'm not gay enough for you?" He teased.

Duo wanted to lean over and kiss him, but he hesitated, unsure of Trowa's reception.

Instead, Duo packed up the game. As he did he noticed the sheer volume of empty wine bottles.

"Shit. We drank a lot more than I thought."

"I'll say," Trowa agreed, picking up some of the bottles and following Duo into the kitchen to put them into the recycling bin.

"Are you even okay to drive, Tro?" Duo had to ask. Trowa sighed.

"No. I'll call a cab. I haven't had this much to drink since I was in grad school."

Duo bit his lip. Things were weird between them, and he wasn't sure _what_ things were between them anymore, but Duo knew, really knew now, what he wanted.

"You could just stay here, you know. For the night."

Trowa looked back at the lumpy couch with a skeptical eye.

"No, I mean, you could… you couldsleepwithmeinmybed?" He said in a rush and felt his face heat up when Trowa looked back at him.

"You would be okay with that?"

"Well yeah, or I wouldn't have offered. I mean, I've missed you and I don't know. You can take a cab if you want, but you could save some money and -"

"I'm not that worried about the ten dollars it would cost to get me home," Trowa remarked drily. "But if you _want_ me to sleep with you I'd like that."

Duo nodded.

"Yeah. I'd like that a lot. I mean - well, I think really _just_ sleeping though. I've had a lot to drink and I think I'd only embarrass myself if I tried anything else. I've never had much stamina with this much to drink and I just…"

"We still don't really know where we are with each other anyway," Trowa pointed out.

Duo flushed again.

"That too. I mean, I know where I _want_ to be with you."

Trowa smirked again and leaned down to kiss him. Duo realized it was the first time they had kissed in weeks. It was sloppy and the wine made the kiss feel slow and distant, but Duo enjoyed it nonetheless.

"I like kissing you when I'm sober better," he confessed when Trowa pulled away.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, that was still nice, but it wasn't as… you know, life alteringly erotic."

Trowa was giving him an odd, pleased look that Duo couldn't quite figure out. He wished he hadn't had so much to drink.

"Uh, I'm just going to brush my teeth, but let me show you the bedroom?"

He walked Trowa to his room and realized that he hadn't made up the bed that morning. He jerked the sheets and comforter up and shoved all of his books onto the nightstand. Trowa stood in the doorway, smirking at him.

"Sorry, it's a mess."

Trowa shrugged.

"It's a little chaotic," he agreed. "But it looks like you."

Duo had to grin at that. They stood staring at each other for a long moment and then Duo remembered what he had been doing.

"Right. Um, I've got some sweat pants if you want them?"

"You sleep in sweat pants?"

"Only in the winter. I usually just stick with boxers for the rest of the year. You?"

Trowa's mouth quirked upwards.

"I'll sleep in whatever makes you feel comfortable, Duo."

His brain felt mushy as he tried to figure out what Trowa meant.

"I sleep naked," Trowa supplied, looking amused at Duo's frown of concentration.

"Oh. Oh." Duo scratched the back of his neck, wondering if Trowa would mind his next question."

"I'm fine sleeping in my boxers, Duo."

"No, no it's not that. I mean, I was just thinking - you can sleep naked, you know. If you want to?"

"Do you want me to?"

Duo felt his face redden and he cursed himself for acting like a stupid, virginal teenager.

"Yeah, I do." He admitted.

"Okay. Then that's what I'll do."

"I'll just, um, just gotta brush my teeth. I'll close the door." Duo walked out of his bedroom and closed the door behind himself. He leaned back on it and tried to will himself out of his drunken state. He didn't have much success.

He brushed his teeth and swiped his pits with deodorant, just in case and then stared at himself in the mirror. He didn't look his best. His eyes were slightly bloodshot and his lips were stained dark with the wine but he didn't look _terrible_ either.

_Just nothing like Quatre Winner_.

He sighed and turned off the bathroom light before going back into the bedroom.

Trowa was already in bed, the comforter drawn up to his waist so that only his golden torso was exposed. It was enough to make Duo's already dry mouth feel like the Sahara.

Duo closed his door and felt incredibly shy and awkward.

"Do you want me to turn out the light?" Trowa asked and reached for the lamp on the nightstand beside him.

"NO. I mean, you can, if you want? I'm just going to take off my shirt and my shorts. And my socks," he added.

Trowa looked amused.

"Okay. I think I'll just sit here. Unless you need help?"

The thought of Trowa undressing him sent a surge of lust through Duo.

"I think I can manage it," he assured Trowa and pulled off his t-shirt to prove his point.

He put the shirt in the laundry hamper and turned to see Trowa watching him, his green eyes hooded.

Duo hesitated at his belt. Under Trowa's gaze he found himself hard. When Trowa leaned back in the bed and the comforter slid down, just enough to reveal the trail of dark hair that led downwards from his navel, Duo felt his cock twitch.

There was clearly no way he could avoid Trowa seeing his erection, so he shucked out of his shorts and socks as quickly as he could and just stood there.

Trowa's gaze drifted down to the tent in Duo's boxers and he licked his lips.

Duo felt his cock twitch again at that and then he felt a wet spot of precum on his boxers.

"Are you coming?" Trowa asked him after another moment, a smirk on his face.

"Not yet. No, it was just pre-cum."

Trowa arched an eyebrow.

"I meant are you coming to bed."

"Oh." Duo flushed and hastily joined Trowa in the bed, jerking the comforter up to his chest.

"Sorry."

"You don't have to apologize," Trowa assured him. He propped himself up on his side and looked down at Duo. "I was enjoying the view."

Duo swallowed hard.

"I like the way you look at me," he confessed. "It makes me forget to breathe, sometimes."

Trowa smirked again.

"You do the same to me," he said and Duo felt his heart thud loudly in his chest.

"Really?" He found it hard to believe that anything upset Trowa's equilibrium.

Trowa nodded. He leaned down and kissed Duo. The kiss was slower, and better than the one in the kitchen. Duo could tell the wine was working its way through his body and fading. He could appreciate the rasp of Trowa's tongue now and the smoothness of his lips.

He shifted closer and found himself coming into contact with a very naked, very erect Trowa. He hesitated for a moment, trying to adjust to the sensation. It was very different than the feeling of rubbing together while their erections were trapped under layers of clothing. Trowa was definitely bigger than Duo had thought and he felt incredibly hard.

Duo put his hands on Trowa's lower back. It was the first time he had touched him without a shirt on and Duo felt like an idiot for not doing it sooner. Trowa's skin was smooth and firm and it felt amazing under Duo's hands.

He angled his hips, trying to feel more of Trowa, and it brought their erections together and startled a gasp out of Duo.

"Holy shit," he breathed when Trowa pulled away to give him a concerned look.

"Too much?" Trowa asked, already easing away.

"No." Duo tightened his grip on Trowa, pulling him back, and their erections bumped together again.

Trowa closed his eyes momentarily and his entire body seemed to tense up.

"Not too much," Duo explained. "It just feels so much better without our pants on."

Trowa smirked, a slow curl of his lips that had Duo responding with a similar expression.

"Is this what you want to do?"

"This?"

Trowa gave a small thrust of his hips and Duo groaned.

"Oh. That."

"Yes. That."

"I know I said I just wanted to sleep."

"We can do that. You're drunk and you might regret doing this later."

"No. I don't feel that drunk anymore and I don't think I'd regret doing this. I just don't want to embarrass myself."

Trowa arched an eyebrow.

"It's not some kind of competitive event with a scoring system, Duo. You aren't going to embarrass yourself."

"There's a really good chance I'd last almost no time at all, Tro, which I think is pretty embarrassing."

Trowa actually chuckled.

"You're young. It happens. Besides, I'll take it as a compliment."

"You should," Duo mused. "You make me feel things more intensely than anyone I've ever been with before."

Trowa stared at him for a long moment.

"Take off your boxers for me," he said eventually, his voice soft, the words more a suggestion than a command.

Duo moved away from Trowa and pulled off his boxers under the comforter. He laid there awkwardly for a moment, unsure if Trowa wanted him to be on top of him or -

Trowa reached out and grasped Duo's right hip, shifting him closer and bringing their naked erections into contact.

Duo closed his eyes.

"Jesus," he breathed.

He opened his eyes to find Trowa looking at him, a serious expression on his face.

"Can I touch you?" Duo asked him.

Trowa blinked, his serious expression turning into one of confusion.

"Do you want to?"

Duo nodded.

"Yes."

Trowa kissed him, a brief, searing brush of his lips and tongue that left Duo leaking more precum.

"You don't have to," Trowa assured him.

"I want to. I really, really want to touch your cock," Duo said.

Trowa thrust forward at his words, rocking his pelvis against Duo's and eliciting a reflexive response from Duo.

Trowa kissed him again and pulled him close, pressing their bodies together from chest to knee and it felt amazing, being this close and this naked.

Duo shifted his legs, opening them and trying to bring Trowa closer, desperate to feel his cock moving against his own.

Trowa rocked against him, setting a slow, hard pace that had Duo gasping into his mouth. He felt himself get closer and closer to orgasam.

He reached between their bodies and his fingers brushed against both his and Trowa's cocks. His hesitation evaporated as he felt the slick bead of precum on the tip of Trowa's cock and he rubbed it downwards, forming a loose fist around Trowa.

Trowa groaned.

"God, Duo, yes. _Please_."

The words filled Duo with confidence and he pulled away enough from Trowa so that he could get a better grip on him. It was weird - it felt similar to his own cock but different enough that he felt a thrill of excitement.

"How do you like it, Tro? What do you want me to do?"

"This is fine," Trowa panted and squeezed his eyes closed. "Yes. Just like this. God, Duo. Yes. _Yes. _Your hand feels so good and oh, fuck - stop, stop." Trowa shifted away and Duo reluctantly released him.

"I'm sorry. What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing," Trowa assured him and kissed him. "Nothing. I was too close and I want you to get off this way," Trowa positioned himself above Duo and brought their groins back together.

"Are you sure? I don't mind - fuck, Tro, do that again."

Trowa smirked and rotated his hips again and Duo was sure he would come soon.

"And again?" Trowa asked, a wicked smirk on his face.

"Yes, Tro. Again." This time Duo moved his hips upward to meet Trowa's thrust and both men groaned.

"God you're a natural at this, Duo," Trowa said. "You feel amazing and the way you move against me -"

"It feels right," Duo gasped. "This feels so damned good and - Tro, I'm going to come."

Trowa kissed him, swallowing his moan of release and a moment later Duo felt the combined rush of his and Trowa's cum wash across his stomach.

Trowa continued to kiss him, easing him back from that moment of bliss.

"Thank you," Trowa said, pulling away and looking down at him.

"My pleasure," Duo responded with a smirk. "Seriously. Anytime."

Trowa chuckled and rolled to his side. He glanced down at Duo's stomach.

"We seem to have made a bit of a mess," he commented.

Duo reached down by his feet and grabbed the boxers he had shed. He used them to wipe off first himself and then Trowa, his hands lingering on the other man's flaccid penis for a moment.

"I guess maybe I'll sleep naked tonight, too," Duo mused, tossing the boxers in the direction of his laundry hamper.

"You won't hear any complaints from me," Trowa assured him.

Duo turned off the light and settled back against the pillows.

"Do you like to cuddle?" He had to ask after a moment of staring up at the dark ceiling.

"I've never tried it," Trowa confessed after a moment.

Duo rolled over to face him. He could barely make out Trowa's body in the darkness, illuminated dimly by the streetlight shining in through the window.

"Are you serious? Is that not something… do gay guys not like to cuddle?"

Trowa shrugged one shoulder.

"I'm sure some of them do, just none of the one's I've ever been with."

Duo frowned.

"Do you… want to try it?"

"What do I do?"

"Well, we can start off with something easy." Duo realized it was the first time in their relationship that _he_ knew more about something than Trowa. "Do you want to be the little spoon or the big spoon?"

"What?"

"Do you want me to hug _you_ from behind or do you want to hug me from behind."

Trowa took a long moment to answer that, and Duo wondered if he wasn't interested.

"I think I'd like to feel you behind me," Trowa eventually answered.

Duo scooted over, closer to Trowa, and waited for the other man to roll onto his side before he settled in behind him and wrapped one arm around his waist.

Trowa shifted backwards, settling against Duo more firmly, and it brought Duo's cock against the small of his back. He forced himself to think about Betty White until he finally fell asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Standard Disclaimers: Not mine.

Warnings: angst, language, yaoi

Pairings: 2x3, 3x4, 1x5, past 1x3, past 2xH

Author's Note: How did I completely forget to mention this was inspired by _Kissing Jessica Stein_?! If you haven't seen that movie - see it now!

And I'm sorry about the time between updates - work got crazy but is settling back down now.

_The Road Not Taken_

Chapter Ten

Trowa woke up feeling disorientated. He was definitely not in his own bed and he had definitely had too much to drink the night before.

And he was being suffocated by something hot and heavy.

He slowly opened his eyes, wincing at the light that assaulted him and as he did the night before came back to him.

He was in Duo's bed, and it felt like it was Duo, softly snoring away, who was currently draped across his back.

Trowa took a moment to marvel at this situation. Twenty four hours ago he had been alone, trying to figure out if he should even call Duo and risk humiliation, and now… now he was waking up naked in bed with Duo. And last night Duo had touched him, had almost gotten him off with his hand alone and Trowa felt such an amazing sense of relief at that.

He eased himself out from under Duo and out of the bed.

Duo rolled onto his side, seeking the warm spot Trowa had just vacated, and the sheets pooled low around his thighs.

Trowa couldn't help but feel like a letch as he looked over Duo's naked body. He had a lean, wiry build and was almost completely hairless, save for the dark nest around his groin and a sprinkling on his legs. He was very young, Trowa couldn't help but think, and incredibly vulnerable looking as he slept.

He turned away from the captivating sight and hunted for his boxer briefs and his pants. He pulled them on and slipped out of the room, intent on rinsing out his mouth at the very least.

Once in the bathroom he made use of the facilities, emptying his full bladder before swiping some toothpaste onto a finger and trying to scrub his teeth and mouth clean.

His hair was a mess, as it usually was in the morning, and he was just vain enough to try to get in under some semblance of control before he crept out of the bathroom to rejoin Duo.

Except that as soon as he left the bathroom he found himself face to face with Hilde, Duo's roommate.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi," he responded, immediately on edge by her tone.

"I was hoping to catch you before I left."

"Oh?" He had sort of been hoping for the exact opposite. From their hints last night, Trowa could only imagine what Duo had told Hilde and her boyfriend about him.

"I'm putting on some coffee before I go, want to join me for a cup?"

It was definitely not an invitation, and Trowa reluctantly followed her into the kitchen.

"So you spent the night."

"Yes, I did."

"Does that mean you and Duo are back together?"

"If that's what he wants."

"Uh huh." She regarded him over the percolating coffee pot. "I want to hate you, for what you did to him."

Trowa winced. He didn't really blame her for disliking anyone who hurt Duo.

"But the way he looked at you last night… Trowa, if you break his heart again, I _will_ kill you. He's my best friend, my soul mate, and I don't want to see him as miserable as you made him before ever again."

"I can't promise you anything, Hilde," Trowa said, simultaneously touched and irritated with her protectiveness towards Duo. "But I don't _want_ to make him miserable. I want to make him happy."

She looked at him for a long moment and then sighed.

"Good. Because he's the most amazing person I've ever met and you'd better make sure he feels that way around you too. There, I've done my duty as the meddling best friend. And now I have to go to New York."

She poured the entire coffee pot into a travel mug.

"Thanks for the coffee?" He joked.

She smirked at him.

"You wouldn't be able to crawl back into bed with Duo and pretend to wake up when he did if you had coffee breath, now would you?"

Trowa decided that he liked Hilde, a lot.

"Travel safely," he told her.

"I always do," she said and then she left.

Trowa went back into Duo's bedroom and took off his clothes before easing himself back onto the bed. He had to shift Duo's body away to make room for himself, but Duo, still sleeping, complied with only a grumble.

Trowa lay on his side and wrapped one arm around Duo from behind. What had Duo called this? The big spoon. He had to smile at that.

He had never fallen asleep before with someone wrapped around him like Duo had been last night and he was amazed at how easy it had been to drift off. Usually he liked a fair amount of space to himself in bed - he and Heero had been terrible at sharing a bed because they both prefered to have as much space to stretch out as possible - but he hadn't minded Duo's proximity at all. The steady drum of his heartbeat had been soothing and the press of his hard body had felt oddly familiar.

Of course, thoughts about Duo's hard body were making _Trowa_ hard and he shifted his lower body away from Duo. He wasn't sure how receptive Duo would be to waking up with a hard dick nudging at his ass.

Trowa idly traced over the planes of Duo's chest and up to the large tattoo that he had finally seen last night. It was some kind of intricate Celtic knot that started just below his collarbone and extended nearly six inches down, stretching several inches wide. He made a mental note to ask Duo about that, and about the scar he had noticed weeks ago, months now, at the base of Duo's neck. It was a long, horizontal slash that had the faded, white impression of an old wound.

He wasn't sure how long they lay there, Duo asleep in his arms and Trowa trying to catalogue his naked body, but eventually Duo yawned himself awake and stretched.

Which of course brought him back into contact with Trowa's dick.

He felt Duo's entire body tense up and then the other man rolled over and actually smiled at him.

"I guess someone's happy to see me?" Duo joked.

"Always," Trowa said. He leaned down to kiss him but Duo scooted away quickly.

Trowa frowned.

"Sorry," Duo said sheepishly, "I just need to brush my teeth - I - just give me one second."

Duo rooted around on the floor and pulled on the shorts he had discarded last night before leaving Trowa alone in the room.

It took him a little longer than a second to return, but when he did he was grinning.

"Looks like we've got the place to ourselves - Hilde's already gone and Greg must have left earlier too."

"I saw her on her way out," Trowa admitted.

Duo arched an eyebrow.

"Did she threaten to kill you or anything? If she did, I'm really sorry, and really, really embarrassed."

"It's fine. We just talked while she made coffee."

"Just talked… I'm going to have to assume it was about me."

Duo approached the bed, looking shy.

"Of course it was. She cares about you a lot. But, if it's okay with you, I'd rather focus on the here and now?"

Duo smirked.

"Really? And just what would the here and now entail?"

"Well for starters you need to take off your shorts and get back in bed with me. It's rude to leave guests unattended, Duo."

Duo chuckled and started to undo the fly of his shorts but then he hesitated.

"Um, I have to ask you something first," Duo said, suddenly looking nervous.

"Okay." Trowa sat up in the bed and Duo cautiously sat down on the edge, clearly ready to jump off at a moment's notice.

"So, when you broke up with me a few weeks ago, I thought it was because, well I _thought_ it had to do with the whole BDSM, fisting thing - but if you're not into that -"

"I'm not," Trowa assured him, hating Quatre just a little bit more. "I tried it one time, but it's really not my thing. At all," he repeated for both his and Duo's sakes.

"Right, that's good to know, but if that's not why - then what were _you_ breaking up with me for? You said that I wasn't ready to be with you - and I thought that meant the other stuff, but now… I feel like we still need to talk about things before we just fall back into bed with each other."

Duo looked miserable and Trowa had to sigh. He was right. They _did_ need to talk.

"Duo, this is all… very new for you, and I actually enjoy getting to experience it with you."

"But?" Duo prompted.

"But I wonder just far you want to _go_ down this road." Trowa hesitated. "You're twenty three. You've spent your life as a straight man and now you're… not as straight as you thought. But how _gay_ are you?"

"I don't really know. I mean, when we broke up I was a mess because I couldn't figure that out. Am I just in love with _you_ as a person or am I really attracted to men and never considered it before? I check guys out now, you know? Which I never did before and I _do_ think they're attractive and… I don't know. No one else is _you_."

Trowa found himself swallowing hard at Duo's words, _Am I just in love with you?_ He didn't think Duo was even aware he had said that, and he didn't think pointing it out at this moment would help this conversation progress much. But _still_, Duo had said those words. It made Trowa mentally stumble as he considered _his _next words.

"When I was your age, I'd been out for years and I had been sexually active since I was in high school but I was still twenty three - I was still going out and hooking up with new guys every few weeks - I wasn't interested in settling down and finding _the one_. I was more concerned with enjoying myself - and other men - as much as I could. But I'm _not_ twenty three anymore. I turn thirty in a few months. My best friends are in the process of _adopting_ and I've spent the last five years in a… in _some_ kind of a relationship with a man who despises commitment. I _want_ to find _the one_. I want to settle down and start a family."

"I want those things too," Duo said, "I mean, not so much the hooking up with new guys every few weeks."

"Are you sure?"

Duo frowned.

"Yes? I mean, neither of us is proposing right now, right?"

Trowa shook his head.

"No, of course not."

"Okay, just checking. But I guess I've always been kind of… I don't know, a serial monogamist? I dated Sylvia for a year, Hilde for a year, and -"

"Hilde? Your roommate?"

Duo nodded and then gave an apologetic shrug at Trowa's questioning look.

"She doesn't go for the whole marriage-kids-capitalist thing. We tried to make it work but… we kind of want different things out of life."

Trowa wanted to think it was strange that Duo and Hilde lived together after a failed relationship, but he and Heero still maintained a close friendship - so perhaps it wasn't so unusual?

"I'm _not_ experienced, obviously, if that's what we're talking about?" Duo broke into his thoughts. "So I get it, if this is frustrating or boring or -"

"No. It's none of those things. I said it before, I enjoy being with you as you experience these things - but how much do you _want_ to experience? Are you going to wake up in six months and wish you were… with Hilde instead of me?" He voiced the fear that had plagued him since the start - of course, he hadn't been concerned with it being _Hilde_ Duo would prefer, before.

"No. I'm not. Hilde and I aren't - we're friends. She's my best friend and I love her to death, but I don't want to be with her. Not like I want to be with you. If you're asking me if you think I'm going to wake up in six months and wish I wasn't gay or something - I have no idea - have _you _ever done that? Is that even a thing?"

"I don't know," Trowa confessed. "I've never dated a straight guy before." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm _not_ a straight guy, though," Duo said, a hint of irritation in his voice, " Maybe I'm not 100% gay - because yes, I still find women attractive - but I'm bisexual, at the very least. I'm not going to wake up in six months and suddenly think "ugh - all that sex I enjoy, it's just wrong.""

"Do you enjoy the sex? Touching me and having me touch you?"

"Yes, of course."

"Last night was the first time you actually touched me," Trowa had to point out.

Duo looked sheepish.

"I know." He sighed. "It's not - I don't know."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Yeah, I mean… I thought it was kind of obvious how much I enjoyed last night."

Trowa shook his head.

"No, did you enjoy touching my dick?"

Duo nodded.

"Yeah, it was… it wasn't like masterbating, which I thought it would be. It was...I don't know. It was kind of amazing seeing _you_ like that, knowing it was me doing that to you."

"Was it something you want to do again?"

Duo offered him a crooked smile.

"I'm thinking yeah, as often as possible."

_That_ was certainly satisfying to hear, but Trowa decided to just go ahead and lay all of his concerns on the table now.

"What about anything else? Oral sex? Anal sex? How far do you want to go, Duo?"

Duo bit his lower lip.

"That's a good question," he admitted with a sigh. He held Trowa's gaze for a moment and then nodded. "I get it now. You're wondering how much of your time you're wasting with me, yeah? You want to find someone to spend your life with and start a family and presumably fuck senseless as often as you can and instead you're stuck with _me_."

"I'm not _stuck_ with you and I'm not wasting my time," Trowa said. "I'd like to figure out if you're someone I could spend the rest of my life with."

"But I'm not Quatre," Duo said.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I'm not like him - I'm not your type or whatever _and_ I still don't know what the fuck to do and -"

"Duo, I don't have a _type,"_ Trowa interrupted.

Duo frowned.

"Quatre said I wasn't your type. He said -"

"He also told you I was into fisting and BDSM. He was jealous and he was trying to scare you off." Trowa leaned forward and kissed Duo, waiting for Duo's muscles to loosen and for the other man to kiss him back before he gently eased away.

"I want to fuck _you_ senseless, Duo, not him, not some 'type' I'm supposed to have."

Duo swallowed hard.

"But what if I don't want that? What if I'm just not… you said before that we didn't _have_ to have anal sex."

"We don't," Trowa assured him.

Duo spent a long moment staring at him.

"But you want to."

"I… enjoy it," Trowa allowed.

"And if I _never_ want to do it?"

Trowa knew that if Duo did not ever want to have anal sex it would likely, in the end, drive them apart. It wasn't as if Trowa was particularly obsessed with anal sex - but if Duo didn't want to bottom for him or top Trowa, then he knew he would always wonder whether or not Duo really wanted to be intimate with another man. He knew that some gay men avoided anal sex - knew some who viewed it as some kind of homage to heterosexuality and felt that any man being a bottom was effeminate - but he wasn't one of those men. He _liked_ being topped by another man and he enjoyed being buried deep inside someone.

"We already agreed no one is proposing today, Duo," Trowa said, sighing and fighting back a nagging sense of doom. "Three weeks ago I was convinced you would never touch my dick - and I'm not saying that in three weeks I expect you want to have anal sex. I'm just saying that I understand that you are still trying to figure yourself out."

"But you need more," Duo said with a sigh of his own. He drew his knees up to his chest, looking very, _very_ young.

"I don't need _everything_, but I don't like the feeling of waiting for you to run away if I go to far. I don't like…" Trowa struggled to figure out the right words. "When you hesitate - when you get that look in your eyes as though you have _no_ idea what you're doing and don't know if you're going to regret something - it makes me feel like I'm… I don't want to _force_ you to do anything."

"You aren't," Duo said. "Seriously - I've never felt like you're forcing me to do anything. And I'm not worried about regretting anything. When I hesitate it's… fuck, Tro, I really _don't_ have any idea what I'm doing and you do - you're experienced and you're really, _really_ good at this. I just…"

"I intimidate you," Trowa realized.

"Your experience and your skill do, yeah," Duo admitted and he looked miserable. "I think about all the things I _want_ to do with you - to you - and I just… it's not going to feel as good as it does when _you _touch me. It's like - it's like that fucking blow job Zechs gave me. How the hell am I going to manage anything like that? Tro, you've got a big cock and I _want_ to…" Duo trailed off, his face completely red.

"You want to what?" Trowa prompted him.

Duo made a frustrated growl.

"I _want _to stop feeling like a fucking teenager talking about sex for the first time," he muttered but then looked directly at Trowa. "I want to touch your cock. I want to get you off with my hands and I want to taste you - I want to taste your cum and I want to give you a blow job but what if I suck at it?"

Duo looked absolutely stricken.

"Well," Trowa said cautiously, "if you suck at it, that sounds like you're doing something right."

It took Duo a moment but then he gave Trowa one of his crooked grins and shook his head.

"You _know _what I mean."

"I do," Trowa agreed. "And I'm sorry. I wish I'd met you ten years ago so that - wait, I definitely don't," Trowa amended, doing the mental math, "because then you would have been thirteen and that's creepier than I can handle. I wish I wasn't seven years older than you and a _lot_ more experienced so that you wouldn't feel like it mattered, because it _doesn't_. The first time I gave someone head," Trowa shook his head, unable to stop himself from blushing slightly at the completely embarrassing memory, "I tried to deepthroat him and had to run to the bathroom so I didn't vomit all over him… but I _learned_ how to do it better, so that my partner enjoyed it but also so that _I_ enjoyed it."

Duo nodded slowly.

"I hear you say that, but… what are the odds that _you_ are going to wake up in six months and wish I was Quatre?"

That question hit Trowa hard.

"I'm never going to wish you were Quatre," Trowa said with absolute certainty.

"But, you're not convinced that in six months you're going to look back and wish you'd been with someone else instead of teaching me all this stuff," Duo concluded.

And wasn't that the reason Trowa had thought to end this the first time? In six months _would_ he wake up and realize he should be out there, looking for someone to spend his life with - someone who _wanted_ to have anal sex and who knew they were gay and embraced that? Or, in six months, would Duo be that person? Or, in six months, would Trowa care that Duo wasn't that person.

Trowa wasn't so sure he cared _now_ that Duo wasn't that person.

"I -"

His phone rang.

Trowa stared at it on the nightstand, merrily vibrating away as a robotic tone filled the room. He looked at the caller ID. It was Tim.

"I'm sorry," he said to Duo, "I need to answer this."

Duo's lips tightened into a thin line but he shrugged.

Trowa grabbed the phone and answered it.

"Tim?"

"Trowa?" Came the somewhat surly response.

"Is anything wrong?"

"Oh, not much, you know, just told the kids I couldn't take them to the zoo today because I had to work…. and then I show up _at_ work and find myself completely alone, without, you know, the scenic designer here to work with me… anything wrong with _you_?"

"Fuck." Trowa looked at the time on his phone. It was already 10:30 - he and Tim had agreed to meet at 10:00 to start work that day. "I'm sorry, I had no idea it was this late. Give me fifteen minutes and I'll be there, okay?"

"Yeah, well -"

"With donuts and that fancy coffee you like," Trowa added. Tim was one of the best painters he had ever worked with and Trowa did _not_ want to be on his bad side.

"Donuts, huh? That because you're late or did you get laid last night? Because if you got laid I need to thank this guy in person - you've been a complete ass -"

"Goodbye, Tim," Trowa interrupted, not keen on hearing just how difficult it had been for the painter to tolerate Trowa while he and Duo had been apart.

He hung up the phone and gave Duo an apologetic look.

"Duo, I'm sorry. I need to go to work - I had no idea it was this late in the morning."

Duo shrugged one shoulder and moved off of the bed, giving Trowa room to get up.

"Sure."

Duo stood silently watching him as Trowa rooted around for his clothes and started to dress.

"So is this… it, then?" Duo asked once Trowa was dressed.

Trowa looked at him. Duo looked forlorn and miserable.

_He loves me,_ Trowa couldn't help but think, _he loves me and I'm completely fucked_.

"Come with me?" He asked.

Duo frowned.

"Where?"

"To the shop. I need to do some painting - it's going to be a few hours - but I don't want to leave things like this between us."

Duo's frown only intensified.

"So you want to continue this discussion at your work? In front of other people?"

"No. I'd really like to pause this discussion and just spend time with you." Trowa shrugged. "It won't be the most exciting six hours but any time spent with you is better - it's not a waste. Ever."

Duo looked at him, silent and questioning.

"And I'll buy you dinner," Trowa added.

Duo's lips quirked upwards, just slightly.

"Who could refuse that?"

-o-

The car ride over to the theatre was silent and awkward.

When Trowa made his single pit stop at Krispy Kreme, Duo followed him inside, feeling out of place and more than a little miserable.

"What kind of donuts do you like?" Trowa asked him as they waited in line. It seemed as if he had completely compartmentalized their earlier conversation and Duo felt irritated by that.

"Crullers," he said, though he was in no mood for donuts.

Trowa nodded.

"I've always been a fan of those, too," he said. "Most donuts have too much sugar on them."

Duo nodded in agreement. Of course they had similar taste in donuts - didn't they have similar taste in everything else?

Everything except for anal sex, at least.

"Duo."

Trowa's voice sounded remarkably even, and when Duo looked at him he _wanted_ to scowl, but Trowa's eyes actually seemed to be filled with the same turmoil that Duo felt.

"I love you too."

The words took Duo completely by surprise.

He swallowed hard and had to look away from Trowa.

"I thought you missed that part," he confessed. When he had blurted it out before, Trowa had had no reaction and Duo held been grateful for that - it was bad enough that Trowa still wanted to end this, worse if he realized how much Duo cared for him.

But he did know - and now Duo knew that Trowa loved him too.

He sighed.

"Nothing's ever easy, is it?" He mused.

"Not the good stuff," Trowa responded and shrugged. "We'll figure it out."

And just like that, the dark weight of impending doom was lifted - yes, their relationship was a bit of a mess and _Duo_ was more than a bit of a mess and had a lot of things to figure out, but Trowa clearly thought this could be worth it, that Duo could be worth it.

By the time they arrived at the theatre, Duo had developed a mental checklist for further research - when he had gone to Capulets the last time, he had neglected to find much of anything helpful about vanilla homosexual sexual practices and still had just the internet to go on. He felt confident that if he had more research he would feel less awkward around Trowa.

When they walked into the theatre they were greeted by an irate man in an orange Hawaiian shirt and gray hair that seemed to sprout from his head at improbable angles.

"Bout damn time you got here," the man grumbled and snatched the box of donuts from Trowa with one hand and the steaming hot coffee cup with the other.

Trowa smirked.

"Tim, I'd like you to meet Duo Maxwell. Duo, this is Tim Parati. He's one of the best scenic painters in Atlanta, and definitely the craziest."

Tim smirked for a moment and then looked over at Duo.

"He a new intern or is he just here as eye candy for us?" Tim asked.

Duo felt himself flush.

"Ah, I'm just messing with ya, kid," Tim said and chuckled. "You're too pale for my tastes, anyway." With that, Tim took the donuts and coffee off to the other side of the shop, where several shelves of paint cans were arrayed beside a large sink and several closed cabinets.

"His partner is a drag queen. Her specialty is Beyonce," Trowa told Duo.

"Oh. _Oh."_ Duo looked at Tim again. The middle aged man in the Hawaiian shirt was _not_ someone Duo would have pegged for a gay man dating a black drag queen.

Trowa smirked.

"Don't worry, I don't mind how pale your skin in," he assured Duo.

It looked like he was about to kiss Duo, but then Tim called out.

"Quit flirting with him and let's get to work!"

Trowa rolled his eyes.

"Come on. I need you to help us spatter some blood."

"Some - _what_?"

Trowa smirked at Duo's shock.

"This is for _The Pillowman_. I told you it's about a serial killer? Well, the scenery is kind of… figurative and metaphorical. So the platforms and walls are like children's blocks."

He gestured to the floor of the shop, where rows of thin wooden sheets had been laid out with only a few inches between them.

"These are the facing pieces for the platforms and the walls. We're going to paint them today using a spatter technique. You're going to go through and spatter the blood -"

"Blood? Real blood?"

Trowa gave him a look.

"No. It's a mix of red paint, brown paint and clear sealer - but you're going to spatter that first, then Tim is going to come behind you and spatter water, and then I'm going to finish it off with some scumbling."

"Scumbling?"

"I'm going to blend it together just a bit, to make it look old and faded and a bit less like blood all over everything."

"Uh huh. I've still got no idea what you want me to do."

Trowa chuckled.

"Here, let me show you."

Duo followed him over to Tim and the cans of paint.

Trowa looked through the cans until he found one labeled 'dark blood' and pulled the lid off. Duo watched as he stirred the dark, thin liquid that _did_ look a lot like blood. Trowa then grabbed a brush and a wooden dowel.

"Step one is to dip the brush into the paint," Trowa demonstrated. "Then give it one solid shake to the side, to get the heaviest part of the paint off," he demonstrated again, shaking the brush once to his side and a spray of dark red paint landed on the floor. "Then you tap the ferrule of the brush - the metal part here? - against the dowel, like this. And you get an even-ish spray."

Duo watched as Trowa covered one of the wooden sheets in drops of the paint - some big and some small - but he walked around the flat, tapping the brush, and creating an amazing texture.

"I can't do that," Duo said. "I'm going to mess it up."

"If you do then we'll just fix it," Trowa assured him.

"I've never done anything like this before."

Trowa shrugged.

"First time for everything."

Trowa held his gaze for a moment, and Duo realized they weren't really talking about paint anymore.

He sighed and took the brush, dowel and paint can from Trowa.

"You're sure?"

"Of course."

Trowa stepped back and watched Duo dip the paint brush into the can.

"Good - now shake it once to the side - good. And now start tapping it against the dowel."

Duo held the dowel and the brush in front of him and gave the brush a solid tap, as he had seen Trowa do, and was rewarded with a shower of paint on the flat - and all over himself.

He could taste paint in his mouth, feel it on his face, his hair and his arms. He glared at Trowa.

The taller man had a hand over his mouth and his eyes were narrowed in mirth.

"Are you _laughing_ at me?" Duo demanded.

Trowa nodded and took a moment to pull himself together.

"I'm sorry. I probably should have warned you."

Duo arched an eyebrow - and he could feel paint on his forehead now.

"Probably?"

Trowa shrugged one shoulder. He didn't seem that apologetic at all.

"Spattering is always a bit messy - that's why I asked you to wear old clothes - and your first time is usually… very messy. But it gets better."

Duo glared and was about to say something, but Tim stepped between them.

"Come on, we can't stand here chatting all day - keep going so I can spray the water after you."

Duo sighed.

"You'd better be buying me a fucking steak dinner after this," he muttered.

"Anything you want," Trowa assured him.

Duo glumly dipped the paintbrush back in the can and repeated the process - adding another liberal coating of paint to the wood on the floor and to himself.

Four hours later, as he stood back and surveyed their combined efforts, he was forced to admit that it looked amazing - and that it appeared as though he had not, in fact, screwed anything up. The blood spatter had been thinned down by the water that Tim sprayed after him, and then Trowa had blended everything together so that each of the panels looked like very old, very worn wood - and faint drops of dark red shown through in some places, as though blood might have been spattered on the walls at one point and later cleaned away.

"This looks creepy," he concluded.

Tim snorted.

"Not as creepy as you, kiddo. You look like an extra from _Carrie_."

Duo looked down - there were splotches of the blood paint all over his arms, shirt, shorts and legs. He could only imagine what his face and hair must look like. He cautiously ran a hand through his bangs and grimaced, feeling the wet and dry spots of paint.

"I'll clean up the paint," Trowa told Tim. "You can head out. Thanks for coming today."

"Anytime," Tim said, "but don't leave me hanging for an hour next time. Good to meet you, Duo. Hope you come in again - we could use a hard worker like you."

Duo accepted a handshake from the man, startled and pleased at the praise.

"Thank you for the help," Trowa told him once Tim had left. "You really did do good work."

"Thanks for letting me. Aside from the fact that I'm _covered_ in paint, it was fun."

Trowa smirked.

"It took me a few years to learn how to spatter without getting covered in paint, you'll get the hang of it - if you want to."

Duo looked him over and had to smirk. There were a few stray drops of paint across Trowa's face and neck that Duo had accidently sent flying in his direction at one point.

"What?" Trowa asked, returning the smirk.

"Nothing, you've just got paint on your nose."

Trowa arched an eyebrow.

"So do you."

Duo shrugged.

"I've got paint _everywhere_," he pointed out.

"True. Here, why don't you try washing your hands and arms while I clean up our stuff. We can go back to my apartment and you can shower before we get dinner."

"Your apartment?"

"Yeah, I've got some soap that cleans this stuff off pretty well without you having to scrape your skin off. And I've still got your shorts from _last_ time you were there - I can loan you a shirt to go with those."

"Hope you don't mind waiting the six hours it's going to take me to get all of this off," Duo muttered and Trowa chuckled.

"If it's going to take that long then maybe I should give you a hand."

The thought of Trowa taking a shower with him, scrubbing him down, touching him - it reminded Duo of that porn clip they had watched.

He tried unsuccessfully to fight off the rush of arousal he felt at that mental image. To try and distract himself he set about furiously scrubbing at the paint on his hands and arms and channeled thoughts of Betty White.

When they arrived at Trowa's apartment, Duo had to fight against a sudden feeling of uncertainty - it was one thing for Trowa to tease him about giving him a hand in the shower, another thing entirely for Duo to take him up on it.

"Here's the soap - and some shampoo - I'll grab a towel for you and find the clothes," Trowa said, showing Duo the bathroom and organizing things for him.

Duo took in a deep breath and reminded himself that Trowa wanted him just as much as Duo wanted Trowa. Besides, there was a first time for everything, as Trowa had said. It was time that Duo initiated intimacy for Trowa for the first time.

"Does your offer to give me a hand still stand?" he asked as Trowa started to walk out of the bathroom.

Trowa stopped and turned back, a hesitant look on his face.

"Of course - if you want me to."

"Yeah, but just so we're clear, I'm not actually asking you to help wash me. I've been wanting to try out that shower thing since we watched it and I'd really like the chance to be naked with you again."

Trowa looked shocked and pleased by Duo's words.

"Well, if that's what you want, I'm not going to complain," he said, a slow, seductive smile spreading across his face.

Duo smirked back and leaned in to kiss Trowa.

It was _much_ better sober, he decided, remembering their kisses last night. He could feel the heat and strength of Trowa's body and he could taste the faint, lingering hint of sugar on his lips from the donuts. He could also feel the corners of Trowa's lips still curved upwards in a smile, even as they kissed.

Duo pulled back enough so that he could maneuver his hands to the hem of Trowa's shirt and then pushed it up, revealing Trowa's smooth, taunt skin.

Trowa obligingly raised his arms above his head so that Duo could pull the shirt completely off, and the look in his eyes filled Duo with an incredible need. Trowa was looking at him as though he wanted to devour Duo on the spot, and Duo found himself feeling the same way.

He ran his hands over Trowa's chest, tracing the faint muscle definition and pausing to pinch Trowa's nipples.

He hissed in pleasure and rocked forward on his feet, clearly wanting more contact.

Duo leaned down and took one of the small, firm buds in his mouth and sucked on it.

Trowa groaned and Duo moved his attentions to the other nipple.

"You really do have sensitive nipples," he had to say as he straightened and pinched them again.

Trowa nodded. His face was flushed and his eyes hooded - he looked more aroused than Duo had ever seen him, and he marveled at just how incredibly sexy Trowa was.

Duo trailed his hands down Trowa's torso and to his the waistband of his pants. He could see the bulge of Trowa's erection and he felt a surge of anticipation at the sight.

He opened the fly of the pants, unzipped them and eased them down, smirking at the way they caught momentarily on Trowa's erection before sliding down to his ankles.

Trowa stepped out of them, pausing to toe off his shoes and socks as well, and while he did Duo reached out and massaged Trowa through the cotton boxer briefs he wore.

Trowa sucked in a breath and Duo looked at his face, eager to see his reaction.

Trowa looked directly into his eyes and Duo maintained the contact as he pushed the boxer briefs down and then grasped Trowa's cock in his right hand.

Trowa swallowed hard and then moaned when Duo started to work his hand up and down the length of his cock.

"God, Duo, that feels so good," Trowa breathed.

Duo alternated the pressure and rhythm of his strokes until he finally found the combination that seemed to drive Trowa wild - he closed and his eyes and gasped and reached out to Duo, grabbing his hips and rocking forward, trapping his cock and Duo's hand between their bodies as he tried to maintain as much contact as possible.

Duo continued to stroke him, feeling himself grow more and more aroused every time Trowa moaned or gasped or said his name and he was filled with a sense of confidence by Trowa's reactions to him. For perhaps the first time - Duo felt like he knew what he was doing and wasn't in danger of embarrassing himself.

Trowa's body tensed, and then he came with a shuddery gasp.

"Duo. Thank you."

Trowa kissed him and it was clear he was very, very grateful for the hand job.

"My pleasure," Duo assured him once they broke apart.

Trowa smirked.

"So much for that shower fantasy."

Duo shrugged.

"I got distracted."

Trowa chuckled.

"Well, any time you want to be distracted again, just let me know."


	11. Chapter 11

Standard Disclaimers: Not mine.

Warnings: angst, language, yaoi

Pairings: 2x3, 3x4, 1x5, past 1x3, past 2xH

Author's Note: How did I completely forget to mention this was inspired by _Kissing Jessica Stein_?! If you haven't seen that movie - see it now!

And I'm sorry about the time between updates - work got crazy but is settling back down now.

_The Road Not Taken_

Chapter Eleven

"We need to meet him," Wufei decided. "Bring him to dinner next Sunday."

Trowa rolled his eyes. It was Sunday, and he once again found himself at the mercy of his friends. It felt like talking about his relationship with Duo had become as much of a tradition as the Sunday meal itself. Even after they had ended things, Wufei and Heero had teamed up to question Trowa's sanity and chances for future happiness.

Of course, when he had shown up that evening for dinner, he had only _just_ dropped Duo off at his own apartment, having spent Saturday night and most of Sunday in bed with the other man. While he had refused to go into details, he had admitted to Heero and Wufei that things appeared to be back on between them.

"You've already met him," he pointed out.

Heero shook his head.

"No," Wufei said. "We spent all of ten minutes with him before he stormed out in a jealous rage when you let Quatre sit in your lap and then you went running after him."

"That was our favorite part," Heero added and Wufei nodded in agreement.

Trowa glared at both of them.

"I'm not bringing him over here, it will be an ambush."

Heero shrugged one shoulder.

"Yes, but he's no longer your Quatre rebound. You're serious about him and he seems serious about you. It would put us at ease."

"For the love of - it would _put you at ease_?"

"We worry about you," Wufei said. "You know that. And if he's really as wonderful as you say he is - then you're denying us the opportunity to get to know him."

Trowa had to roll his eyes again.

"If I bring him over here, it's just going to be two hours of you two embarrassing the hell out of him and he'll refuse to ever go out with me again."

"We aren't _that_ bad," Wufei argued, but Heero gave him a look and he sighed. "Fine. Maybe we are."

"You don't have to bring him next week," Heero assured Trowa. "But you should bring him over some time."

Trowa shrugged noncommittally. He knew that eventually he would bring Duo over - at least he hoped he would - but he also knew that it wouldn't be any night too soon.

"At least bring him to opening night in a few weeks," Wufei was clearly trying to compromise.

"And dinner, before the show," Heero added and Trowa felt a twinge of guilt. He had already planned to bring Duo - had offered that to him on Friday night - but he had once again imagined that he would skip the dinner in favor of more time alone with Duo.

"If he wants to," Trowa compromised, already knowing that Duo would want to do it.

Heero smirked, it was clear that he suspected Duo would as well.

"So you talked through some of your problems?" Heero asked.

"We talked, a lot," Trowa confessed. There had been the conversation Saturday morning, but even more discussion that night and again this morning, as Duo tried to talk through his concerns about sex and his lack of experience and Trowa tried to reassure him that he respected Duo's boundaries and appreciated his enthusiasm and did not resent his lack of skill.

"Talked, hm?" Wufei smirked. "Heero and I did a lot of talking this weekend too. Things like, 'pass the lube sweetie' or 'harder, babe.' Did you and Duo have those kinds of conversations?"

Trowa refused to be baited.

"You still aren't having sex?" Heero asked, and he sounded genuinely concerned.

"No," Trowa allowed himself to admit. "But we did talk about a lot of things and he's definitely interested in being… more intimate than we have been."

"But not sex?"

"Not _yet_," Trowa hedged, refusing to add, _maybe not ever_. He would never push Duo into that, but if Duo didn't want it…

"Is this because he's still straight?" Wufei teased.

"No. I think most of it is because he's intimidated by me."

Heero arched an eyebrow and he and Wufei exchanged looks.

"By my skill in bed," Trowa clarified, knowing it would result in them teasing him more, but also uncomfortable with the idea that he physically intimidated Duo.

He could see both of their mouths working as they fought against their first and seemingly second responses.

"Go ahead," he said with a sigh, "call me a slut or whatever you want - this is the perfect opportunity."

"Well," Wufei started, but stopped at a look from Heero.

"You aren't a slut," Heero said, "but you _are_ fairly experienced. Surely that's a good thing for him - since he has no experience?"

Trowa shrugged.

"Yes, but no. He's worried that whatever he does to me isn't going to feel as good as whatever I do to him - but I think, I think we're finally moving past that," he said as he recalled their time in the shower and afterwards that weekend. He had allowed Duo to set the pace and control their actions and he had not been disappointed with the results. Duo had seemed confident the first time, before they had even stepped into the shower, as he got Trowa off, and his confidence had only seemed to grow over the weekend. Trowa suspected that it was partly because he had finally expressed his fears, partly because he now knew how Trowa felt about him, but mostly because it was clear Duo enjoyed being in charge.

Which was perfectly fine by Trowa.

"You're doing the smiling thing again," Heero said with a sigh.

Trowa glared at him but Heero just smirked back.

"Have you told him about Heero?" Wufei asked, interrupting the moment.

Trowa paused.

"That we were together and I cheated on him?" Trowa asked.

Wufei nodded.

"No. Not yet. I will," he resolved, because he didn't want that coming out later, "but not yet. He's still… he still thinks I'm going to leave him for Quatre or something and telling him about Heero - that's only going to reinforce that fear."

Wufei nodded in understanding, but Heero frowned.

"Just… make sure you do tell him," Heero said eventually. "You've changed in the years since then - and you've changed a lot since you met Duo, but I think he should hear it from you instead of Quatre, you know?"

Trowa nodded in agreement. The _last_ thing he wanted was for Quatre to start trying to screw with Duo's head again, and if Quatre had real ammunition instead of exaggerations… well, it wouldn't end well, Trowa was certain.

-o-

Duo dismissed the zucchinis out of hand. While the curve was nice, the shape wasn't right and the thickness wasn't consistent enough.

Eventually, he decided on a few bananas, a cucumber, and a few sugar free ice pops.

As he walked up to the cash register, his basket filled with _only_ phallic objects, Duo couldn't help but feel like a really weird pervert. It wasn't as if there was some kind of meal you could make out of cucumber, bananas and strawberry ice pops - at least not one Duo had any interest in eating.

But his recent internet forages had suggested that learning how to give a proper blow job necessitated a phallus of some kind, and that zucchinis, cucumbers, bananas or popsicles were a good way to start off without drawing too much attention to yourself.

Of course, a basket full of the damn things made Duo feel like he was _asking_ for the attention.

He managed to make it through the checkout line without comment, but he could feel the curious, judgemental eyes of the seventy year old woman at the register on him as she bagged first the bananas, then the cucumber and finally the ice pops.

As he walked away, she called after him.

"You enjoy yourself, young man!"

Duo practically ran from the grocery store after that.

By the time he arrived back at his apartment he was feeling a bit stupid about the entire expedition and more than a bit discouraged as he eyed the cucumber and the bananas.

He put the ice pops away in the freezer, but took one out and tore into the wrapper. _This_ much he could handle, at least.

As he sucked away at the sweet treat he pulled up the website he had found that discussed the proper techniques for excellent blow jobs.

He felt confident that Trowa was going to be amazing at this - he was amazing at everything else, after all - and Duo was equally confident that his first attempt on Trowa was going to be a complete disaster. At least, if he practiced before hand, he would have a general idea of what it felt like.

His worst fear was freaking out and possibly hurting Trowa, so he figured spending some time with large, phallic objects in his mouth was probably a step in the right direction.

Of course, the ice pop was _not_ large, and while Duo certainly enjoyed sucking it off the stick, he didn't think it was preparing him all that well for fellatio.

He moved onto the banana next. He had tried to find the straightest bananas possible, since that curve daunted him a bit and in no way resembled Trowa's cock, but even so if felt awkward and _weird_ to lick the unpeeled fruit and then try to insert it into his mouth and down his throat.

He triggered his gag reflex pretty quickly, and wound up choking on the banana as he tried to pull it back out.

This was definitely not going well.

He took a few moments to read over the recommendations again - how to work his hands over the shaft, how to use his tongue to lick and tease and how to apply suction and avoid using his teeth.

The cucumber was at least firmer and a closer shape to Trowa's cock, so Duo attempted that item next, but the bumpy, rubbery texture was not at all appealing and he had to switch back to the banana.

He managed not to choke himself again, but after several minutes of trying to massage the damn thing and suck on it he was left with a lumpy, nearly demolished banana.

This was getting him nowhere, and as much as he wanted to keep his ignorance a secret, he knew it was time to call for help.

He found his phone and dialed Hilde's number.

"Duo!" It was the first time they had spoken since her arrival in New York. They had texted and emailed - often multiple times each day - but he hadn't realized how much he had missed her voice this last week until now.

"Hil, how much trouble have you gotten into already?"

She laughed. She sounded happy and it made Duo smile.

"Ugh, not nearly enough. And what about _you_? Still having your wicked way with Trowa?"

Duo had been sure to keep Hilde in the loop about the developments with Trowa over the past week - they had spent all day Saturday together, as well as Saturday night and most of Sunday before Trowa dropped Duo off at his own apartment that night. They had spoken on the phone Monday night, fighting about just how awful Revolution was, and then Trowa had spent the night on Tuesday and Wednesday nights. That much time together had been amazing, as far as Duo was concerned, because he was getting used to Trowa's body and learning just how to drive him crazy. It also meant a lot of talking and a lot of cuddling - Trowa might not have been a fan to begin with, but he had quickly fallen into the habit of curling up around Duo at night.

"I am," Duo assured her and then hesitated.

"Uh-oh. That was a pause. Okay, spill. What did you screw up this time?"

"I didn't screw up anything," Duo said, "I just… need advice."

"Okay. From me?"

"Yeah." Duo sighed, he tried to think of how exactly to phrase his request.

"Yeah?" Hilde prompted and Duo sighed.

"I… Okay, I have no idea how to say this without it sounding offensive."

"Ooh, this sounds like fun. Continue."

"You give really, really good head, Hilde."

"Was that the offensive part?"

"Well, I don't know, I mean, yes?"

"Okay. I think we need to work on your definitions for compliment and offense but continue."

"Well, your technique is pretty great and I was hoping you would… tell me how you do it."

There was a moment of silence and Duo closed his eyes, fully prepared for anger or laughter.

"Oh. _Oh_. You thought I'd assume you were calling me a whore because I give good head?"

"I'm _not_ saying that, though. I just know that you've had the experience to perfect it and -"

"Oh. So now I'm _experienced_? So not a whore so much as -"

"No! No, no no! I -"

"Duo. Calm down. I'm messing with you." He could hear the smile in her voice and it made him want to hang up. Of course she was teasing him.

"Hil, I -"

"Duo. I'm sorry. I know how sensitive you are. I shouldn't have done that."

"I am _not_ sensitive," he protested and immediately realized it only seemed to prove her point.

"Right. Anyway, you were saying that I'm a really experienced cock sucker and you needed me to tell you how to do it right?"

Duo closed his eyes and shook his head. Of _course_ this was the only person he could call about this.

"Yes, oh wise and knowledgeable cock sucker. Please impart your wisdom on me."

Hilde giggled but then drew in a deep breath and seemed to collect herself.

"Well, I guess - what do _you_ like when you get a blow job? Are there things you like to have done to you?"

"Yeah," he allowed.

"Okay, well, let's start off with those. You really aren't that kinky, so I think that whatever _you_ like in a blow job, Trowa is likely to appreciate as well. Unless _he_ is really kinky."

"He's not," he assured her.

"So, what things do you really enjoy?" Hilde prompted him, thankfully leaving off with her teasing.

Duo drew in a deep breath.

"I guess… sucking on the tip and working the rest with your hands? I mean, that's what I always liked when you did it. But you'd also deep throat me, and that always felt amazing, and you had really great… I don't know, suction? And you didn't ignore my balls."

"Okay, that's a good start. Those all sound like things you can do too, right? I mean, I'd recommend _not_ trying to deep throat him until you've had some practice - unless he's got a tiny cock?"

"No, he does not have a tiny cock," Duo assured her, thinking about the girth and length of Trowa's cock.

"Okay, then I'd really recommend just you know… teasing him with your tongue for a while, tasting him, I guess? And then start trying to suck him down. Just go slow - and the whole suction thing takes some practice, but it's not that hard."

"Okay…"

"So just, I don't know, try humming your favorite song while you do it? Or really try to suck in your cheeks?"

Duo eyed the cucumber and mauled banana warily. He'd felt like enough of an idiot before, he was not looking forward to humming with a cucumber in his mouth.

"With the suction thing - just get some ice pops and practice on those. I don't know if _those_ are close in size to him…?"

"No, I already said he didn't have a tiny cock," Duo said, knowing she was finishing for specifics but unwilling to give in.

"Yeah, yeah, just checking - but even so, you can try doing that. Ummm… teeth! Don't use your teeth unless you know he's not going to freak out or if he likes a bit of pain or whatever, okay?"

Duo found himself nodding along. Hilde had almost never used her teeth on him, but he had dated a girl once who did and it had terrified him. Still, what she had said about liking a bit of pain made him think of Trowa. He decided to avoid teeth the first time, at least.

"And you already said you like some attention for your balls, so do the same - just think about how sensitive they are and don't apply too much pressure, right?"

"Right," Duo agreed.

"And… oh! Your face. Your face is super important."

"Huh?"

"Duo, think back to all the blow jobs you've gotten. Think about the best two and the worst two -can you describe the expression on that person's face as they are going down on you?"

He thought about it. The best two blow jobs he had ever had were easily the one from Zechs a few weeks ago and one from Hilde - probably the one he had given him the night they decided to break up and had had a marathon night of sex to end things on. Zechs had looked like he was worshipping at an altar, and Hilde had looked for all the world like a girl with her favorite flavor of lollipop.

His worst two, on the other hand, were a little harder to pin down, but he could remember the facial expressions of a few of the bad ones - boredom or disinterest or anxiety.

"So you're saying I have to look like I'm into it," he decided.

"Well, you need to actually be into it, Duo, but you should make sure that your face shows how much you're enjoying it - if you don't enjoy giving head, then it's going to be super obvious."

Which was another problem - if going down on Trowa was anything like a cucumber, Duo wasn't so sure he was going to enjoy it.

"And you know, you should probably decide if you want to swallow his cum."

"What does that feel like?" Duo had tasted himself only a few times, when Zechs had kissed him after that amazing blow job and a few times with Hilde. But he didn't know what the sensation of someone ejaculating inside your mouth would be like.

"It's weird," Hilde admitted, "and takes getting used to. But it's not… well, I don't think it's bad. It might make you gag the first few times, because it's hot and pretty salty - sometimes it's bitter, sometimes it's sweet… it's a little different for everyone."

Duo sighed.

"Hil -"

"Duo. Stop it. You're not going to fuck anything up. I'll tell you a secret."

"Please let it not be a secret about your sex life with Greg."

"No, not unless you want to hear one of those? I could tell you about how he uses his finger to -"

"No!" He interrupted her. It was strange, but he really, really didn't want to think about Hilde with another guy, even though he knew Hilde was crazy about Greg and even though Duo was crazy about Trowa. He no longer wanted to be with Hilde, but he still felt connected to her, and maybe a bit protective. Hilde would likely call this his Madonna complex - his need to either desire women or put them on a pedestal that made thinking about sex with them a sin.

"The sex with him is good though, right?" He felt compelled to ask.

"Of course it is. Like you, he listens really well - and that's what I was going to tell you."

"Your secret is that I listen really well?"

"Yeah, sort of. I was _going_ to say that you give pretty good head yourself, Duo. Probably some of the best I've ever had, and that's because you listen really well and you _ask_. You always asked me if something felt good or what I wanted or what I needed. That makes a _huge _difference, Duo."

As much as Duo didn't like the idea of having Trowa walk him through a blow job step by step, it was different to ask him if he was enjoying himself, and it was good that Hilde had mentioned this.

"Also, most guys - well, most straight guys - aren't used to really good blow jobs and they settle for enthusiasm over finesse. I think it's probably a little different than gay guys - but really, Duo, just think about what _you_ enjoy and try to do that. It's not rocket science."

"But it takes practice."

"Just like every other artform," she assured him and he could hear the smirk in her voice.

"Yeah, yeah."

"Well, call me and let me know how it goes tomorrow night."

"Huh?"

"When you try it out on Trowa. Let me know how it goes."

Duo closed his eyes and shook his head.

"How did you even know that's when I was planning on trying it?"

"Because I know you. You put things off if they freak you out, but you also like to be prepared, so I figured you were trying to work yourself up to it and a Saturday night seemed like just your kind of thing."

"I hate you."

"You mean you love me."

"That too."

-o-

Trowa loved his job, and he especially loved that moment when every element of a play - the acting, the costumes, lights, sound and scenery finally came together and the play became a real, breathing entity instead of a jumble of people and ideas.

Of course, that moment was always preceded by tech rehearsals, the bane of Trowa's existence.

He felt that, for the most part, he handled stress well. He knew how to compartmentalize and prioritize and he was used to things going wrong and having to fix them on a moment's notice.

But that didn't change the fact that tech rehearsals scared the shit out of him or the fact that he usually spent the first two hours on the edge of his seat, convinced that at any second the director was going to shout out at him in the dark theatre, demanding that he be fired and everything changed.

It had never happened, but that didn't mean it couldn't.

So it was with a fair amount of trepidation that Trowa arrived on Saturday morning for the ten out of twelve tech rehearsal for _The Pillowman_. The show would open on Wednesday night, which gave them only a few days to run everything together on the set, in the theatre, before an audience saw the production. For the next twelve hours, as they worked through each lighting cue and each entrance and exit, Trowa knew he was going to be an anxious mess.

As did Heero, which went a long way to explaining why his friend wordlessly handed him a bag of peanut M & M's on his way to the middle of the dark theatre, where the light board was set up.

Trowa didn't indulge in sweets too often, but having something to _do_, even if it was just with his mouth, usually helped him relax.

In years past, when he and Heero had been together, they had tried to arrive at the theatre early enough to have sex in an inappropriate place on the set, and that had done wonders to ease Trowa's nerves.

That had ended, of course, when Trowa cheated on Heero with Quatre.

Quatre, who was walking through the theatre with a jaunty smile and a friendly word to the crew and cast who were gathering. Quatre, who was always such a good guy and so charming.

And so sexy, Trowa had to admit, as Quatre leaned over in the aisle to pick up something, presenting a great view of his ass and lean legs, encases in skin tight yoga pants.

Quatre straightened up and caught Trowa looking at him and smirked.

Trowa looked away.

Quatre was sexy, but then so was Duo - and Duo wanted him.

Trowa pushed all thoughts of Quatre to the back of his mind and moved so that he was closer to Heero and the director. As much as he would rather try to hide at the back of the theatre, it was better to be close by so that the director didn't actually have to shout at him.

Ten out of twelve rehearsals were boring at the best of times - with the stage manager prompting the actors to provide their blocking and lines only when there was a scene change, lighting change, entrance or exit. They did it that way first, so that the timing for the lighting cues and scene changes could be worked out, and unless something went terribly wrong it was mind numbingly boring for everyone who _wasn't_ the stage manager, lighting designer or director. If the scenery was complicated and involved lots of changing, then things could get interesting for Trowa - but this set remained unchanged throughout, with only the lighting and the projections changing.

It was simple, but it worked, and as hour after hour passed Trowa was pleased to see that Heero's lighting design, as usual, was spectacular and brought out texture and detail in the scenery that many lighting designers simply wouldn't know how to do.

They were on the second of their two hour long breaks - the first for lunch and this one for dinner at five pm - when he decided to call Duo.

"Hey!" Duo answered almost immediately and Trowa could hear the smile in his voice.

"Hey yourself," Trowa replied.

"How is your rehearsal going?" Duo asked.

Trowa had explained the process to him, and while Duo had looked unsure, he had been interested, and it was nice to have someone to talk to about his work who wasn't actually involved in it for once.

"Not as torturous as it could be," Trowa allowed, "but I think we will still be here for the full ten hours. After dinner we're going to do a run thru and then notes after that."

"Okay, gotcha - well at least the run thru should be interesting, right? To see them on the set for the first time?"

"Definitely," Trowa agreed. "Of course, I could think of _other_ interesting things to be doing with my time instead," he teased.

Duo chuckled.

"I hope that _I'm _one of those interesting things," Duo responded, warmth in his voice.

"Always," Trowa assured him.

"Do you want to? I mean, do you want to get together tonight after your rehearsal or are you going to be too tired?"

Trowa thought about it. He _would_ be tired after a day spent sitting in the uncomfortable seats in the theatre and stressing out, but he couldn't think of a better way to end his day than time spent with Duo.

"Are you trying to call me old?" He asked.

"I'm not _trying_ anything, you are old. But the real question is - are you horny?"

Trowa snorted a laugh. Even from their very first date it was clear that Duo had a great sense of humor and a slightly dirty twist to his mind. Now that Duo was growing more comfortable with the sexual aspects of their relationship, Trowa had been treated to more and more innuendo and even outright dirty talk. They had come a long way from the nights in Phoenix when Trowa had had to narrate their phone sex almost entirely by himself.

"Yes," he said. "Which is fairly inappropriate considering that I'm at McDonald's sitting across from a bunch of three year olds."

"Oooh. What are they wearing?"

"Duo!"

"Just kidding. Do you want to know what _I'm _wearing instead?"

Trowa had to smile. Yes, things had definitely improved.

"I'm guessing your sweatpants and a t-shirt, knowing how lazy you are when you don't have anywhere to be."

"_Actually_," Duo, sounding faintly indignant, "I'm wearing a towel because I just got out of the shower."

"You're just now taking a shower, at five in the afternoon."

"I started my volunteer work at the animal shelter today and I had the amazing job of helping wash out the kennels. Trust me, you _want_ me to be taking a shower at five in the afternoon instead of coming anywhere near me when I smelled like I did an hour ago."

"I'm sorry you had a rough day."

"No, it was pretty cool actually - just kind of smelly. Now, do we want to go back to talking about my totally sexy body being covered by only this scrap of a towel or more about my escapes with dog shit?"

"That's a tough call," Trowa said and Duo made a sound of mock outrage. "But tell me more about your body."

"Well, I'm pretty sure this is the same towel you used the other day - that blue one? It's kind of hot, thinking about where it's been on you, and where it is on me now. Of course, I'm about to take it off, since it's going to get in the way of me jacking off while I think about _you_ in the towel, but I think it's served it's purpose so far."

"Duo," Trowa tried to keep his voice even, but he could feel his mouth go dry as he heard Duo groan, clearly already working himself. Trowa could feel his dick start to harden and he tried to calm himself down, forcing himself to think about cold showers and Judi Dench.

"Oh God, Tro, I wish you were here right now," Duo moaned into the phone. "I wish I could feel your big, rough hands on me, pulling me just right - that slow, steady pace you set that drives me crazy. And me - Tro, I love the way your body feels as you grind into me. Your big, hard cock rubbing against mine and your breath all harsh and -"

"Duo. I'm in _public_." Cold showers and Judi Dench were doing nothing to stifle his growing arousal and Trowa quickly got up, tossed his food into the trashcan, and walked outside.

The theatre was a few blocks away, and Trowa had made the walk instead of driving, but he now wished he had taken his car - it wasn't much privacy but it would have been all he needed for a quick hand job. It was impossible to get the mental image of Duo masturbating out of his mind, of the way his back arched and his eyes became thin, bottomless slits as his pleasure mounted.

"Mm. We could try that too, I guess," Duo said and moaned again, a long, shuddery sound that meant he was close to orgasm. "Not quite as comfortable as my bed, and we'd have to be kind of sneaky about it. Maybe we could try it at the theatre on Wednesday night? It's dark, right? I could put my program on your lap and you could put yours on mine. You're way too big for me to take you _out_ of your pants, though, so I'd just have to rub you off in your pants. But I think you'd like that, the friction of your pants and my hand against your big, hard cock and -" Duo stopped talking for a moment and his voice just came through the phone as weak, fractured breathing.

Then he groaned, a loud, drawn out sound of pleasure that Trowa had already learned meant he had gotten off.

Trowa's dick felt rock hard in his pants and he was grateful that despite the heat that day he had worn jeans - he would be arrested for indecency if he had worn his khakis.

"Thanks, Tro. That was amazing."

He had to laugh. Duo sounded perfectly content.

"You did all the work yourself," he had to point out.

"Yeah," Duo agreed, "but your voice - and _knowing_ you were listening - that's pretty much all it takes to get me hard, Tro."

"And you're twenty three, so all it takes is a hand and some lotion to get you off," Trowa had to point out.

"Maybe, but it's better when it's _your_ hand and some lotion."

"What about my mouth?" Trowa asked. They had yet to venture in that direction. Trowa had resolved to let Duo push things forward at his own pace, but after _that_ performance he was feeling bold himself.

"Want me to come over tonight?" Duo asked, a hitch of arousal already back in his voice.

"You're insatiable," Trowa had to say.

"Call me when you're headed home and I'll meet you there. I need to go shower again. Someone got me dirty."

With that episode to reminiscence on and the hope of oral sex that night, it was both more and less painful for Trowa to sit through the rest of the tech rehearsal.

The run thru went fine, the director leaned back to tell him several times how happy he was with the set, and even Heero seemed relaxed and pleased with the way things were coming together. All of that was fine, but Trowa was having a hard time focusing on the action onstage when all he _wanted_ to think about was finally getting Duo's dick in his mouth.

By the time nine o'clock finally rolled around and everyone was released, Trowa practically sprinted from the theatre, waving off Heero's offer to grab a drink and Quatre's less than subtle offer of sex.

He had his phone out, calling Duo, before he even made it outside.

"I'm leaving the theatre now," he told Duo.

The other man chuckled.

"I'm sorry. You don't sound excited at all. We could just wait until -"

"No way, you little cocktease. I've been thinking about your dick all night and you _know_ I have."

"Well, that was kind of the idea," Duo said. "Seemed only fair when all I ever think about is _yours_."

"You have such a filthy mind," Trowa muttered as he dug out his car keys, brushing against his already hard dick. He had been in an embarrassing state of semi-arousal all night. As soon as he seemed to have himself under control, something or someone reminded him of Duo and _that_ reminded him of Duo's dick and _that_ got him hard again.

He was definitely going to need something besides cold showers and Judi Dench to think about in the future, because he was certain that after finally getting to taste Duo it was going to be much harder not to fantasize about him.

"I'll see you in a few minutes," Duo said and Trowa hung up the phone so that he could concentrate on driving. He had far better plans for how to end this night than in a car accident.

He made record time getting home, but wasn't surprised or at all disappointed to see that Duo was already there, leaning against his car in the parking lot, wearing khaki shorts and a v-neck t-shirt that was low enough to reveal the top of Duo's tattoo and fitted enough to show off his lean torso.

Trowa parked his car and walked over to Duo, pleased to see a tent in the young man's shorts already - it was good to know he wasn't the only one unable to control his body - and he kissed him.

Duo was tense for a moment. They had never kissed in public, and even though it was twilight in an empty parking lot, there was every chance someone might see them.

A moment later, however, he was leaning into the kiss and reaching back to squeeze's Trowa's ass. It brought their clothed erections together and Trowa thrust his hips against Duo's, enjoying the friction and the novelty of grinding against Duo in an open, public space.

Duo moaned into his mouth and Trowa eased away.

"You've been torturing me all day," he told Duo, "making me think about you - about _this_," he reached out and rubbed Duo's dick through his shorts and the younger man gasped and jerked against him.

"Should I apologize?" Duo asked. His face was flushed, and even though it was clear he wasn't the least bit regretful, there was an uncertain note in his voice.

Trowa kissed him again.

"No. Feel free to do that to me any time you want," he told the younger man. "Just know that I'm going to return the favor and torture you whenever _I_ want to as well."

Duo grinned at that and Trowa decided that he had created a monster.

He also decided it was time to go inside and move things in a more naked direction.

He grabbed Duo's hand and pulled the younger man after him, into his building and up the stairs to his apartment on the second floor.

As soon as the door was closed he spun around, pinning Duo to the door and working to strip him.

He pulled Duo's shirt up over his head and ran his hands over Duo's smooth, bare chest while the younger man returned the favor, tugging at Trowa's shirt until he pulled it off.

Trowa trailed his hands lower, pausing to tweak Duo's nipples and draw a gasp from him, but then he honed in on the source of all his current arousal. He unbuttoned and unzipped Duo's shorts and pushed them down, revealing a hard, naked, weeping dick.

"You seem to have forgotten to wear any underwear," he chided Duo, but he was thrilled with this development. There was something incredibly erotic, seeing that dick spring out from the zipper, unrestrained and clearly desperate for attention.

"Are you going to reward me or punish me for that?" Duo asked, a challenge in his voice and his eyes.

"We'll see," Trowa said and kissed him again.

Duo took the opportunity to remove Trowa's jeans and his boxer briefs. Trowa kicked free of his shoes and then they were both naked, hard, and eager for more.

Trowa leaned Duo back against the door, hoping no neighbors walked by anytime soon, because he had every intention of making Duo come right there.

He reached down to stroke Duo's dick, easing the bead of precum down his shaft and spreading the slight lubrication around the heated flesh.

"Wait," Duo said when Trowa started to kneel down.

Trowa stopped himself and arched an eyebrow in question, trying to trample the immediate and surely irrational fear that Duo had changed his mind and was backing out.

"Everything okay?" He asked, trying to keep his voice neutral.

"Yeah," Duo said, but he looked uncertain. "I just… Tro, if you do this it's going to be amazing and probably one of the best sexual experiences of my life."

"And you feel you haven't been a good enough boy today?" Trowa asked, trying to tease him.

Duo grinned crookedly.

"I'm pretty sure I'm not a good enough boy _any_ day, Tro, but no that's not why - look, if you do this first, I'm going to be a really shitty followup to that."

It took Trowa a moment to catch up to Duo's logic.

"You want to go down on me?"

Duo nodded.

"Yeah. If - do you mind?"

"Do I _mind_ if the guy I fantasize about constantly gives me a blow job?"

"The guy who's never done it before," Duo pointed out, "and -"

"Duo. If you want to, I want you to. But it's not - Jesus, Duo, at this point I've wanted you to do this for so long you probably just need to put me in your mouth and I'm going to cum, so don't think you're going to need to use a lot of skill or anything."

Duo didn't look all that comforted.

"Are you sure you want to do this tonight?" Trowa asked him. "We can wait and -"

"No. I _do _want to do it. Tonight. I - know what I want, Tro. I just need to convince myself I'm not going to be a total failure."

Trowa nodded. He decided to wait and remain silent - almost all of the time, so far, the only person who had any real success at talking Duo into doing something was Duo himself.

"Mind if we move to the bedroom?" Duo asked. "I know you were hoping to make me scream while you had me pinned to your door but…"

Trowa smirked. He wasn't surprised his desire was that transparent.

"Of course."

He led Duo into the bedroom and hesitated for a moment before turning on the lamp on the nightstand - it wasn't as bright as the overhead light, and he didn't want Duo to feel any less at ease than he already was.

"Where do you want me?" He asked Duo, deciding to let him take control of things.

"On the bed, I think," Duo said.

Trowa walked backwards and then laid down on the bed, spreading his legs wide and giving Duo the chance to join him whenever he wanted.

"God, you're beautiful, Tro," Duo breathed, the look in his eyes bordering on reverent.

"So are you," Trowa said, returning the compliment and meaning it. He looked over Duo's taunt, lean body and felt his dick twitch in response to the instant rush of arousal he felt.

Duo saw and he actually licked his lips.

"Okay, so just - tell me if I'm doing something wrong or if you want me to do something else, okay?" Duo asked, a pleading tone in his voice as he looked up at Trowa.

"And when you're doing something right?"

"Yeah, well… _if_ that happens, it would be nice to know that part too," Duo conceded.

He continued to stare at Trowa's dick with a look of concentration. It almost made Trowa want to laugh.

"Duo."

The younger man met his gaze.

"I promise you that I'm going to enjoy it. I'm more worried about _you_ enjoying it."

Duo sighed and shook his head.

"I've wanted to try this for awhile now, Tro. I think about this all the time and I really, really want to taste you."

"But…?"

Duo looked embarrassed.

"You don't… you don't taste like cucumber by any chance, do you? I mean, no one's ever said that to you or anything have they? Because I'm not sure I could… I think I wouldn't be able to do it."

"No one has ever told me I taste even remotely like a cucumber, Duo," Trowa assured him and then frowned. Duo had never expressed a hatred of cucumbers before - he had had them on salads before and eaten them without complaint. "Why?"

"I… well, I figured I should you know, practice or try it out or whatever - just get used to having something that size in my mouth and trying to suck on it and…"

"You practiced blow jobs on a cucumber."

Duo nodded miserably and Trowa had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing. Once he was sure he had himself under control, he spoke.

"Duo. You don't need to practice on a cucumber - or any other produce. Practice on me."

Duo still looked skeptical.

"Please," Trowa added, knowing that Duo loved to hear him use that word during sex.

Duo approached the bed and knelt between Trowa's legs. Both of their erections had began to fade during that conversation, and Trowa reflected that that was actually a good thing for Duo.

He could see Duo still looked uneasy.

"Tell me what you want to do to me," he suggested.

"You're just going to tell me I've got a dirty mouth again," Duo said, but he was smirking.

He reached out and took hold of Trowa's half-hard dick.

"I really want to taste you. I want to lick up the precum on your head."

Duo stroked Trowa back to hardness, his gaze intent on Trowa's dick, and as soon as it leaked precum Duo leaned down, swiping the flat part of his tongue around the head of Trowa's dick.

It felt good, and Trowa found himself arching upwards, desperate for more.

"What else?" He asked, aware that his voice was already unsteady. It was almost comical how easily Duo had him aroused.

"You're really big, Tro, and I don't know if I can swallow all of you in one go - but I kind of want to -" instead of finishing his sentence, Duo leaned down and licked Trowa's dick, from the base to the tip and then back down again. He repeated the motion, swirling his tongue around the shaft and even dipping down to Trowa's balls, licking and teasing with his tongue.

"Duo, that feels amazing," Trowa assured him, reminding himself of Duo's request. He wasn't about to tell Duo what to do - but he definitely wanted to let him know that _this_ felt really good.

And then it got so much better.

Duo positioned his mouth at the head of Trowa's dick and then slowly started to swallow him, taking inch after inch of Trowa inside.

He stopped about halfway down, clearly uncomfortable taking in more, but even this much felt like heaven.

"That's really good, Duo," he said and then moaned when Duo started to move up and down, his hot mouth leaving a trail of moisture that Duo then spread with his right hand as he worked the base of Trowa's dick.

Duo's other hand started to massage Trowa's balls and he felt like he was in heaven.

It wasn't the best blow job he had ever had - Duo wasn't taking him in very deep and he wasn't applying that much suction, but it was still really, really good.

"God, Duo, yes - yes that feels good," he encouraged, shifting his hips just a little, to change the angle, and suddenly Duo was taking him down just a bit deeper and it made a world of difference.

Trowa looked down to see Duo looking back up at him and he half expected Duo to have that look of concentration on his face, but instead it appeared as if he was actually enjoying himself - it was almost as if he was smirking around Trowa's dick.

"What?" Trowa had to ask, and Duo pulled away with a wet pop.

He was smirking, and Trowa found himself returning the expression.

"You taste so much better than a cucumber, Tro," Duo assured him, "and you are a lot harder than a banana."

Trowa had to close his eyes.

"Jesus, Duo, what else did you -"

"Ice pops. And you're a lot harder and a lot bigger than any of those. But still…"

Duo trailed off and Trowa opened his eyes to look at him.

"Can I try a little harder? Maybe a little faster?"

Trowa could only nod eagerly.

Duo leaned down to kiss him, a wet, sloppy kiss that was more for fun than anything serious, and then returned to his earlier position.

"Holy fuck, Duo!"

Trowa almost felt as though Duo had been playing a joke on him earlier, because as soon as the young man took him back in his mouth it felt completely different. Duo seemed to be trying to suck him down, and he bobbed his head up and down, working more and more of Trowa into his mouth while his hand kept a firm, steady pace of tugging on the shaft.

The dual sensations and drastically different paces soon had Trowa on the brink of an orgasm and he had to struggle to push Duo's head away before he exploded in the other man's mouth.

Duo looked petulant, but when Trowa shot thick streams of cum onto his own belly Duo's expression cleared.

"Sorry, I wasn't paying attention," Duo said.

Trowa chuckled tiredly.

"It's fine, I just didn't think you'd want to try that much tonight."

Duo frowned.

"I hadn't really thought about it, I guess," he mused and then leaned down to lick up some of the semen.

His hot tongue tickled Trowa's belly but the sight of Duo licking his semen made it very difficult for Trowa to breathe.

"It's not bad," Duo concluded and moved over to another spot, soon cleaning up all evidence of Trowa's orgasm. "Next time you should come in my mouth."

Trowa could only nod in agreement.

Duo looked at him.

"It was okay, right? I mean - it wasn't _great_ but -"

Trowa pulled him close and kissed him. He could taste himself in Duo's mouth and he found himself getting hard again from that, but he kept his entire focus on this kiss, on trying to express to Duo just how much more than okay it had been.

Finally, he pulled away and looked at Duo.

The younger man grinned.

"At least sucking on those ice pops taught me something."


	12. Chapter 12

Standard Disclaimers: Not mine.

Warnings: angst, language, yaoi

Pairings: 2x3, 3x4, 1x5, past 1x3, past 2xH

Author's Note: Thanks for taking the time to read, and I can't even begin to stress how lovely it is to see folks reviewing - it means a lot to me and is incredibly motivating.

I haven't read Lazarus, but IGN thinks it's great… which honestly doesn't say all that much. Anyway, I have no idea when Issue #10 is scheduled to be published, but looking at the previous pub dates I think July 6-10th is a fair estimation… for those of you who are making a timeline at home or something. =p

_The Road Not Taken_

Chapter Twelve

The last time Duo had attended an opening night with Trowa had been months ago, and he had certainly spent an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out what to wear.

Now, as he surveyed his closet and tried to figure out what to wear for dinner and the opening of _The Pillowman_ he felt even more lost than he had months ago. This wasn't just about wanting to look good for Trowa, but also about impressing his friends, Heero and Catharine, who would be meeting them for dinner before the show.

Duo had no idea why he felt so nervous. He had already met Heero and Catharine months ago, but he hadn't spent much time with them - and their last impression of him was likely not the best.

He winced, recalling that night at the bar when he had stormed out after Quatre Winner through himself all over Trowa. He wasn't sure how he could have reacted better, but running away probably wasn't the most mature reaction.

Duo wanted Heero and Catharine to like him - he wanted to show Trowa that he, Duo, could fit into this life just as much as Quatre Winner could.

It wasn't as if Trowa had implied otherwise, but Duo couldn't help the fact that he felt that way. Things were great between them - in the past two weeks they had spent several nights together and even when they didn't see each other they spoke on the phone or texted during the day.

Which meant, Duo supposed, Trowa thought it was time to acquaint Duo, or at least reacquaint, with his friends.

Duo had never broken up with someone _because_ Hilde didn't like her, but she was an important enough fixture in his life that her opinions mattered to him. He was willing to bet that Trowa had a similar relationship to his friends - he didn't seem like the type to be easily swayed by the opinions of others, but it was clear, from the way that he had asked Duo if he wanted to meet up with them for dinner, that Heero and Catharine mattered to him.

So Duo wanted to impress them. He didn't want to remind them of the awkward, straight and confused guy they had met months ago - but he also wanted, needed, to be himself.

Finally, he told himself to grow a pair - his _clothes_ weren't going to make or break this evening and he needed to get dressed and get a move on or he was going to be late.

Trowa would be arriving any minute now, and as much as Duo was sure this would amuse him, it wouldn't do much of anything else.

He pulled on a pair of gray khaki pants and a blue linen button up shirt. He had worn it a few days ago and Trowa had seemed to have a lot of fun taking it off of him - hopefully they could plan a reenactment of that later on tonight.

Duo was stepping into his shoes when his doorbell rang and he opened the door to find Trowa on the other side.

The taller, older man smirked at him.

"My favorite shirt," he said.

Duo smirked back.

"You mean your favorite shirt to take off."

Trowa shrugged.

"I love taking off all of your shirts equally," he said and stepped forward to kiss Duo, "but I like the way you look with this one _on_ too."

Trowa, as usual, looked amazing. He had gone the khaki and button up route as well, but his own pants were fitted and made his long, lean legs look even longer. His green button up shirt was also fitted, but he had left it open and unbuttoned over a gray v-neck t-shirt.

"You know, we could always stay here and have fun undressing each other," Duo had to offer.

"Or we could come back here after the show and try that," Trowa suggested, one eyebrow raised. He was clearly picking up on Duo's anxiety.

"I'm going to hold you to that, Tro," Duo said, fighting back his doubts.

"I certainly hope you will," Trowa responded.

Trowa drove them to the theatre and parked the car halfway between the theatre and the restaurant where they planned to meet Heero and Catharine.

Duo had never been to Ecco before, but he liked Mediterranean food and Trowa had assured him that it was good and casual, and as soon as they walked in Duo decided he liked the restaurant - it smelled amazing and it looked like most of the seating were low couches arranged around low tables.

Of course, his fragile equilibrium was immediately shattered when Trowa leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"I'm sorry, in advance. Cathy can be nosey as hell and Heero… well, Heero has his own way of getting to know people."

With _those_ words of encouragement, Trowa led Duo through the restaurant towards a table

near the back where Heero and Catharine were already seated.

"Hey!" Catharine greeted them brightly from her spot beside Heero on one of the couches.

"Hello again," Duo said to her and Heero, who merely smirked, as if this was all a private joke.

They sat down on the opposite couch and Duo tried not to care that both Heero and Catharine were staring at him with interested, amused looks.

Beside him Trowa sighed.

"_Stop_ looking at him like that," he muttered, a fair amount of irritation in his voice. "You've been on my case for weeks to see him again and if you're just going to stare at him like he's a zoo animal we're going to leave."

His words shocked Duo and the other two, who sat straighter and adopted more neutral expressions.

"Well," Catharine said, "we can't help but be curious - you've kept him away from us for so long and he's -"

"Right here, beside me," Trowa sighed. "So just… get the embarrassing interrogation over with and let's try to act like normal human beings."

Duo saw Heero's lips twitch.

"I think that might be setting the bar a bit high for _all _of us," Duo murmured and Heero nodded in agreement.

Trowa sighed again, but there was a hint of a smile on his lips now.

"So tragically true," he agreed.

"I wasn't going to make the interrogation embarrassing in any case," Catharine spoke up. "Just a few incisive questions about your sex life and a few informative anecdotes about _your_ past exploits, Trowa."

Duo grinned.

"Oh - so we're playing the game of embarrass the hell out of Tro? I'm totally in for that."

Trowa gave him a rueful smile.

"Et tu, Duo?"

Heero chuckled and Duo grinned.

"Hey man, I like you and everything, but if there's a chance I can avoid them treating me like an animal in the zoo and get embarrassing stories about you as a bonus, I'm in."

Heero was smirking openly and Trowa shook his head.

"You're loving this, aren't you?"

Heero shrugged.

"I always like it when someone is willing to give you a hard time."

After that, dinner was surprisingly anticlimactic. Catharine had several stories about questionable boyfriends of Trowa in the past, and both she and Heero had several stories to share about Trowa getting himself covered in paint after Duo recounted his first experience with scenic painting.

By the time they left the restaurant and started walking towards the theatre, Duo was feeling relaxed for the first time all day.

Of course, as soon as they sat down inside the theatre he couldn't pass up the opportunity to toss his program onto Trowa's lap and give him a significant look.

It only took a moment for Trowa to remember Duo's offer of a public hand job from a few days ago.

"I don't think _either_ of us is wearing pants that would hide the evidence," Trowa told him and passed the program back.

"Too bad," Duo said and couldn't resist stretching a bit.

He felt gratified when Trowa's eyes looked him over, resting on Duo's crotch for a significant amount of time before he looked back at Duo's face.

"And now I'm going to spend the entire show thinking about your dick," Trowa said with a sigh.

Duo grinned.

"Me too! Well, I'm actually going to be thinking about _yours_ just as much, but…" he trailed off as the lights in the theatre dimmed.

Despite his promise to think about Trowa for the entire show, Duo found that he quickly lost himself in the action onstage.

_The Pillowman_ was dark, funny and devastating. Duo had never seen a play like quite like it, and the acting was some of the best he had ever seen. Wufei as the lead character, Katurian, was completely mesmerizing. The role was completely different than the last one Duo had seen him in, and he was impressed by just how versatile Wufei was.

Of course, despite the fact that Duo really, really wanted to hate him, Quatre as Detective Ariel was also great. Duo had no idea that Quatre could project that much anger and resentment - he seemed like such a _happy_ guy in general, but Ariel was anything but happy.

By the end of the show, Duo felt like he had been on an emotional rollercoaster, and when the final blackout fell he was momentarily stunned.

"Wow," was all he could say when Trowa looked at him questioningly.

But Trowa seemed to understand and he nodded.

"It's a lot to process," Trowa said and shrugged one shoulder, "it's not Shakespeare but…"

"But it was pretty damn powerful," Duo said.

He rose to his feet along with most of the audience to offer a standing ovation - he could only imagine how exhausted the actors were after that performance and they certainly deserved more than a few claps of approval.

Like the last time, Duo and Trowa waited in the theatre as the audience filed out, but unlike last time, there was no awkwardness between them.

There _was_ still that simmering sexual tension that Duo felt whenever he was touching Trowa, even if, like now, it was just the press of their thighs.

"Do you want to grab drinks with your friends before we head out?" Duo asked him. As much as he couldn't wait to get home and get Trowa naked, he also didn't mind the idea of talking to Wufei, Heero or Catharine again. The realization that Quatre would undoubtedly be there came a moment too late.

"Maybe one round," Trowa said. He leaned over and ran a hand down the inside of Duo's thigh, "but then I'm going to take you up on your offer to undress you."

Duo arched an eyebrow, borrowing Trowa's familiar expression.

"I certainly hope you're going to do more than undress, Tro."

Trowa smirked.

"I guess that depends on how patient you are while I undress you." His green eyes narrowed. "I doubt you'll be able to go even fifteen minutes without trying to get your way and your hands on my dick."

Duo swallowed hard at the challenge and the accompanying mental image.

"And if I _can_ wait more than fifteen minutes?" He wasn't entirely sure that he could, but he wasn't about to admit defeat.

"If you can, then I'll show you the right way to sixty-nine," Trowa practically purred.

Duo drew in a deep breath and channeled thoughts of Betty White.

"Jesus, Tro, you say that I know how to torture you… I'm going to have to sit in front of other people and make small talk while I have _that_ in my head?"

But Trowa only smirked and rose to his feet. He held out a hand to Duo.

"Come on, the sooner we go, the sooner we can get off," he said with a wink.

Duo took his hand and allowed Trowa to pull him to his feet.

"And you say I've got a dirty mouth…" he muttered but gamely followed Trowa out of the theatre and down to the bar.

Just before they stepped inside, Trowa stopped him.

"We don't have to go, if you don't want to," he said, his eyes searching Duo's face for something.

Duo shrugged.

"Your friends are cool and I know this is your chance to kind of celebrate and relax after all of your work. I really don't mind."

"Quatre will be here soon if he isn't already."

Duo drew in a deep breath.

"So long as he doesn't sit in your lap again I really don't care. After all, _I'm_ the one you're going to sixty-nine with tonight, not him."

Trowa stared at him a moment longer, clearly trying to judge the veracity of Duo's claim that he didn't care, but then he nodded.

"_Only_ if you can be patient," he reminded Duo of the challenge.

-o-

On Thursday morning Trowa woke up to find the circulation in his left arm almost completely cut off, no doubt due to the fact that Duo's head had decided that Trowa's arm was his pillow of preference.

He slowly eased his arm out and winced at the tingling sensation that fought against the numbness.

Duo shifted back against him, muttering something in his sleep, and Trowa used his right hand to smooth the bangs back from Duo's forehead.

He had noticed, over these past few weeks, that Duo was an extremely restless sleeper. Unless they had sex immediately before going to bed it seemed to take hours for Duo to drift off, and even after he had fallen asleep he seemed to wake up fairly often.

"You're thinking about me again," Duo muttered, his eyes still closed.

Trowa had to smile.

"When am I not?"

Duo also smiled at that and opened his eyes.

"Fair point - it's impossible not to, right?" He rolled over so that they were facing each other and adjusted his groin so that both of their morning erections were pressed together between their bodies.

Trowa arched an eyebrow at him and Duo just grinned.

"Hey, you never did show me how to sixty-nine," Duo pointed out.

"_You_ didn't last ten minutes before you were begging me to -"

"_You_ never said you were going to make me lay on the bed while you licked Amaretto off of my chest and my cock! I don't think it's reasonable to for you to cheat like that and -"

"So you're saying you don't want me to do that again?"

Duo scowled.

"I'm saying you tricked me, man. Here I was, just wanting to suck my favorite cock and _you_ decided to torture me instead."

"Well I still got to suck _my_ favorite dick," Trowa pointed out and took hold of Duo's erection. He stroked it slowly, pleased when Duo seemed to have trouble concentrating.

"Still cheating, Tro, still cheating."

"Going to punish me for that?" He teased and Duo actually smirked.

"I would, but I think you would enjoy it _way_ too much. And you aren't supposed to enjoy a punishment, Tro. That's just kinky."

Duo held his gaze for a long moment and then sucked in a breath when Trowa twisted his hand around his dick.

"Jesus, Tro, that feels incredible." Duo's hips were jerking forward in time with Trowa's hand and it was clear the younger man was on the verge of an orgasm.

Trowa decided to finish Duo off with his mouth and slid down the bed.

He released his hold on Duo, causing the younger man to groan in dissatisfaction before he gasped when Trowa swallowed him whole.

"Holy fuck, Tro - you have got to teach me how to do that! I - I'm not going to last very long," Duo was on the verge of being incoherent. He threaded his fingers through Trowa's hair, tugging just slightly, and Trowa gave him what he wanted - sucking hard and fast and very soon he found himself swallowing down Duo's semen while the young man shuddered beneath him.

"Why can't every morning start this way?" Duo asked once his breathing had returned to normal. He caught himself and seemed to tense. "I'm not saying we should move in or anything, I just -"

"Duo, are you proposing?" Trowa asked, using their old joke to ease the tension of out of Duo.

Duo chuckled.

"Not today, no."

Trowa had to agree with him though - it _would_ be nice to start the morning off like this but he, like Duo, definitely wasn't ready to even think about restructuring his life and making that kind of commitment.

He rejoined Duo at the head of the bed and Duo settled against him again, his back to Trowa's front.

They lay there in comfortable silence for a while, until Trowa finally decided that Duo was as likely as ever to answer a question he had been wanting to ask for more than a month now.

"What does this mean?" He asked, tracing the intricate knot tattoo on Duo's chest with his fingers.

"It's a Celtic knot. A Dara knot, it's an oak tree."

Trowa nodded. He could sense that it had a greater meaning for Duo but he didn't want to push him on it.

"It's symbolic," Duo breathed, his voice tense. "It's supposed to be a sign of endurance, _obviously_ that has nothing to do with my endurance in bed." It was clear that Duo was side-stepping the real meaning and Trowa allowed it.

"Well, you might not last very long, but you've at least got the endurance to go several rounds," Trowa pointed out and kissed his shoulder.

Duo snorted a laugh but then sighed.

"It's… I guess it's just more about the fact that oak trees are really, really strong and they can endure anything, right? They have this amazing strength and it might not _seem_ like they can survive, but they can."

"Like you managed to survive the combined efforts of Wufei, Heero and Catharine last night as they tried to get you to talk about our sex life," Trowa suggested, offering Duo a way to keep the conversation light even though he hoped Duo wouldn't take it.

"Or like I endured Quatre trying to put his arm around you at the bar," Duo muttered. "The guy just doesn't seem to get that you aren't interested. I mean - your body language was screaming back off and he just… I don't get it."

"Quatre isn't used to not getting his way. I think he doesn't really understand what no means."

"Clearly."

Duo was quiet for several more minutes.

"My mom was kind of… I don't know, I guess like a hippy-Druid type? She loved all the Celtic mythology and had this really close relationship to nature and… it was weird, because my _Dad_ loves technology and he's a freaking Colonel in the Army but somehow they made it work. Anyway, she had a tattoo - a Celtic knot."

"Like yours?"

"No, hers was a motherhood knot - with dots for Solo and I - and I always thought it was cool… I mean, I only have this one memory of it, since she died when I was six but… Anyway, Solo got one of his own - not a motherhood knot," Duo added quickly and shook his head, "a mandala - it was huge, his entire back. I don't know how he did it, I mean this thing hurt like a bitch but his was so much bigger."

"So it's a family tradition," Trowa decided.

"Yeah. I guess so. After Solo died I just… kind of wanted to feel connected to them, you know? I was only sixteen when I got it and my Dad was _pissed_ but… not much you can do about it after the fact, yanno?"

"Do you two still talk?" Trowa asked, wondering if Duo's father was even alive.

"Nah. The Colonel and I pretty much maintain radio silence except on Christmas. It's kind of better that way."

Duo drew in a deep, shuddery breath and Trowa resisted the urge to hug him, but then decided he _wanted_ to and he pulled Duo close and wrapped his arms around him, holding him firmly against his body.

Duo was stiff for a moment, but then relaxed against him.

"You do have endurance," Trowa assured him.

Duo started to shake his head in disagreement.

"You do," Trowa insisted. "And amazing strength. I've never met anyone like you, Duo."

"Yeah, well, that's because you spend your entire life locked in a dark building playing make believe," Duo muttered.

Trowa allowed him to lighten the mood. Duo had revealed a lot of himself and Trowa frankly felt privileged. He didn't want to push Duo for more.

"What about your family?" Duo asked, surprising Trowa.

"My family?"

"Yeah, you know, parents… siblings?"

"I'm an only child. My parents live in Vegas - they work for Cirque du Soleil."

"Really?"

"Yeah. My mother is a costumer and my father is a stage manager, actually."

"So this is a family thing for you? Being a scenic designer?"

"It was that or join the circus," Trowa shrugged. "And I prefer being backstage to being on it."

"Really? Don't tell me you have stage fright."

"No. I just… I'm not the best at expressing emotions, even when I'm feeling them, so faking something for an audience just never worked."

"Hmm. I bet I can get you to express a few emotions," Duo said, and there was a tone to his voice that meant Trowa was about to be tortured.

He smiled, anticipating where this was going.  
"I doubt that. I'm incredibly stoic, Duo. Just ask -" but he had to stop, because Duo was already doing something with his hand that made Trowa forget how to speak.

-o-

Criminal Records was a kind of safe haven for Duo.

He had always enjoyed comic books, and growing up it had been something that he and his brother were able to enjoy together - or argue about together, as had often been the case.

Despite the fact that he was now twenty-three and had more adult things to occupy his time and his finances, Duo still had a habit of going to the comic book store once a month to pick up a few things.

As kid, he and Solo had been obsessed with the X-Men and with Batman, but in the last few years Duo had started to branch out from Marvel and DC titles. His current passion was Lazarus, and even though the publishing seemed to be a little infrequent, the tenth issue had finally come out yesterday.

When he arrived at Criminal Records on Tuesday he took a moment to breathe deeply. It didn't matter what comic book store he was in or even where the comic book store was, the smell of ink, plastic and paper mixed together was one that would forever remind him of Solo.

He spotted the new issue of Lazarus quickly and leafed through it, though there was no doubt he would be leaving the store with at least that.

It was easy to lose himself in comics, and after he assured himself that the new issue was just as promising as the old issues, Duo held the comic under his arm and started to browse the aisles, looking at old favorites and searching for new interests.

"Hey."

Duo was startled out of an issue of Sex Criminals.

He looked up to see Wufei standing in the aisle across from him.

"Hey," he replied, feeling a bit embarrassed to be caught in a comic book store until he remembered that Wufei's geekiness rivaled his own. "What brings you here?"

Wufei gave him a look.

"I came to get the new issue of Lazarus."

Duo grinned.

"Me too," he gestured to the copy tucked under his arm. "It's a pretty solid series."

Wufei nodded in agreement and looked at the comic Duo was holding. He angled it so Wufei could see the title better.

"I haven't read that series," Wufei said.

"Me either. Seemed kind of interesting."

He passed it to Wufei, who took it and leafed through it, glancing at the pages before reading the description on the back cover.

"Hm. A lot of heterosexual sex," he said.

Duo rolled his eyes.

"Welcome to comics, man. The story seems cool, though."

"It does. Let me know what you think of it," Wufei said.

"Of course. Um… how's _The Tempest _going? Trowa told me you were Caliban."

Wufei nodded and a slight smirk curved his lips.

"Rehearsals are going well. Caliban is actually a dream role of mine, so it's been good."

"Caliban? Not Ariel?"

Wufei shrugged.

"Both are, I suppose. But I like the darker roles - and Caliban is certainly more complex than Ariel. At least more complex than Quatre's Ariel."

"Oh. That's too bad. He seems like a really great actor."

Wufei looked at him closely.

"You really don't care that Trowa works with him all of the time?"

Duo shrugged.

"Should I? I mean, if Trowa wanted to be with him then he would be with him, right?"

That was the motto Duo had adopted the night they had gone out to the bar after _The Pillowman_ and while he had definitely been jealous and angry at the way Quatre tried to feel up Trowa, Trowa had made it very clear by his actions that he wasn't interested in Quatre.

In the weeks since then Duo hadn't even bothered to give Quatre much thought. He had gone in to help Trowa paint a few times, and once Quatre had been loitering around the shop after a rehearsal, flirting with Trowa like crazy, but had finally shut up and left when he saw how little effect he was having on Duo or Trowa.

"You're pretty smart for someone so young," Wufei murmured.

Duo shrugged.

"Nah. I just know that Trowa's a good guy - and while I question his taste on some things, he's clearly not enough of an idiot to let Quatre ruin his life."

Duo hesitated, wondering if that was going too far. After all, Wufei and Quatre worked together seemingly all of the time.

But Wufei smirked.

"At least he has the good taste to be interested in _you_," Wufei said. "Which reminds me, why don't you come over for dinner on Sunday night?"

"Umm…"

"It's a standing tradition for Heero and myself to invite Trowa over for dinner on Sundays. We usually take the opportunity to quiz him about _you_but if you are there in person we might have to find a new topic of conversation…" Wufei trailed off, looking thoughtful.

Duo had to grin.

"We could always talk about Trowa instead. Lord knows the guy never talks about himself."

Wufei nodded in agreement.

"Excellent idea."

"That or your appalling taste in super-heroes," Duo had to add as Wufei picked up an issue of The Punisher.

Wufei arched an eyebrow.

"I'm not the one walking out of here with a copy of Aquaman," he pointed out and nodded to the other comic under Duo's arm.

Duo had spent _years_ being teased about his love of Aquaman - first by Solo, then by comic book store clerks and customers.

Duo rolled his eyes.

"I see. You're one of those guys who is all about flash and cool powers. You don't appreciate the fact that Aquaman has to struggle against his reputation and his second rate powers to save people. You're just into the more superficial heroes, right?"

Wufei did an eye roll of his own.

"For the love of God, he talks to _fish_, Duo."

"Yeah - he cares about the environment too and really hates it when his actions have a negative impact on others." He gave a significant look towards The Punisher. "Unlike _some_ people I could name."

Wufei just shook his head in pity.

"Plus, you've got to admit that ever since they did the rework in the New 52, he looks _hot_."

That earned a smirk and a nod of agreement from Wufei.

"He's still in that unfortunate orange and green combination," Wufei murmured, "but you're right - he does look infinitely better."

Duo only had a moment to enjoy his triumph before Wufei continued.

"I'm surprised you didn't realize you were gay sooner - surely you've noticed yourself staring at male heroes more than female ones before?"

The question caught Duo off guard and he took a moment to think about it.

"I don't know. I mean, not really actually. And it's not like I find women unattractive now, I just think men are attractive too. I just… before Trowa kissed me it never even occurred to me that men were sexual objects, you know?"

Wufei gave him an odd look.

"So do you like Trowa _despite_ the fact that he's a guy?"

"No. At first I wondered if that was the case - but definitely not _despite_ that. I actually… I just - have you ever been with a woman?"

Wufei shook his head in the negative.

"It's nice - I'd say you should try it some time, but you seem pretty fixed on Heero. But it's different. With Trowa… maybe it's because we're the same sex, but there's a lot of things he just _gets_ about me. And I'd be lying if I said his body wasn't amazing. I like, you know, the leanness and the hardness of him."

"I imagine the hardness is something you are especially fond of," Wufei teased.

Duo found himself flushing but he nodded.

"You know what I meant - but I am pretty fond of that kind of hardness too," he shrugged. It was strange to be having this conversation, but at the same time, it was good. Duo knew he had Hilde to talk to anytime he wanted to, about anything, but there was something to be said for talking to a gay man.

"I'm sure it took getting used to, though - sex with a man instead of with a woman," Wufei said.

Duo started to nod and then found himself pausing.

"Yeah, but… Trowa's kind of amazing - not just in bed but in general - he's been really cool about letting me push past my boundaries at my own pace."

Wufei arched an eyebrow.

"You still have boundaries?"

Duo sighed.

"Yeah. I do. I just…" he trailed off, unsure what exactly to say or even how to explain himself. Especially to Wufei, Trowa's friend and a gay man in a committed relationship.

"I'm sorry. I was prying into something that wasn't my business," Wufei said and started to move away.

"No!" Duo stopped him. "It's not that. I mean, it would actually be nice to talk to someone about this."

"Why not talk to Trowa?"

Duo gave him a look.

"Because _that_ conversation isn't going to make me look like an idiot."

"Which conversation?"

"The one where I tell him that I kind of want to try anal sex but at the same time I'm pretty sure it's going to hurt like hell and I'm going to freak out and he's going to dump me."

"Oh. That one."

Wufei looked caught between amusement and sympathy.

"Go ahead. Laugh."

"No, it's not really funny - it is a little, but not really," Wufei seemed to be trying to convince himself. "Do you want to grab some coffee?"

"Now?"

Wufei shrugged.

"If you feel like talking. We _could_ keep talking about gay sex in the middle of a comic book store while horny teenagers are walking around looking for M rated comics or we can go sit and talk somewhere more private."

Duo had to smile as he noticed a pimply kid next to Wufei drop the comic he had been holding and move away - the open pages revealed it to be more pornographic than not.

"Yeah. That would be great actually."

He and Wufei made their purchases and Duo bit his tongue when Wufei bought that issue of The Punisher, but he decided that if Wufei was going to be his new gay confidant, then he was going to have to let his appalling taste in comics slide. At least for now.

Twenty minutes later they were sitting down at a blessedly empty Starbucks.

Duo didn't normally care for iced coffee, but it was hot enough outside that he had given in to the urge and he was incredibly grateful since Wufei sat down and promptly asked him whether or not this had anything to do with how big Trowa's dick was.

Duo choked on his drink and Wufei waited patiently for him to be able to breathe again before repeating his question.

"I know he's big - is that the problem? You think it's going to hurt because of his size?"

"Jesus, man. Um, that's not - I mean, okay, yeah. I worry about that a little but I'm pretty sure it would hurt even if he was small."

Wufei shrugged.

"You're a virgin - the first time you put your finger inside it's probably going to hurt a little."

"So why do it?" Duo had to ask. If a _finger _was going to hurt then how much was _Trowa_?

"Because as soon as you get used to it and figure out how to stimulate the prostate you're going to have the most amazing orgasms of your life," Wufei said, his voice making it clear that he thought this was something even an idiot should understand.

Duo sighed.

"Okay, but - doesn't it sound weird, having to get used to pain?"

Wufei shook his head.

"That's not it - it doesn't hurt, well, it _can_ if you don't use enough lube or you're too tense - but it shouldn't. You just need to get used to the feeling."

Duo sighed.

"The feeling of having a cock up my ass."

"Yes, that would be the feeling I'm talking about," Wufei said with a smirk.

"It's just...okay, but what if I hurt him? I don't know what I'm doing and -"

"Trowa is fairly experienced, so he's going to stop you before you hurt him - and he's also going to know how to prepare you so that he doesn't hurt you either." Wufei looked at him intently for a moment. "The only drawback for you right now is the potential pain, right?"

Duo nodded.

"You aren't bothered by the hygiene or the fact that it's gay sex or any of that?"

"_Should_ I be worried about the hygiene?" Duo had to ask. He had wondered what to do about that - but the only advice he had found on the internet was to do routine enemas, and he wasn't too thrilled about _that_ idea either.

"If you're just a freak about things you can do enemas, but it's just going to make you sore and tired - there's really no point. Just make sure you have a decent amount of fiber in your diet and start using baby wipes. Try to make sure your bowels are empty before you have sex and you should be fine."

Duo drew in a deep breath.

"And the pain? Any tips for dealing with that?"

Wufei shrugged one shoulder.

"I'd say deal with it on your own. If you don't want to risk freaking out on Trowa - and i have to point out that if you can't freak out with him then your relationship could probably use some work - then try anal masturabtion on your own."

"It's not that I _can't_ freak out with him" Duo argued. "I just don't _want_ to. Wait - anal masturbation?"

Wufei nodded.

"Of course - do you even watch porn?"

"Yeah but… most of it has just been oral sex and frot."

Wufei sighed and then leaned forward.

"You want to use plenty of lube - trust me, with sex, no one _ever_ went wrong by using more than enough lube. Just use one finger at first and explore. You've massaged your perineum before right?"

"No…"

Wufei sighed again.

"Do you know what it is?"

Duo shook his head in the negative.

"The space between your balls and your anus. It's very sensitive, and your prostate is just on the other side of that. Try massaging that area first to relax yourself… and excite yourself I suppose. Once you've adjusted to _that_ try putting a finger inside - take it slow and make sure your nails are clipped as closely as possible and really smooth. You do _not_ want to cut yourself."

Duo felt like he should be taking notes.

"Once you've got a finger inside you want to try to find - it's kind of like a knot, almost like a walnut sized knot of tissue. That's the prostate. Try massaging - _gently_ - don't start stabbing yourself or it's going to feel like shit. Once you're fine with one finger, try two, and after you're comfortable with two fingers try a dildo."

"A dildo?"

"Of course you don't have one," Wufei murmured and then looked at his cell phone. "I still have an hour before I need to be at the theatre, come on."

Wufei stood up from the table.

"Wait, what?"

"Come on, I'll take you to Capulets and help you pick out something."

"You're going to help me pick out a dildo… this is _not_ how I saw today going at all."

Wufei smirked.

"Then it's a lucky thing you ran into me."


	13. Chapter 13

_The Road Not Taken_

Chapter 13

"Give me my sin again."

Trowa looked up from his notepad to find his face directly level with a blue, bulging crotch.

With a sigh, he raised his gaze to see the rest of Quatre, a teasing smirk on his face.

"Your costume?" Trowa hazarded.

Quatre inclined his head and then struck a pose, thrusting his crotch closer to Trowa's face in the process.

"What do you think? I had to do a last minute fitting before we start tech and I couldn't _not_ let you see me like this. Remember the last time Cathy put me in a body suit? For _Midsummer_?"

As if Trowa would ever forget. Seeing Quatre like in a similar, body hugging costume now brought back all of the memories of that night years ago that Trowa wished he could forget.

"I remember," he finally said.

Quatre sighed dramatically and sat down next to Trowa.

"Why are you being like this? Don't act like you're some wounded, innocent virgin that I corrupted."

"I'm not acting like that," Trowa snapped.

Quatre arched an eyebrow.

"Really? Then explain why you avoid me completely - you never talk to me and whenever I try to talk to _you_ - you run away or just sit there and glare at me _or_ you ignore me."

"What do we even have to talk about, Quatre? All we ever had in common before was sex - and we don't have that anymore."

"We still have our work - and I'm certainly still willing to have sex."

"I'm _with_ someone."

"You were with someone before and it didn't stop you," Quatre pointed out.

Trowa clenched his jaw against the immediate desire to verbally lash out at Quatre.

"I love him," Trowa finally said.

Quatre stared at him in silence for a long moment and then sighed.

"Hear my soul speak. Of the very instant that I saw you, Did my heart fly at your service."

Trowa shook his head, unwilling to play this game anymore.

"No. We went down that path, Quatre - we took that road and it led us nowhere."

"Because you turned around," Quatre muttered.

"Quatre, I don't know what you want from me - you don't even want me most of the time."

"I always want you, Trowa."

"Quatre -"

"_Fine._ Cathy wants me to try out the trap in this costume to make sure it doesn't catch on anything. Can you at least tolerate me for the five minutes it will take you to show me how to use the damn thing?"

Trowa sighed.

"Of course." He sat down his notebook and stood.

Quatre followed him up onto the stage and Trowa wove his way through the ship wreckage that made up the set for _The Tempest_. He led Quatre up a ladder to the highest deck of the ship, into which a trap door had been built so that Ariel could disappear.

"The bodysuit shouldn't catch on anything," Trowa told Quatre. "The opening has been sanded down pretty well and the landing is cushioned.

Quatre nodded.

"I figured as much."

"Do you want me to go first?" Trowa offered when Quatre didn't immediately jump down the trap. He knew that Quatre wasn't the best with heights, and jumping down into a dark hole for the first time was bound to be intimidating for him.

Quatre nodded, a look of anxiety marring his fair features.

Trowa nodded.

"You know what to do. Just focus on the center and step in. Keep your hands and feet tight and don't stiffen your knees when you land. It's nowhere near as long of a drop as the one we made for _Dracula_ last year. You'll be down at the bottom before you even realize it."

"Without a broken neck?"

"Of course without a broken neck. Just because I don't want you in my bed anymore doesn't mean I want you dead. Do you have any idea how much paperwork is involved in a lawsuit involving dead actors?"

The weak joke earned him a weak smile in return.

Trowa looked down at the open trap, picked a spot in the center to aim for, and then jumped down.

It was only a few heartbeats later when he landed on the pile of mattresses down in the trap room. He started to roll off, but an instant later Quatre's solid weight landed on top of him. Trowa's left shoulder took the brunt of the impact and he couldn't stop himself from cursing at the sudden, jarring pain.

"Fucking hell!"

Quatre rolled away in an instant.

"Shit. I am so sorry - I wasn't thinking - I should have waited for you to say you were clear and -"

"You're damn right you should have." Trowa pulled himself up to his feet and rolled his shoulder experimentally. It hurt like hell, but nothing felt broken. "You could have broken my neck."

"I know! I'm so sorry! Here - can I help?" Quatre reached out to him but Trowa stepped back.

"Just leave it, Quatre. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

Quatre was genuinely concerned, but that did little to alleviate the pain and frustration Trowa felt.

"_Yes_," he finally said. "Just - go up and practice the trap a few more times or you're going to freak yourself out. I'll stand over here and watch."

Quatre looked at him for a long moment, concern in his eyes, but then he sighed and walked out of the trap room.

It was only a moment later when Quatre's voice called down.

"All clear?"

Trowa wanted to roll his eyes. _Now_ he cared about safety.

"All clear," he shouted.

A moment later, Quatre landed on the pile of mattresses.

"That feels a lot better when your bony ass isn't there," Quatre said as he stood up, an uneasy smile on his face.

Trowa wanted to hold onto his anger, but he just couldn't - not when Quatre looked at him like that.

"Please. If anyone around here has a bony ass it's you," he shot back and Quatre smirked.

"One more time," Trowa suggested and nodded towards the trap.

Quatre sighed.

"I guess I should be grateful we didn't have the budget for flying effects - at least throwing myself down a dark hole isn't as damned terrifying as having to fly forty feet into the air."

"I hear the Horizon is planning on doing _Peter Pan_ next season - sure you don't want to audition?"

Quatre glared.

"Never, in a million years, will I be in that musical."

Trowa smirked. He, like Quatre, had a list of shows he absolutely wanted nothing to do with, and while he didn't particularly like musicals, Quatre hated them with a passion, and _Peter Pan_ was at the top of that list.

He watched Quatre jump through the trap once more before he made his escape and went in search of an ice pack. He found one in the green room and wrapped it up in a towel before heading back out to the house.

He returned to his seat and then wedged the ice pack between the seat back and his left shoulder, hoping the cold would soon numb his skin.

"What the hell happened to you?" Heero asked when he joined him a few minutes later.

"Quatre," Trowa muttered.

Heero arched an eyebrow, but for once seemed willing to let something drop. Instead he merely passed Trowa a bag of peanut M&Ms.

Trowa accepted them with a sigh and then settled in, mentally preparing himself for ten hours of anxiety.

-o-

It was just after midnight when Trowa called, rousing Duo from a light sleep.

"Hey," Duo said, feeling inexplicably guilty about sleeping when Trowa had been working. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore and tired. My shoulder hurts but it's not that big of a deal. I'm just old."

Duo refrained from going in for an easy kill.

"Still up for a massage?" He asked, trying to sound nonchalant about it. Trowa had called him earlier on his dinner break and had sounded miserable. Duo had managed to wheedle the story of Quatre and the trap disaster out of him and offered to give Trowa a massage that night once his tech was over. Trowa had sounded pretty enthusiastic about the offer, and Duo had immediately started planning ahead.

When he was in college he had taken an elective course in massage therapy - at the time it had seemed like an easy A and a great skill to learn for impressing women. While the class had definitely not been an easy course, it had given Duo plenty of opportunities over the years to show off his skills and had definitely helped him win points with his girlfriends.

While he was perfectly happy to actually give Trowa a massage - a thorough one that relaxed him completely and worked out his stress - Duo honestly couldn't think of a better way to try to show Trowa that he was interested in anal sex.

Ever since his run in with Wufei more than a week ago, Duo had slowly been working his way up to the point where he felt he could _finally_ do this without ruining it. The chance to have Trowa naked and oiled up seemed to perfect an opportunity to pass up - so he had gone to the store and searched for the perfect water based massage oil that could also double as a lubricant before spending the rest of the evening cleaning his apartment and washing his sheets.

"It's late," Trowa said, and Duo fought against his disappointment, "if you're tired I can just go home and -"

"No," Duo interrupted him. "I'm not tired at all. Come over, let me take care of you."

"I'd appreciate that," Trowa said.

He sounded just tired enough that Duo felt a moment of guilt. He _did_ want to take care of Trowa and make him feel better - but he also really wanted sex. He decided to see where Trowa stood after the massage. If he was too tired, then Duo would simply come up with another plan for another day.

It was another ten minutes before Trowa arrived at the apartment, and in that time Duo changed into a pair of light cotton shorts and a t-shirt. He wanted to be comfortable and he didn't want to make this too obviously about sex right away.

Trowa smiled at him when he opened the door, and he looked tired and the tightness around his eyes conveyed a fair amount of pain.

"Shit, Tro, you look awful," Duo said before he could think to stop himself.

Trowa's lips twisted into a smirk.

"He sees his love, and nothing else he sees, nor nothing else with his proud sight agrees," Trowa quoted _Twelfth Night_ and Duo felt a moment of guilt.

"I only meant -" he started to say, but Trowa kissed him.

"I know," Trowa assured him once they had parted. "And I appreciate the concern."

Duo took Trowa's coffee mug from him and his bag, setting the bag by the couch and taking the coffee mug to the kitchen to rinse out. Trowa had stayed over often enough at this point that Duo had gotten into the habit of rinsing out his coffee mug while the other man settled in. It was weirdly domestic, but Duo found it comforting, thinking about Trowa settling into his home while he cleaned the mug.

His task done, he went in search of Trowa, and wasn't surprised to find him already in the bed, stripped down to his boxer briefs and laying on his stomach. For a minute Duo wondered if he was already asleep.

"If you want a massage you're going to have to lose the boxers," Duo instructed, "I don't want to get stuff all over them and besides, they cut into your circulation."

Trowa sighed and rolled over to pull them off, giving Duo a look.

"You just want to get me naked," he suggested and Duo smirked back at him.

"Always," he assured Trowa. "Now roll over and get comfortable.

He grabbed the tube of Durex 2 in 1 massage oil and lubricant from the nightstand and flipped open the cap. He was glad that Trowa was already naked and face down on the bed - it might be a bit complicated to explain why Duo is using _that_ as a massage oil instead of something else.

Duo spread a generous amount of the thick, clear gel on his right palm before closing the tube and putting it down on the bed beside Trowa's waist, keeping it in easy reach so that he could add more as the massage proceeded.

He rubbed his hands together, warming and spreading the gel, and then moved lower to straddle Trowa's hips so that he could easily reach his entire back.

He started off with Trowa's shoulders and worked at the tense muscles, trying to ease him into relaxation.

He heard Trowa hiss in what could have been pain or pleasure, and when Duo applied more pressure Trowa groaned slightly before he could catch himself. Clearly, in addition to the pain in his shoulders, he was also very tense and his muscles had been needing this kind of attention for quite a while.

Duo took his time, working his way down Trowa's back and his hips, taking his time to focus on problem areas. After an hour of deep, concentrated massaging, Duo could feel how much tension Trowa's body had released. His back was hot to the touch, but now when Duo kneaded his flesh he was moaning in pleasure instead of groaning at the pain of working through knotted flesh.

He added more of the massage oil to his hands and sat back on his heels, trying to take most of his weight off of Trowa's thighs.

"Are you still awake?" He asked lightly. If Trowa _was_ asleep then Duo did not want to wake him, and judging by Trowa's deep, even breathing, there was every chance the older man had surrendered to his exhaustion.

"Yes," Trowa answered, his voice soft and gravely against the pillow. He sounded like a contented cat, and he even stretched a little, squirming between Duo's legs as he tried for more contact. "Definitely relaxed, though. Thank you. I really needed that."

He started to turn over and Duo allowed him, sitting up on his knees so that Trowa could roll onto his back but still straddling him.

He was more than a little gratified to see that Trowa was half-hard and he wondered if it was just a reaction to having his naked body touched or if it was more directly tied to Duo's stimulation of him.

"Well, I wasn't really done yet," Duo and held up his lube covered hands.

"I'm sorry, I - you really don't mind doing more?"

Duo had to grin at that. Trowa clearly had no idea what Duo had planned for this evening, and it wasn't as if he was trying to offer Duo an opening, but it was too perfect not to take it.

"Actually I'd mind it if we _didn't _do more," he murmured and lowered his hands to Trowa's strong thighs.

The other man shivered at the feel of the gel, warm but still alien, on his skin.

"Do you want me to roll back over?" Trowa asked, and the look in his eyes made it clear that he was rapidly catching on to Duo's future plans. Well, at least part of them.

"Nah," Duo assured him, digging his fingers firmly into Trowa's thighs and enjoying the way Trowa's breath hitched at the sensation. "I think your back has had enough attention for now. Something else is looking a little neglected, though," he said and gave Trowa's hardening erection a significant look.

Trowa arched an eyebrow.

"Your massage class included lessons on giving happy endings?" He asked.

Duo smirked.

"Nope. But I guess you could say I've been taking a kind of independent study recently, so I haven't been graded or anything on any of this stuff… I've just been practicing on my own…"

Trowa smirked.

"Are you asking for my feedback?"

Duo shrugged one shoulder.

"Yeah," he decided. He knew that Trowa was still just joking, but considering Duo's plans, he needed to make sure Trowa told him if he was doing something wrong. "Do you mind? Telling me how it feels - what you want?"

He couldn't quite keep the anxiety out of his voice and Trowa started to frown slightly. Duo gave him a crooked grin.

"You know how much it turns me on when you talk during sex," he told Trowa and the other man smirked back.

Duo moved off the bed.

"Spread your legs some and let me sit between them," he instructed Trowa, who complied, opening his legs wide and giving Duo a likely unintentional view of his real goal for tonight: the dark, tight ring of muscle nestled between Trowa's firm ass cheeks.

He swallowed hard, feeling arousal and anxiety in equal measure, and climbed between Trowa's legs and settled back on his heels.

"Are you cold?" Duo asked, taking in Trowa's already peaked nipples.

"No," Trowa assured him, "I'm just really ready for you to start on this experimental frontal massage you hinted at."

Duo had to grin at the growl in Trowa's voice. He loved it when Trowa's calm composure broke when they intimate. He loved knowing he could do this to Trowa, and he set to work, intent on giving his lover as much pleasure as he possibly could.

He ran his hands over the insides of Trowa's thighs and the body beneath him shivered. Duo applied more pressure, but skirted past the nest of dark curls and the jutting erection and continued up Trowa's torso, lightly across his ticklish abdomen, and then tweaked Trowa's nipples, applying just enough pressure to cause Trowa to hiss in pain even while he arched into the touch. He had noticed several times now that Trowa enjoyed the kind of pleasure that was just this side of being painful, and he wondered just why Trowa _wasn't_ into BDSM. It was clear that he liked the pain and he had demonstrated repeatedly that he thoroughly enjoyed letting Duo take charge of him, his body, and their sex.

He thought about it more as he played with Trowa, alternating between teasing his nipples and his thighs, and decided that this, like so many other things, probably had more to do with Quatre than with Trowa. Duo had a hard time seeing _Quatre_ keen on taking a dominant position with Trowa, and even he knew that a fair amount of his attraction to Trowa - as a friend and a lover - were because he seemed so calm and in control of things. But Duo _liked_ wrestling that control away - at least he did now that he felt like he knew what he was doing.

That last thought brought him back to the present.

He knew, in theory, what he wanted to do next. He had even practiced some of this on himself, but this was Trowa - experienced, sensual, amazing Trowa - and Duo really didn't want to fuck this up.

"How does it feel?" Duo asked Trowa.

The other man glared at him.

"It feels like I'm being tortured, Duo," he said. "You _know_ what I want you to do and you're not doing it."

Duo had to smirk at the slightly petulant tone in Trowa's voice.

"Well, _maybe_ I know what you want me to do, but maybe I don't - why don't you tell me?"

"I want you to touch my dick," Trowa said, adding in an upwards thrust of his hips to emphasize his point.

"I dunno…" Duo ran his hands into the edges of Trowa's neatly trimmed pubic hair, tugging just a little, and Trowa arched upwards again. Duo could see the glisten of precum on the head of Trowa's cock and he felt his mouth water at the sight. Amazing to think that three months ago he had never entertained the idea of putting a cock in his mouth and that now the sight of that glistening bead of precum had him practically licking his lips.

"Duo, please," Trowa begged and that was all Duo needed - the sound of Trowa desperate and aroused and saying his name - and he was able to muster his confidence.

He used his left hand to loosely grip Trowa's shaft and gave a long tug, earning a moan of ecstasy from Trowa. Duo used his other hand to play with Trowa's nipples more, but he kept his grip light and his pace slow, wanting to draw this out and build up Trowa's pleasure as much as he could.

It wasn't long before Trowa was arching up to meet his hand, angling his hips forward and clearly hoping for more pressure.

"What do you want?" He asked Trowa and he had to kiss Trowa when his unfocused, lust filled green eyes latched onto him.

He explored the hot cavern of Trowa's mouth, now so familiar to him, but still so exciting that each kiss felt like their first, as though they were experiencing some new sensation together.

When he pulled away Trowa looked even more unfocused and Duo could tell that even though he wasn't giving Trowa the pressure or the rhythm he preferred, he still had the other man close to orgasm.

"I want you to suck me off," Trowa said.

That had been what Duo was hoping for.

"Are you sure?" He tightened his grip and gave a hard tug on Trowa's cock and the other man closed his eyes and moaned in pleasure.

Duo used the momentary distraction to grab the lube contained and move it down to rest by his knees, out of Trowa's sight and within easy access for Duo.

"Yes," Trowa breathed, though it was clear he wasn't dissatisfied with Duo's hand anymore.

But Duo happily obliged him, after all he had been wanting to have Trowa's cock in his mouth since he had come up with this plan earlier that afternoon, and he laved at the head of Trowa's cock, teasing him.

Trowa exhaled sharply when Duo pressed the tip of his tongue against the small slit and then drew in a loud, deep breath when Duo opened his mouth and tried to swallow all of him down.

He was learning how to take more of Trowa's cock into his mouth at once, learning how to work him deeper and longer, but he was still unable to deepthroat him and still unsure about letting Trowa fuck his mouth freely the way Trowa encouraged _Duo_ to do with him.

Besides, tonight his focus was going to be split, and he didn't think it was the right time to try to work past his gag reflex _and_ safely finger Trowa.

So he used his mouth languidly, easing Trowa back from the brink of orgasm and applying just enough pressure and suction to keep him on edge.

As he did so, Duo continued to play with Trowa's nipples with his left hand but squirted a large dollop of lube onto the fingers of his right. He rubbed his fingers together, warming the gel, and then slowly, gently started to massage Trowa's balls.

The other man opened his legs even more, likely out of some instinct for more contact, but it certainly helped Duo reach his goal.

He ran his fingers down to Trowa's perineum, and this was his first purposeful move in that direction. He hadn't exactly avoided that area, or Trowa's ass, in the past, but aside from squeezing his ass cheeks or being sloppy when he touched Trowa's balls, he had stayed away from this area.

It was instantly clear that his efforts to distract Trowa with the blow job had failed. He could feel Trowa's entire body tense and he pulled his hand and mouth away, suddenly worried that this had been a really, really bad idea.

"Duo?" Trowa asked, some of the sharpness of his clear eyes back.

"Trowa?" He tried to respond lightly, echoing the questioning tone. He was struck by the sudden idea that maybe Trowa didn't _want_ Duo to touch him like that. Maybe he had missed his chance with all of his protestations about the pain of anal sex? Maybe Trowa, despite his earlier statements to the contrary, really did prefer to top?

Or maybe Duo had hurt him? Had he already fucked this up?

"Did I hurt you?" He had to ask, the fear of causing Trowa pain speeding up his heart rate.

"No. No, it felt really good," Trowa assured him, his eyes searching Duo's face.

"Do you want me to stop? Or keep going?" Duo asked him.

Trowa took a long while answering.

"You said you've been practicing?" He finally asked.

Duo nodded.

"On myself," he repeated. "So - I could be doing this all wrong. And if you don't want to do this, I totally understand and -"

"Duo. I've wanted to do this since the first time I heard your voice on the phone. Do _you_ want to do this?"

Duo nodded again.

"Yeah. I do. I just - I don't want to hurt you."

Trowa sat up then, bending his legs at the knee and Duo was impressed by his core muscle strength, not for the first time.

Trowa's new position brought them very close together and Duo had to fight against the urge to lean forward against Trowa and just let him take complete control of this.

"Let me see your hands."

Duo offered his hands up for inspection and he watched as Trowa ran the pad of his right thumb over the tips of Duo's short, trimmed nails.

"I noticed you starting trimming your nails shorter last week," Trowa murmured.

Duo nodded.

"I didn't want to cut myself or -"

He stopped at Trowa's sharp inhale.

"You've been fingering yourself?" Trowa asked, his tone strange.

"Yeah," Duo said cautiously, "I just - it seemed like a good way to figure out if I could handle it, you know?"

Trowa was looking at him strangely.

"And you can handle it?" Trowa asked.

Duo felt himself blush.

"Yeah, I think I can _handle_ it pretty damn well."

Trowa arched an eyebrow in question and Duo sighed.

"The first time I did it I kind of freaked myself out and I couldn't _find_ my damn prostate but then I calmed down and I found it and…" he still felt embarrassed by this part. "I had no idea I could get off by just doing that."

"It's not uncommon," Trowa said, repeating what Wufei had said to him before, but there was a heat and an awareness in Trowa's gaze that made Duo shift forward. "But it's not _that_ common either, to get off just by finger fucking yourself."

Duo blushed again, this time at Trowa's words and the heat in his eyes.

"Do you?" He asked.

Trowa shrugged.

"Sometimes, usually a finger or two isn't really enough for me, though." Duo nodded.

"That's why I was going down on you - well that and I didn't want to make a big deal out of this and I figured I could just… work my way to it."

"You've been planning this all night?" Trowa asked, a smirk slowly spreading across his face. "Ever since I called you and told you about today, haven't you?"

Duo offered a rueful smile.

"I really _did_ want to give you a massage," he protested, "but I also figured it was a good way to get you naked and in the mood."

"Because you need to make plans for either of those," Trowa muttered. "Just say the word, Duo, and I'll be naked and in the mood whenever you want."

Duo had to grin.

"Like right now?"

Trowa nodded.

"Yeah. Like now. But what are _you_ in the mood for?"

"I… well, I wanted to touch you, to finger fuck you," he added, using Trowa's words, "and I guess if you wanted more I wanted to try more but it's been a while for you, right? And I mean, it took me almost two weeks to work up to a dildo and you've obviously already done this but -"

"A dildo?" Trowa's voice sounded strained.

"Yeah, I mean Wufei said I could try a butt plug if I was just wondering about the fit of things, you know? But that a dildo would be better for, well, learning how to fuck I guess. Better than a cucumber," Duo added with a smirk as he remembered Trowa's insistence that Duo avoid practicing any kind of sexual acts with produce.

"Wait. Wufei told you to get a dildo? _When_?"

"We ran into each other two weeks or so ago - at Criminal Records? - and… I mean… I don't have any gay friends or anything. We started talking and I figured that _he_ wasn't going to try to sabotage me or freak me out like Quatre did so…"

Trowa swallowed hard and seemed to be trying to decide what to ask Duo next.

"You've used a dildo to fuck yourself?" He finally asked.

Duo nodded.

"A few times now - it wasn't really all that great the first time, if I'm being really honest, but by now… I mean when I did it this afternoon I'm pretty sure I've got the method down. I don't _last_ all that long if I try to do that and jack off at the same time but -"

His words were lost in Trowa's mouth as the other man kissed him, hungrily and passionately, and Duo was momentarily lost himself in the sensation.

It was several minutes before Trowa pulled away, and when he did there was a serious expression on his face.

"I love you," Trowa said, and it was clear that even though they were in a very intimate position and had been talking about sex, he really meant it.

"I love you," Duo responded.

Trowa reached out and cradled Duo's jaw in his hands.

"You are the most amazing person I've ever met, Duo."

He swallowed hard, uncomfortable with the sincerity in Trowa's voice and the softness in his eyes.

"I doubt I'm the most amazing person," Duo demurred. "Top ten - maybe top five, but -"

"No," Trowa interrupted him with a shake of his head. "No one else compares to you."

Trowa held his gaze for long enough that Duo thought back to all of the other people Trowa had met - Heero, Wufei, _Quatre_.

"You know it's the same for me, right?" Duo asked him. "I mean, you've changed my whole life, Tro, and I don't - I love you," he finished, not really knowing what he had planned to say.

Trowa kissed him again, some of the intensity of the previous kiss gone, but none of the passion or the need.

"Now," Trowa said once he pulled away, "I believe you were in the process of demonstrating your technique?"

He laid back and reached down, spreading his ass cheeks apart and then offered Duo a cocky grin.

"Where are your condoms?"

Duo nodded to the drawer beside Trowa's head and Trowa reached over, grabbed one of the foil wrappers, and set it down beside the bottle of lube.

"I wondered why you were using lube instead of straight massage oil," Trowa murmured and Duo flushed, embarrassed at being caught.

Of course Trowa had noticed - didn't he notice everything?

"Instead of sucking me off," Trowa said, "why don't I keep my own hands busy?" He demonstrated by taking a firm grip on his cock with his right hand and pumping it several times, reviving the hard erection from moments before.

"Are you sure?" Duo asked, uncomfortable with the knowledge that he wasn't giving Trowa the full treatment anymore.

Trowa nodded.

"It will be easier for you to focus on what you're trying, plus, I want to be able to look at your face."

Duo nodded in agreement, he liked the idea of being able to look at Trowa too, and it was a little hard to look at Trowa, suck him off, and finger him all at the same time.

He started to open the lube again, but Trowa stopped him.

"Get undressed, Duo. I don't mind being fucked by someone who is still fully dressed, but not tonight."

The mental image those words conjured up had Duo hard instantly. He pictured himself pinning Trowa to the wall of a bathroom stall and fucking him, their pants only down far enough for access to Trowa's ass and Duo's cock and he had to take a deep breath to bring himself back to the present.

Duo complied with Trowa's request, quickly stripping out of his clothes. He paused, naked, when he saw Trowa's eyes riveted to his already erect cock.

He stroked himself and Trowa's eyes shifted from his groin to his face.

"See something you want?" Duo teased him.

"Yes," Trowa practically growled and Duo rejoined him on the bed, taking a few moments to grind against him, enjoying the feel of Trowa's hard, lean body and his equally hard cock. He could feel Trowa's hands gripping his hips tightly, urging him closer, and then Trowa's hands moved lower, to Duo's ass, tightening on the cheeks and then, very gently, teasing at the puckered hole buried there.

Duo gasped at the sensation and thrust against Trowa again.

He had learned how to pleasure himself that way, but the feeling of _Trowa_ touching him was suddenly so much more, so much better, even though it was just light and teasing.

"Did you want to - do you want to fuck me instead?" He pulled away from Trowa to ask, his heart pounding with excitement at the thought. He had wanted to top Trowa first, to convince himself that he could do this both ways, but now that Trowa was touching him he really didn't care whose ass would get a cock buried deep in it tonight.

"No," Trowa said, "Not tonight. I just… had to tease you a little," he added with a smile.

Duo eased back into his previous position, kneeling between Trowa's legs, and he spread more lube on his fingers.

"Tell me if I do this wrong, or if it hurts or -"

"I will," Trowa told him, "just do whatever you've done to yourself."

Trowa reached down, taking hold of his own cock again and stroking himself with a firm, slow rhythm but Duo refused to be distracted by the sight.

Instead, he resumed his earlier exploration of Trowa, starting again with his balls and then working his way to Trowa's perineum, pleased that this time Trowa didn't freeze but instead shifted against Duo's hand, clearly wanting more contact.

"Is that okay? I know I'm really sensitive there," he told Trowa.

"God Duo, you're going to make me come just thinking about you fucking yourself," Trowa breathed. "Yes, it's okay," he added when Duo didn't immediately resume his caressing.

Duo applied slightly more pressure, stroking his fingers up and down the flesh between Trowa's anus and his balls and was rewarded with a groan from Trowa and an arch of his hips.

Clearly this was okay.

He traced the index finger of his right hand lower, over the tight right of muscle and all the way down Trowa's crack until he reached his lower back and then reversed the path, toying with Trowa while at the same time preparing both of them for the next step.

He repeated this several times until Trowa's was shifting forward, trying to bring his ass down on Duo's fingers, and Duo had to smirk.

"You're such a damned tease," Trowa growled.

"Says you," Duo shot back, remembering the way Trowa had touched him just moments before, but he took pity on Trowa and circled his fingers around that dark nexus. He kept his touch light but firm as he ran his fingers around the rim and then gently nudged at the opening with the tip of his index finger, feeling the resistance and letting it push his finger back out. Trowa made an encouraging sound, and Duo could see that his pace had changed, that he was tugging at his cock unsteadily. Another good sign.

He eased the tip of his finger back in and Trowa's ass seemed to clench at him, drawing the digit further in and Duo marveled at the tightness, the heat and the almost overwhelming desire to immediately replace his finger with his cock. Trowa was _so tight._

Duo angled his finger, wiggling it around until he found the bulb of tissue he was searching for and he stroked it with his finger, earning a whimper of pleasure from Trowa. It was an entirely new noise, one that Duo had never heard Trowa make before, and it made his mouth go completely dry.

Trowa was looking at him, his eyes unfocused and dark, and Duo could see the need and the trust in his eyes.

Duo moved his other hand to Trowa's perineum and starting stroking him, inside and out, and Trowa was soon gasping for breath, his hand fell away from his cock and he reached out, grabbing onto Duo's hips.

Duo eased a second finger into Trowa and starting to thrust in and out, shallowly, slowly, careful to nudge his prostate inside and outside.

"Jesus Christ, Duo!"

"Is it okay?" Duo asked, stopping.

"Don't you dare stop!"

Duo couldn't help but laugh at the fierce command.

"Not even to replace my fingers with something bigger?" He asked, teasing. If Trowa wanted him to just finger fuck him, Duo was perfectly content to do that. The sight of Trowa this out of control, practically writhing on the bed, was the most erotic sight Duo had ever seen. He felt certain that a few more minutes of doing this to Trowa would be almost enough to get _him _off, if only he could find a way to grind against Trowa's leg or something.

"Uhh - yes, please, Duo. I want your cock now."

"Are you sure you're ready?" It usually took Duo a little longer to work himself up to taking in the dildo, and he knew the dildo was slimmer than he was.

"Yes, please," Trowa repeated and then, clearly deciding to take an active role in this, he fumbled around for the condom and tore open the wrapper. He tried to scoot down on the bed close enough to reach Duo's cock, and Duo obliged, moving his hips to one side so that Trowa could roll the condom down his cock and Duo sighed in pleasure at the sensation of Trowa's hand on him.

Trowa squeezed a healthy amount of lube onto his hand and then rubbed it on the head of Duo's cock and Duo groaned. Even through the condom it felt good to have Trowa touching him.

"You're sure you're ready?" Duo had to ask again, even as Trowa started guiding him back between his legs.

"Duo, if we can agree that _you_ know what you're ready for when we have sex can we please agree that _I_ know what I'm ready for?" Trowa said, and it was clear he was fighting back irritation.

Duo removed his fingers from Trowa, deciding that actions were preferable to words at this point, and he nudged against Trowa with his cock.

Slowly, Duo eased himself into Trowa, inch by excruciating inch.

It was _nothing_ like vaginal sex. Trowa felt so impossibly tight and hot and Duo was positive this had to be hurting him because he didn't see how Trowa could fit all of him inside but then Duo's pelvis bumped against Trowa's ass.

"Holy shit," he breathed. "I just - I'm sorry I have to ask, this doesn't hurt?"

Trowa shook his head in the negative.

"It doesn't hurt, it's just been awhile and you're… not small, Duo," he added with a wry grin. "Just give me a minute to adjust to this."

The words did not fill Duo with confidence. He started to pull out.

"No," Trowa said, arching up to pull Duo back in, and _that_ feeling had Duo instantly on the brink of orgasm.

"Oh Tro, Jesus, Tro - if you do that again I'm not going to last. I'm sorry. You just feel so damned good - you're so tight and hot and - fuck! Tro!"

Trowa was arching up against him, clearly adjusted already, and Duo thrust back against him, into him, and they both moaned.

"Tro, Tro, please tell me this is okay? Is it good for you? What can I do?"

"Keep doing what you're doing, Duo," Trowa told him, his voice strained. "God yes, this is good for me - just keep going."

Duo looked at him, holding eye contact as he pulled out slowly, almost all of the way, and then pushed back in.

Trowa shuddered and his hands gripped Duo's hips tightly, urging Duo to quicken the pace.

"I'm sorry," Duo gasped, feeling his orgasm building. "I'm sorry, I'm not going to last much longer, Tro. You feel so damned good and I - God, Trowa!"

He came with what felt like explosive force and it was one of the most intense orgasms of his life, bordering on painful, and his brain seemed to be incapable of thought for a solid minute afterwards.

Duo drew in a deep breath and pulled out, slowly, reaching down to make sure the condom stayed on, and he noticed that Trowa was still hard, still leaking.

"I'm sorry, I've neglected you again," he panted, still trying to catch his breath. "How do you want to get off, Tro?"

Duo slipped off his used condom and tied it off before dropping it over the side of the bed, onto his shirt. He then focused his full attention back on Trowa, laying on top of him and kissing him while at the same time working a hand between their bodies and stroking Trowa hard and fast, the rhythm he knows that Trowa prefers to use on himself.

"Do you want my hand?" He asks, pulling away so that he can whisper against Trowa's lips. "My mouth? My ass? Use my body however you need to, Tro. However you want to. I want you to fuck me, Tro - I want to feel you inside me. And I want your cock in my mouth and I want to wrap my hand around you and feel you ready to explode. Just tell me what you want."

Trowa gasps and arches upwards, the decision clearly already made, and Duo can feel the hot spill of semen between their bodies.

"You've got a dirty mouth," Trowa chastised him once they've both had a moment.

"Your fault," Duo said.

Trowa arched an eyebrow.

"I'm pretty sure you came this way," he argued.

"Yeah, but it wasn't until you filled my mind with all these dirty fantasies of you that my mouth started to catch up," Duo said.

-o-

Trowa usually avoided the dressing rooms at the theatre. Once, when he was young and dumb, he had wandered backstage during a final dress rehearsal and offered to help the costume shop out - he would never be that stupid again. What had followed was the most excruciating, nerve wracking experience of his career as he helped sew on buttons, snaps, velco, zippers - it had seemed that everything that _could_ go wrong had gone wrong. So he had learned - don't go near anywhere costumers are likely to be, which meant to keep clear of the dressing rooms as well as the costume shop.

Of course, he had broken this rule of his several times in the past - all times when he had come backstage to wait for Quatre after a rehearsal or a show. Some of those times had resulted in sex right there in the dressing room, but most of the time they were able to restrain themselves until they got to one of their cars or apartments.

Tonight, as the cast prepared for the final dress rehearsal of _The Tempest_, Quatre was the furthest thing from Trowa's mind as he walked up to the men's dressing room and knocked.

Which of course meant that it was Quatre who opened it, a sunny smile on his face that instantly transformed into a lecherous smirk.

He opened the door wider, displaying his almost entirely naked body. As Ariel, Quatre's costume consisted of an airbrushed body suit but he had not yet changed into it and instead stood before Trowa naked except for the nude dance belt that covered his dick.

"Well, I haven't had one of these visits in quite a while," Quatre said with a wink.

Trowa was amazed at how easy it was for him to dismiss Quatre.

"No, I'm actually here to have a word with Wufei," he said and felt a small, petty moment of triumph when Quatre looked crestfallen.

The other actor in question approached from his spot near the back of the room. There was apparently some kind of hierarchy to the assignment of stations in a company dressing room. Cathy had explained it to him once, but Trowa hadn't had much interest - he had only wanted to know where he could find Quatre's spot so he could leave him a note, not so he could figure out how important he was.

Wufei, unlike Quatre, was already in costume. His costume was also an airbrushed body suit, and it hugged his lean form like a glove. He looked powerful and primal and Trowa was excited for Duo to see Wufei as Caliban. During one of their many conversations over the past months Duo had mentioned that he thought Caliban had gotten a raw deal, and Trowa had agreed. He knew that Duo would be happy with Wufei's interpretation of the character.

"Hey," Wufei said and shouldered in front of Quatre, going so far as to take the door handle away and close it behind him, giving the other actors privacy and shutting Quatre out of their conversation.

Trowa had to arch an eyebrow at the move. Wufei wasn't exactly subtle at the best of times, but causing dressing room drama was something he always seemed to avoid.

"Sorry," Wufei said, his voice tense, "there's only so much of Princess Winner I can take at the moment."

"Oh? What happened?"

Wufei sighed.

"One of the new company members - Ferdinand? - well Quatre's coming onto him pretty strong and the kid is _not_ interested but he's also worried about his job because Quatre's a senior member of the company. It's just the same old bullshit. Used to be I could always point him in _your_ direction and he'd lay off the kids, but these days…" Wufei shrugged.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize." And he hadn't. He didn't know what he could do about it exactly, but he could sympathize with the kid.

"Doesn't matter. Nothing you can do, unless you want to invite Quatre to join you and Duo in bed - and that's a stupid idea so don't even think about it," Wufei added with a growl.

"It honestly never crossed my mind," Trowa assured him. Now that it _had_ he had to admit that the idea had little appeal. He had loved Quatre, had really loved sex with him - but Quatre had no place with him, and certainly not with him and Duo.

"Anyway, you wanted to talk to me?" Wufei asked, seeming to shake himself away from Quatre.

"Oh, yeah."

It had seemed like the right thing to do, on his way to the theatre that afternoon, but now that he was _here_ it felt almost awkward to bring it up.

Wufei was staring at him, clearly expectant.

The dressing room door opened and Quatre stuck his head out.

"They just made the fifteen minute call, Wufei, and you're still not in full makeup," the blonde said and Trowa could feel the anger radiating off Wufei at the words.

While Trowa didn't know that much about actors etiquette with each other, he knew enough to know that Quatre was being an asshole.

So he stepped forward, wrapped his arms around Wufei and hugged him tightly, partly to keep Wufei from trying to punch Quatre, but mostly because it seemed the easiest way to express his gratitude.

"Thank you," he said into his ear. "You're an amazing friend."

He pulled away and saw that Quatre was glaring and Wufei was staring at him blankly.

But then Wufei's expression cleared and he smirked.

"So, how _was_ young Mr. Maxwell?" Wufei asked. He crossed his arms. "I told him that you'd be fine going slow his first time - you did, didn't you?"

Trowa snorted.

"Wufei, I was just along for the ride - he did exactly what he wanted to with me," Trowa said and couldn't help the warm, lustful smile that spread across his face as he remembered last night.

"Oh. You finally fucked your straight boyfriend?" Quatre snapped. "It's about damn time. Maybe now you can move on?"

Trowa looked over at him. He knew it was petty, knew it was private and none of Quatre's business, but he couldn't walk away from this chance to take him down a notch when it was clear he was being an asshole.

"He fucked me, actually. It was his first time, so while he's not quite at Heero's level of finesse," he shared a wink with Wufei, "I'm pretty sure he's going to be the best top I've ever been with."

It had the expected result, and Quatre's mouth snapped shut and he slammed the door behind him as he disappeared back into the dressing room.

Wufei arched an eyebrow at him.

"Really?"

Trowa felt stupid and immature. Trowa had been with a lot of different guys, had tried a lot of different things, and while he enjoyed being a top and a bottom, if he had to choose to identify himself as just one, he would say he was a bottom. That had been fine with Heero - who loved to top but sometimes liked to bottom - and with most of the guys Trowa had been with over the years. Quatre, however, just didn't care to top Trowa. He loved to bottom and the two times he had tried to top Trowa he had more or less given up, saying it was too difficult to get Trowa off, and Quatre's refusal to top him had been a recurring theme in their arguments over the years.

"I know. That was mean and -"

"No," Wufei interrupted him. "You really think he's that good?"

Trowa could only grin.

"Too bad you're never going to know," Trowa told him and Wufei glared. "But I can't thank you enough for being there for him, for whatever you said to him or helped him with. Thank you."

Wufei's glare turned into a confident smirk and then he shrugged.

"Don't mention it. Now stop distracting everyone. I've got to finish my fucking makeup," he said the last as he opened the door and walked back into the dressing room. Clearly, the trouble with Quatre would continue.


	14. Chapter 14

Standard Disclaimers: Not mine.

Warnings: angst, language, yaoi

Pairings: 2x3, 3x4, 1x5, past 1x3, past 2xH

Author's Note: How did I completely forget to mention this was inspired by _Kissing Jessica Stein_?! If you haven't seen that movie - see it now!

And I'm sorry about the time between updates - work got crazy but is settling back down now.

_The Road Not Taken_

Chapter 14

As the lights dimmed on the stage for the final time, Duo surged to his feet, ready to offer a standing ovation to the cast of _The Tempest_.

He had never seen a better production, he decided - not that he had seen _The Tempest_ all that often, just twice before - but _this_ had been incredible. Trowa had told him he would enjoy it, and Trowa had been right. Wufei, as Caliban had been absolutely devastating - evil and twisted but vulnerable in a way that made Duo hate his fate. Even Quatre as Ariel had been great and Duo could see what it was about the blonde man that had drawn Trowa in. When Quatre smiled, even when he was acting, it was as if the entire room lit up. His blue eyes sparkled with mischief and joy and his entire being seemed to vibrate with energy. It was intoxicating.

No wonder Trowa had been willing to be his long term one night stand.

Duo looked beside him, wanting to look at Trowa's face and see what he had thought of the performance, but Trowa was slumped back in his chair, his right hand propping up his head and his eyes were closed. He was asleep.

Duo choked on a laugh. It wasn't _that_ funny, considering the week he knew Trowa had had, but it was comical to see Trowa sleeping through the thunderous applause on opening night.

He reached over and gently nudged him and Trowa snapped awake, a wild look in his eyes.

"Show's over," Duo told him.

Trowa rubbed his eyes and then looked around, taking in the audience as they started to trickle out of the theatre.

"Shit. I think I slept through the entire thing."

"Don't worry. Wufei only forgot two lines and only one person fell down the trap accidently."

Trowa was clearly exhausted - his eyes widened for a moment before he realized Duo was only joking and then he relaxed back in his seat.

"You shouldn't do that to me, I'm so tired I'm practically delusional at this point."

"Clearly."

Duo sat back down beside him and Trowa actually shifted so that he was resting his head on Duo's shoulder.

"You going to make it through drinks at the bar?"

"I might have to do a shot or two," Trowa mumbled, already sounding on the verge of sleep again.

"I've never seen you do shots," Duo realized and wondered what Trowa would be like after a few tequila shots.

"Are you planning on getting me drunk and taking advantage of me?" Trowa asked.

"Yep," Duo assured him.

He let Trowa drift for a few more minutes. They were in no rush to leave - considering the amount of makeup Wufei had been wearing Duo was willing to bet it would be close to half an hour before he met them at the bar.

"I'm sorry your week was complete hell," Duo told him. He kissed the top of Trowa's head. "But the show looked amazing."

"Considering the fact that I've had four hours of sleep since Saturday it had _better_ look amazing," Trowa grumbled.

On Sunday morning Trowa had been woken up at eight in the morning by a phone call from the stage manager for the shower - an air conditioning unit over the stage had broken and dozens of gallons of water and coolant had been dumped all over the stage, destroying most of the scenery. It was a freak accident, and as Trowa told Duo what had happened he had been sure that Trowa was making it up - but he hadn't been.

Duo followed him to the theatre and had been completely baffled by the standing water onstage, the wilting scenery and the running paint.

It had taken most of the day on Sunday to sort through the mess, and Duo had stuck around to help. By the time the cast arrived for their scheduled rehearsal at noon the stage was almost completely empty.

Some of the actors had gone home, but a handful, including Wufei and Quatre, had stuck around and helped.

At one point Duo had found himself actually working side by side with Quatre to haul useless scenery to the dumpster and it had been strange, working in companionable silence with someone he would just as soon not see again.

By the time Duo left the theatre that night, Trowa, Heero and a crew of carpenters and electricians were gathered around a table, drawing and planning frantically for how to salvage the show.

Trowa had worked through the entire night on Sunday and Monday, only taking a few hours break on Tuesday night to rest while paint dried, before starting again and working all the way up until only an hour before the show opened on Wednesday.

Duo had come by to help on each of those days, but found that his limited skills made him more of a liability than anything else - so he came by every few hours with coffee and donuts and stuck around to clean or base coat things.

They had skipped dinner that night so that Trowa could go home and shower, and when Duo had met him at the theatre he had been struck by how incredibly exhausted Trowa looked. As he watched the show, Duo had been almost awestruck - it was crazy to think that Trowa and the others had managed to create such amazing scenery in only a handful of days when before it had taken them weeks of planning and construction.

"You know, you're kind of amazing," Duo told Trowa and nudged him awake again. "But if we don't head towards the bar now I'm probably going to have to carry you home."

"You might have to do that anyway," Trowa told him around a yawn.

"Come on - let's get a few shots into you. And if you promise to stay awake for at _least_ fifteen minutes, I'll tuck you in later." Duo smirked at him and Trowa chuckled.

"So you _are_ planning on taking advantage of me."

"Oh yeah - I already admitted that. But I'm thinking my dastardly plans might have to wait a night or two - the only thing you're going to be doing in a bed tonight is sleeping."

"Did you just say dastardly?"

"Uh huh."

Trowa nodded and finally stood up.

"Next thing I know you're going to be plotting to 'steal my innocence' and 'ravish me senseless.'"

"Oh, those plots are definitely already in place," Duo assured him.

The walk to the bar was pleasant despite the heat of late July. It was after ten at night, but the Atlanta streets were still baking with the sun's heat from early in the day. Still, Duo enjoyed the sedate walk, the way his shoulder bumped against Trowa's and the feel of Trowa's long fingers brushing against his own.

It left him in a state of low, burning arousal and even though he knew Trowa wasn't going to be up for anything _tonight_, it still felt good.

The bar was louder than usual - clearly everyone in the show was nearly as exhausted as Trowa and they seemed to be celebrating with the kind of mania that only came from days without sleep.

Duo spotted Wufei, Heero and Catharine at their usual table and nudged Trowa in their direction.

"Go ahead - I'll grab a few shots for you and some beers. _Don't_ fall asleep."

Trowa rolled his eyes but left him to go sit with the others.

Duo wove his way through the crowd and up to the bar.

When he finally had the bartender's attention he ordered five tequila shots and two Shock Tops. As he waited he looked around, taking in the tired, smiling faces of the company.

In some ways he envied Trowa for this - Duo loved history, he loved research and he loved to write, but there was something to be said for the kind of camaraderie that came from working together to create.

"You're just not going to go away, are you?"

Duo turned at the voice and saw Quatre leaning against the bar beside him.

"I hadn't planned on it, no," Duo replied.

Quatre scowled.

"I'd really like to hate you," Quatre muttered, "but you don't make it easy."

Duo snorted.

"Right back at you. You're an asshole - but… Trowa's incredible. I get it. I get why you tried to scare me off."

Quatre sighed.

"Can't you just… act jealous or insecure or _something_? You really don't care at _all_ that I work with him - that he could be hooking up with me and you'd never even know?"

Duo frowned.

"I care - I'd sure as shit care if he was hooking up with you and lying to me, but he's not. If he wanted to be with you, then he wouldn't be with me." Duo shrugged. "I trust him."

Quatre arched an eyebrow, an expression that Duo had seen on Trowa's face often enough that he wondered if Quatre had learned it from him.

"You trust him? Even after what he did to -" Quatre stopped himself suddenly.

"Even after?" Duo prompted.

Quatre gave him a long, level look.

"You really love him?"

Duo frowned, confused by this change in conversation.

"Yeah? Of course I do."

"Of course," Quatre echoed, a slight, bitter edge to his voice. He shook his head. "It's nothing. I'm…" Quatre shrugged. "I guess you win."

"I don't think it's a competition," Duo said.

"No," Quatre agreed with a sigh, "but all the same. Take care of him."

The bartender produced a small tray of full shot glasses and two beers. Duo paid for the drinks and started to leave, but then he stopped and turned back to Quatre.

"You were great tonight, by the way."

Quatre smirked.

"Thank you. Did Trowa enjoy the show?"

Duo snorted.

"He enjoyed the back of his eyelids."

Quatre chuckled and Duo had to wonder, if they had met under different circumstances, would they have become friends?

"Make sure he finally gets some sleep."

"I will."

Duo made his way back to Trowa and the others, who were in the middle of retelling some story from the last time they had experienced a disaster of this magnitude.

He passed a shot to each of them before setting down the beers in front of Trowa and himself.

"Here's to you guys making a miracle happen," he said and saluted them with the shot glass.

"With your help," Trowa said.

The others nodded and they all downed the tequila.

"God, I am not young enough to deal with shit like this anymore," Trowa griped.

Heero nodded in agreement but Wufei smirked.

"Feeling your age creep up on you?" Wufei taunted them. "Maybe that's why they went for our young, handsome, insatiable selves." He nodded at Duo.

Heero snorted.

"Wufei, you are nine _months_ younger than me. Don't put me in the same category as that cradle robber over there."

Trowa scowled.

"I robbed _nothing," _Trowa argued. "_He_'s the one with dastardly plans."

Duo had to chuckle at the looks on everyone else's faces.

"You're goofy when you don't sleep, did you know that?" He told Trowa, who just smirked back at him, tired but happy.

"But speaking of young, handsome, insatiable guys like Wufei and myself," Duo said, earning a nod of approval from Wufei, "how did you two meet?"

"Heero and I?"

Duo nodded.

"Yeah. You all seem to know each other pretty well - did you go to school together or…?"

Wufei shrugged.

"We've worked together for years now, and while we don't normally spend four days locked in a building together, we _do_ spend a lot of time together," Wufei said. "But no, we didn't go to school together." He looked over at Heero. "I think… was it _Henry V_?"

Heero nodded, a smirk on his face.

"You were just in the chorus and you were so full of yourself and _so_ pissed at being overlooked for Gloucester."

Wufei sighed and nodded.

"True. I'm still pissed about that." He shrugged. "Anyway, Heero designed the lights and he made some snotty comment about the _Star Wars_ shirt I wore to a tech rehearsal -"

"It was _not_ a snotty comment. I pointed out that the explosion of the Death Star on it didn't make any sense -"

"Because there isn't enough oxygen in space for that kind of explosion, yeah, yeah, I _know_." Wufei looked at Duo and rolled his eyes. "No imagination."

Duo felt his lips twitch. He imagined that _this_ was fairly typical of the conversations between Heero and Wufei.

"Wait, that's not how you two _first_ met," Catharine spoke up. "You met years before that - I remember introducing you two during _Noises Off_."

Heero shrugged.

"Yes, but I think Duo was asking how we met in the context of how we started dating."

"But you knew each other for years _before_ you started dating? What, it took you that long to fight about _Star Wars_ and realize you were crazy?"

Heero shrugged again.

"Trowa and I were still together when I first met Wufei," he said, his voice neutral.

"Oh."

Duo looked over at Trowa and saw that he was alert for perhaps the first time that night, a slight frown on his face.

It made sense, Duo realized, that Trowa and Heero had dated. It was clear they were more than just old friends - they acted towards each other in ways that often reminded Duo of the way he and Hilde interacted. It was clear they had a close, intimate history that went beyond friendship. He wondered why Trowa had never said anything to him about that.

He also had to wonder why they had broken up - thinking about it, Trowa and Heero seemed nearly perfect for each other - they were both quiet, smart, funny, hard working, handsome. Heero was clearly someone who believed in long term, committed relationships - he was engaged to Wufei and the two were in the process of adopting children. Heero seemed like everything Trowa could want in a partner.

"Well," Cathy spoke up into the strange, tense silence that had fallen, "I think I'll head home and finally spend some quality time with my bed. Great work everyone."

"Maybe we should do the same," Wufei said, giving Heero a significant look.

Heero looked over at Trowa, searching his face for something, and Trowa shrugged one shoulder.

"Sure. I'm guessing you want to skip our run tomorrow morning?"

Trowa nodded.

"Yeah, but I'll see you on Friday?"

Heero nodded and he stood up.

"Good seeing you again," he said to Duo.

"Yeah… uh, same to you."

As Heero and Wufei left Duo couldn't help but feel like he was missing something - something big.

"So that was awkward," he said once they were alone.

"I'm sorry," Trowa sighed.

Duo shrugged.

"I dunno, I feel like it was my fault."

"No, it wasn't you. It was me." Trowa tossed back the last of his beer and gave Duo a look that could only be described as resigned. "Can we go?"

"Sure." Duo finished his own beer and felt a growing sense of dread. What the hell was going on? "Um… my place or yours?"

Trowa gave him a bitter smirk.

"Probably both."

"Okay…"

Duo followed Trowa outside and they walked back towards the theatre and the parking lot in silence.

By the time they reached Trowa's car Duo was wondering if he was about to get dumped. Again.

"Tro, what the hell is going on, man?"

Trowa sighed and looked at him for a long, silent moment.

"I should have told you, about Heero and me."

Duo shrugged.

"It would have been nice to know, but… it's not like I've told you about everyone _I_'_ve_ ever dated."

Trowa sighed.

"I should have told you about Heero, though."

"Okay. I don't think it's _that_ big of a deal, though - I'm not angry or anything." He wondered if Trowa was legitimately tired past the point of coherent thought. Duo didn't think _he_ was acting upset about this, but maybe Trowa thought he was? "Look, if you want, we can exchange an entire list of people we've dated - but maybe some other time? I really think you could do with a decent night's sleep."

"I cheated on him, with Quatre."

It took several moments for Duo to process that.

"Oh."

-o-

"You're alive."

It wasn't their usual greeting, but considering how Trowa felt, he didn't blame Heero for saying that when he met up with him at the park on Friday morning for their run.

"Of course I'm alive."

Heero nodded cautiously.

"And clearly thrilled to be that way."

Trowa glared at him.

"I take it you finally told him," Heero said.

"Can we just run and _not_ treat this like a therapy session?" Trowa snapped.

Heero shrugged but he turned on his heel and started to run.

Feeling like an ass, Trowa followed behind, and with each impact of his feet on the dirt path he felt like even more of an ass.

On Wednesday night, after he had told Duo about Quatre, the younger man had seemed completely at a loss for words. They had stared at each other for a few minutes, and then Duo had suggested Trowa go home and get some sleep.

It was the last he had spoken to him. Trowa had waited all day yesterday for something - a text, a phone call - but Duo had remained distant and silent.

Trowa couldn't blame him.

"For fuck's sake." Heero came to a sudden, abrupt stop after only two miles and Trowa stumbled into him.

"What?"

"You're an idiot," Heero said, a furious look on his face.

"I think you've mentioned that before, once or twice," Trowa muttered.

"Because you are," Heero practically growled.

Trowa sighed.

"Yeah, I know."

"So what are you going to _do_ about it?"

"What the hell can I do? I fucked up - I fucked up years ago and it ruined us and now it's ruined what Duo and I had. I'm an idiot. I _agree_."

Heero shook his head.

"That's not the part that makes you an idiot. _This_ is - you just giving up."

"I'm not giving up. I'm accepting the fact that he deserves someone better. You did too - and you found him."

"You are so full of shit. You're telling me that if the next time you see Duo and he's with another guy - you'd be _okay_ with that?"

"No."

In fact, the mental image twisted something deep inside of Trowa. He would definitely _not_ be okay with that. He didn't think he could stand to see Duo smirk at someone else, or quote Shakespeare or flirt with someone - he couldn't even _think_ about what it would feel like to see Duo kiss someone else.

"So _do_ something about it!"

"What? What the hell _can_ I do? I _cheated_ on you, Heero! I lied to you and I threw away years of happiness because Quatre flirted with me. I can't change that and what the hell am I supposed to tell _Duo_? That it was one time - one fucking mistake - and I'll never do it again?"

"Yes. That's exactly what you tell him."

Trowa glared at him.

"Why would he even believe me?"

"So you're just going to walk away, because you're afraid he won't believe you?"

Trowa swallowed.

"You think I'm a coward."

Heero shrugged.

"I think you're an idiot. _Are_ you going to cheat on him?"

"I didn't _plan_ to cheat on _you_," Trowa pointed out.

"But?" Heero prompted.

"No. I'm not going to cheat on him. I -" Trowa didn't quite know how to put his thoughts into words. Duo was different than anyone he had ever been with - and he was the only person Trowa _wanted _to be with. Duo challenged him and inspired him in ways that Trowa had never before experienced.

"So tell him that."

"Because it's that easy?" Trowa snarled.

Heero shrugged.

"It can be."

Trowa sighed.

"And if he tells me to go screw myself?"

"Then I'll buy you a drink and start looking in the classifieds for you again."

Trowa glared at him.

"Isn't he worth risking it?"

Trowa sighed.

"Of course he is."

"Then do something about it."

"Are you… actually giving me a way out of this run?"

Heero glared at him.

"This _one_ time," he said and held up a finger in warning.

Trowa wasn't entirely sure what he was going to do next, but he figured a shower was a good first step. This wasn't some romantic comedy - he couldn't show up on Duo's doorstep covered in sweat and expect Duo to just fall into his arms.

By the time he arrived back at his apartment his plans still hadn't progressed much further than a shower - he figured it would be safer to just _call_ Duo before he showed up, but at the same time, if this was going to be his last chance to talk to Duo, he would rather do it in person.

"Duo?"

As he opened the door to his apartment he saw the other man sitting on his couch.

Duo jumped up instantly.

"I, uh, I still had your spare key." He held it up as proof.

Trowa had given him the key on Monday when Duo offered to run over to his apartment and get a fresh set of clothes for him.

"Right."

They stood there awkwardly, staring at each other.

"Can I ask you something?" Duo spoke up.

"Of course."

Duo drew in a deep breath, clearly trying to work himself up to his question.

"Was it worth it?

"No," Trowa answered immediately, emphatically.

"Then why - why did you keep seeing him? All these years?"

Trowa sighed. There was no easy answer to that.

"Because Heero - he's a great guy. He's smart, he's funny, he's handsome - you two have the same sense of humor and the same - you two are perfect for each other. You and Quatre -"

"We weren't perfect for each other," Trowa interrupted him. "We were good - we were great together and there is _no_ excuse for what I did - but Heero and I weren't perfect together."

"If you hadn't cheated on him, the two of you would still be together, wouldn't you? You and he would be the ones engaged and adopting."

Trowa shook his head.

"No. Heero is my best friend and I almost ruined that - I ended our relationship in the worst way possible, but it _would_ have ended. Even if I'd never met Quatre - even if I'd never done the shittiest thing possible."

Duo swallowed hard.

"I'm _not_ Heero. And I'm sure as hell not Quatre."

"I know."

Duo looked desperate.

"Then what the hell - Tro, I can't compete with them! You're telling me that Heero _wasn't _perfect for you! You're telling me that Quatre - I'm just me, man. I don't have any - I don't have their experience or their looks or their past with you or _anything_. Tro, I'm nothing compared to -"

"Duo, you are _everything_ compared to them." Trowa fought back his own desperation. "You have no idea how incredible you are and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry that I haven't told you before now that _you_ are perfect - you're brilliant, Duo. And funny and _kind_ and you're so fucking sexy I can't stop looking at you sometimes and I can never stop thinking about you. I did something incredibly stupid five years ago and I've hated myself for it ever since. I've hated myself because I almost destroyed my friendship with Heero and because I _chose_ someone who is the absolute worst possible partner. You aren't competing with either of them, Duo. You never were - I've _never_ - I've never felt like this about anyone before."

Duo stared at him, his dark blue eyes intense as they searched Trowa.

Finally, Duo sighed.

"So you're saying… you're not just going to throw me over for the next guy who quotes Shakespeare to you?"

Trowa's relief was so intense he had to lean back against the door. He shook his head.

"No."

"Good, because I think, for the first time, I really get what he meant in _The Merchant of Venice."_

Trowa frowned in confusion.

"'You speak an infinite deal of nothing?' "

"No," Duo chuckled and then his face turned serious. "'One half of me is yours, the other half yours, mine own, I would say; but if mine, then yours, and so all yours.'"

"Duo. I really want to kiss you, but I'm drenched in sweat."

Duo smirked and closed the space between them, pinning Trowa back against the door.

"I don't care how sweaty you are," Duo said, his curved lips a breath away from Trowa's.

Trowa kissed him, tasting his smile, feeling Duo's entire body press into him.

"I think this is the part where I say 'take me to bed or lose me forever,'" Duo said, pulling away.

"That's not Shakespeare," Trowa said and kissed him again.

He eased them away from the door, guiding Duo backwards, deeper into the apartment.

"I'm something like seventy five percent positive Shakespeare wrote the screenplay for _Top Gun_," Duo argued.

"I'm something like one hundred percent sure that if I take you to bed, right now, this disgusting, I _will_ lost you forever."

"Take me to the shower or lose me forever? Not quite the same ring to it, but we can make it work."

-o-

The End.

And now I will start to revisit my WIPs. I'm open to suggestions of which I should revisit first. I'm still working on _What May Come_ and will continue to post updates of that alongside whichever of my old pieces I tackle first.

At some point in the future I might throw an epilogue onto this. But for now, c'est finis.


End file.
